


Is It Weird?

by a_simple_rainbow



Series: Is It Weird [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Epistolary, Klaine, M/M, klaine AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-15 14:02:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 53,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2231718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_simple_rainbow/pseuds/a_simple_rainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine sends his Topics in Contemporary Music mid-term essay to the wrong e-mail address, writing an extra m where it was supposed to read Humel. Kurt, spending a semester abroad in Paris, is having a challenging night of essay writing and procrastination, and goes a little bit beyond letting Blaine know he got the wrong person, sparking what will soon be described as a "weird pen-palish thing we got going on" that takes them both by surprise and leaves them hopeful and giddy.</p><p>Warning: Small mentions of Finn and his death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All the time stamps in the e-mails are marked New York time - Paris is +6 hours

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 11:12**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **To:** khummel@gmail.com

 **Subject:** Topics in Contemporary Music – essay delivery

 **Attachments:** TICM_essay_BAnderson.pdf

Dear Professor Humel,

My mid-term essay for your class Topics in Contemporary Music is in attachment to this e-mail, as previously agreed. Please, do let me know if you have any trouble viewing or opening it.

I would also like to apologize again for not being able to hand this in person, or attend the latest lecture. I hope to be back in your classroom in another couple of weeks, but if it does not happen I’ve already made sure to have all further reading material ready and would be very grateful if we could have a similar arrangement for the final exam/essay.

I’m truly sorry for missing so many of your lectures, as I found them extremely interesting as well as inspiring on a surprising number of topics and levels.

Thank you again for your comprehension and flexibility. I understand the importance of the exception you’ve made.

Best Regards,

Blaine Anderson

2nd Year Student – Undergrad Music Major, NYU

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 11:45**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** RE: Topics in contemporary music – essay delivery

Dear Blaine Anderson,

Thank you for such a lovely e-mail, with such a lovely essay on such lovely topics. A thought, I’m sure, will be strongly shared by whoever is your Professor in Topics in Contemporary Music – which I am not.

I’m afraid you must have typed the wrong e-mail (might I guess that you typed in an extra m on the e-mail address, writing hummel instead of humel?), for I am neither an NYU professor or student, and I’m certainly not qualified to be the recipient of such essays, no matter how lovely they are. As it is, I’m just a Fashion Design student.

On that note, if you’d like to send me essays about the ethics of cultural appropriation in fashion I would be eternally grateful.

Finally, I feel that I would bomb the place if that essay did not receive an A (or 100 points, or 20, or top marks in whatever grading system you guys have at NYU), if I were you.

But you should probably send it to the right person, for now.

Have a fantastic one,

Kurt HumMel

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 17:57**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Sincerest apologies

Dear Mr. Hummel,

I am so sorry to have disturbed you. Your guess is very much correct. My Professor is K. Humel and it seems that an extra m makes all the difference. It also helps that, for some reason, said professor refuses to use her institutional e-mail.

Thank you very much for your kind words on my essay, although I’m not sure if you read it or if you were just making a joke.

I’m afraid I’m not very well-versed in those topics, but it seems to me that while taking inspiration in a culture and using some of that in one’s design is one thing, another completely different would be to outright copy it and use it regardless of context or appropriateness – which seems to be, as far as I can tell, the difference between appreciating and appropriating. I might have some literature on the equivalent subject for music, if you think it might help you?

Bombing would be extreme, but thank you for the idea and vote of confidence.

Again, my sincerest apologies for this misunderstanding, and thank you for being so gracious about it.

Best Regards,

Blaine Anderson

2nd Year Student – Undergrad Music Major, NYU

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 19:27**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** I actually read it

Dear Mr. Anderson,

Please don’t call me Mr. Hummel. My FATHER isn’t Mr. Hummel. I might be fancy, but I’m not into being treated as a fifty year old man when I’m twenty.

You are so polite! It makes me giggle, how polite you are, even towards someone who clearly shouldn’t be allowed to correspond with strangers via e-mail (I’m referring to myself, obviously).

Don’t you hate it when Professors do that? And then you just have like three different e-mails of theirs and you never know which one you’re supposed to use. Ugh.

Anyway, I actually did read your essay, Mr. Anderson. I don’t just go around complimenting people’s essays without knowing what I’m talking about. And by the way, I hope you haven’t already sent it in again, because I just realized I forgot to warn you about the couple of typos you have on the last page. I always have typos on the last page, too (something about being so close to the end and yet not close enough… the despair always seems to catch up to me). Also, the e-mail, although very lovely, was bordering on sucking up to the teacher – so maybe you should revise that, and that flexibility thing…? How about another word, because that’s too easy to misinterpret. Last but not least, why are you not in class, you slacker?! I’m concerned!

Oh my god. You did not just offer to help me with my essay! That’s so nice of you! Are you super nice? Did you take a vow to be nice even to strangers on the Internet? Because that can be very dangerous, Blaine Anderson. I feel like I would be obligated to call your parents if that was the case. Anyway, don’t worry about it. I’m halfway done with my very own mid-term essay on cultural appropriation ethics – and you’re right, I think. At least that’s what I wrote in it, but with more words and examples… I hope the professor thinks we’re right, too.

Better Regards,

NOT Mr. Hummel

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 19:58**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: I actually read it

Dear Kurt (?),

I’m sorry. I’m never too sure how I should address strangers on the Internet, regardless of how “approachable” they might seem. That being said, no, you do not need to warn my parents about my manners. After all, they were the ones who taught me the importance of being nice and polite, and besides, I have 99% of my books on .pdf or .mobi format, so if you wanted them the only thing I’d have to do is attach them to this e-mail – it’s not like I’d be giving you my actual address. But thank you, for the concern.

I sincerely hope your Professor thinks we’re right, too. I may not have read your essay, but I’m sure it's very articulate, interesting, and given the couple e-mails I’ve read, quirky in that way that’s equal parts funny, smart and just a little weird.

Also, I cannot believe you actually read my essay. It was too long for its own good, what do you mean you read it? I mean, thank you **so much**! Now that I know you did read it, your compliments mean so much more, but still!

AND TYPOS? What do mean typos? Ugh. I hate typos. And yes, I had already sent it. But I did tone down the e-mail, thankfully. Flexible on the misinterpreted sense of the word is most definitely something I think she’s not, you know.

I’m not a slacker, thank you very much. I physically cannot be there, seen as I’m in dear old home, with my mom fussing over me as if I was on my death bed. She’s exaggerating, just so you know.

I don’t get it. Are you saying my regards weren’t good enough?,

Blaine Anderson,

2nd Year Student – Undergrad Music Major, NYU

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 22:27**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** I would have preferred if you were a slacker!

Dear Blaine (yes),

Now I’m worried! Are you on your deathbed?! Please tell me you have a broken toe or something like that. I’m so worried.

Actually. Just excuse me. It’s 04:30 am. I’m not well.

Where is home?

You have a kindle? Ugh. I hate you people with your fancy little devices, poking it to pass the page, acting like you’re better than us stupid folk with our heavy, dusty, smelly books, actually having to flip the page and getting scoliosis by the time we’re twenty-five. (That is a joke)

You called me approachable, which I think is a funny word. I always associate it with prostitutes. It kind of makes it sound like I’m some kind of prostitute you “approach”, you know? Ahaha. I’m not a prostitute, though. But I know what you meant – I’m glad you think I’m funny and stuff. I think so, too. About me. I don’t know you enough to know if you’re funny or approachable like a prostitute. Even though you seem very helpful.

Everything is a competition,

Kurt!

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 22:30**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Go to sleep!

Kurt,

If I’d known it was that late for you I would’ve advised you to go to sleep so long ago!

Please tell me you’re not still writing an essay at this time of the night? If you are, do yourself a favor and send it to me before you send it in. I’ll proofread it for you.

Now, go to sleep! And read the rest of this e-mail **after** you wake up.

The rest:

Home is Ohio. Hooray.

Where are you? Did my e-mail reach Europe? Hummel is a German name, right? Are you a German who speaks fluent English (in which case I can’t actually proofread German essays because I don’t speak German)?

I am NOT on my deathbed. I had surgery the day before yesterday, but I’m doing **fine** , and I’ll be back as new in a couple days. I’ll be discharged from the Hospital tomorrow – with any luck. Even though, from what my dad tells me, it sounds like my mom’s been trying to convince the doctor to keep me in ICU for the rest of the year! And to keep the record straight: I was never in ICU to begin with, nor do I need to be. It’s very nice of you to be worried, but hopefully once you’ve had some sleep you’ll see that there’s no reason for it.

I do have a kindle. It’s very useful to read on the subway and the likes, but I still keep my dusty, smelly books on the shelf to sniff them once in a while and give into the marveling ways of nostalgia. I love old stuff, even if I appreciate the pragmatic and ecological value of new things. Besides, I don’t look down on anyone.

Oh my god! There are no words to respond to that last paragraph, so I won’t. I’ll just say that yes, that was _exactly_ what I meant and we should leave it at that.

If you say so,

Blaine Anderson,

2nd Year Student – Undergrad Music Major, NYU

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 22:43**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** I CAN’T

I HAVE TO FINISH THIS ESSAY TONIGHT BECAUSE I REFUSE TO SPEND ANOTHER DAY ON IT.

I AM IN PARIS. I AM AMERICAN. I’M ON A FOREIGN EXCHANGE PROGRAM.

I AM ON THE LAST PAGE, AND I WILL SEND YOU THE ESSAY BECAUSE IT’S SO LATE THAT I HAVE LOST ALL SENSE OF PROPRIETY, PRIDE OR DIGNITY.

AND I GUESS IT MAKES SOME SENSE BECAUSE I READ YOURS. ARE WE PLAYING I’LL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS?

WHAT KIND OF SURGERY? RED VEGETABLES HELP WITH SCARRING. I’M STILL WORRIED.

I WANT A KINDLE. I’M JEALOUS. I ONLY LIKE OLD STUFF IF THEY’RE CLASSY. IN THAT CASE THEY’RE VINTAGE, NOT OLD.

ARE YOU A PROSTITUTE, BLAINE?

GOODBYE,

KURT

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 22:57**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** my dignity and my pride

 **Attachments:** Ethics-KurtHummel.docx

Here. You can have both of them.

There are no words to express my gratitude if you actually proofread it. If not, I understand.

I’m sure I’ll be mortified tomorrow and wake up to re-read the last few e-mails, but right now I just need to sleep for the first time in 48 hours.

Now excuse me while I crawl into my bed.

Greetings,

Kurt Hummel

-x-

**Monday, 13 th November, 2014 – 23:25**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I hope you’re already asleep.

 **Attachments:** Ethics-KurtHummel_corrected.docx; Ethics-KurtHummel_cor-and-trim.docx

Dear Kurt,

Hopefully you will only read this in the morning, or early afternoon.

You’ll find in attachment two corrected versions of your essay.

Personally, it was very interesting, but I hope you didn’t have a minimum requirement of pages, because I ended up trimming it up to seven instead of nine. It was surprisingly fascinating and insightful, but at times it was also a little redundant; to be honest, it felt like you were just repeating yourself for the sake of repeating and it doesn’t feel like your style, you know. However, taking into account that maybe you did have to reach a certain number of words/pages, I have also kept a version with your original text, and only the typos and some minor grammar mistakes fixed. College students unite!

I hope it wasn’t presumptuous of me, or anything. I promise I didn’t mean anything by it, I was really just hoping to help as much as possible.

And I’m horribly bored as well, can you tell? Hospitals are seriously lacking in entertainment after visitation hours.

I’m seriously impressed, especially keeping in mind that you were up well into the night writing it. If I tried doing that I think my essays would turn out to be complete gibberish. So, really, you can keep both your pride and your dignity. Kudos!

I would also advise you against going back to read the last couple of e-mails you sent. Let’s just say I thought I was supposed to be the one high on painkillers. I know curiosity is a tempting mistress, but nothing good can come out of that. If you do fall into temptation, you should know mostly I just laughed with you, not at you.

The very BEST regards,

Blaine Anderson

2nd Year Student – Undergrad Music Major, NYU

-x-

**Tuesday, 14 th November, 2014 – 14:37**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** Eternal gratitude

Dear Blaine,

I feel like this e-mail should be infinite if I were to accurately express both my gratitude and embarrassment over yesterday’s night.

The truth is that even the first e-mails weren’t written with an entirely sound mind. I’d had already spent the previous night up writing another essay (that didn’t profit from your or even my proofreading, so you can imagine the disaster), and I was stressing over the ethics one. I was alternating between actually writing it, panicking over it, and just doing anything and everything that wasn’t it (which would be why I really did read your essay). I may be quirky, as you so kindly put it, but I would never have, with a sound mind, talked to you the way I did yesterday. I’m cringing, because you were just so polite and formal (as one should be when addressing strangers on the internet), and I was just talking to you like we were old friends, to say the least.

Having said that, I’m so happy you don’t seem to scare easy, and I'm impressed with how easily you rolled with it! Thank god, too! Because your proofreading just about saved my essay. With that amount of typos and badly written sentences I would’ve gotten a C, tops. Now, I’ll be dammed if that’s not an A (that ought to teach me a lesson about pulling two all-nighters in a row – never again).

The minimum was 3000 words. With your corrections I’m 200 words shy of it, so I’m just going to hope the insufferable man won’t notice (maybe he won’t even be able to read it, though, his English is terrible! Why is he teaching his course in English?!). The truth is, you’re right; it’s really not my style to be redundant or beat around the bush. But because I go so straight to the point a lot of times I end up with not enough words/pages to reach the requirements.

Thank you again; you’re a lifesaver.

I’m usual super anal about proofreading and doing my schoolwork well in advance, but when I came to Paris I promised myself (and my dad) to give myself a chance to relax, have fun and seize the moment (meaning, sightseeing, of course). However, I don’t think it works out all that much when European Professors are absolutely crazy about the amount of work they assign us!

I see from the time stamp that you finished it at 23:30, Ohio time. Having had surgery I hope you know that it’s absolutely crucial that you sleep at least eight hours a night (preferably around ten), so that your body can recover as quickly and well as possible (also, red vegetables and fruits, such as tomato, red pepper and watermelons really do help with the scarring process). I may not be panicking over your deathbed, but I can’t help feeling concern about this sort of thing. You’ll see that I can probably be worse than your mother, just ask my dad – he lives in Ohio, too.

I’m from Lima, Ohio (small world). I bolted out of there asap (as I’m sure you’ll understand), to New York. I go to Parsons. I’m in Paris for this semester, though.

I’d understand if you were to never talk to me again, especially after I asked you if you were a prostitute. For the record, it was supposed to be _just_ a joke because you’re also so approachable, I think (I hope).

With the appropriate greetings,

Kurt Hummel

-x-

**Tuesday, 14 th November, 2014 – 16:21**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Anything to keep me from dying of boredom

Kurt,

I was more than happy to help you out. It was absolutely my pleasure proofreading your essay – truly, it was interesting, and it felt a little bit like I was reading a really big Vogue article. If they ever covered the ethics of fashion, that is.

Perhaps you did not understand my current living situation. I’m forced to stay in bed the whole day, because apparently my mom thinks I’m made of really old fabric that will rip open if I move a single muscle. She will call the nurse if I so much as look like I might need a cup of water. It’s a miracle she allows me to go to the bathroom on my own, you know.

I am DYING to get out of the hospital, pun intended.

On that note, I’m not sure I should tell her about the red vegetables. Next thing I know she’ll be shoving tomatoes down my throat. And besides, scars are supposed to be super attractive, right? They give you that mysterious and rugged look…?

Don’t you worry about my sleeping habits – at this point I even take naps, if that means I get to pass time without it being unbearably slow. It’s gotten to the point where I’m tired from sleeping, you know. Is that even a real thing?

I can’t believe you’re from Lima! I’m from Westerville – just a couple of hours away, right? But at the moment I’m stuck in the pearl white halls of Columbus’ best Hospital, or so they tell me. What if I was actually abducted and experimented on and they’re just tricking me and impersonating my family? What then? Is this even a real person I’m e-mailing? What if it’s aliens?! Are you an alien, too, Kurt?

Anyway, I too have traded the boredom of Ohio for the endless energy of the city that never sleeps. Maybe when you come back from Paris, if you’re real/not an alien, we could meet and bask in the glory of NYC together – or just have a cup of coffee, you know, whatever.

Which reminds me to tell you, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about yesterday’s e-mail. If you had been as formal as expected, we wouldn’t have struck up this weird pen-pal-ish thing going on right now. I’m enjoying it; it’s keeping my days interesting! That’s worth a lot for me, right now! I might tear up, just thinking about how thankful I am.

I’m not a prostitute. In case you were still wondering. Nothing against them, I’m sure they’re very nice, giving and approachable people – such as ourselves, so it seems – but I’m just not into that line of work. I have my sex for free.

I might be a little high on painkillers right now.

If you were truly grateful you’d come break me out of the Hospital,

Blaine Anderson

2nd Year Student – Undergrad Music Major, NYU

-x-

**Tuesday, 14 th November, 2014 – 18:15**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** I’m laughing so hard right now

Dear Blaine,

That e-mail started so nice and normal, with a little side of quirky, and then it just went downhill from there. I’m so glad that I now know you have sex for free. I’m sure whoever is benefiting from that appreciates the gesture.

Also, I am a real human terrestrial person (although I can’t prove it to you, sneaky huh?), and I highly doubt you’ve been abducted by aliens (isn’t that what they want you to think, though?). But if you had, I would not rest until I uncovered all of our government secrets and saved you from the evil clutches of the little green people.

As far as attractive scars go, personally, it’s never been a big thing. I may understand the appeal, but I just find it… bleh. That’s not to say I find them unattractive. Just… mostly irrelevant. However, of course it depends on the amount of scar and where it’s located (did you like my sneaky way of asking what surgery you had? I’m still worried).

You taking painkillers means you were in pain at some point today. I hope you’re better now. Please, listen to your mother.

So far, I guess I’d love to have coffee with you… three months from now. We’ll see. Will you be high on painkillers, then? In the meantime I guess pen pals is a good thing to be. I’ve never had one, and I always say one should try everything at least once (actually, I don’t, I think that’s stupid – some things just aren’t meant to be tried EVER).

I would break you out of the Hospital but I don’t agree that you should leave,

Kurt

P.S.: I don’t have one of those fancy post-signature thingies. Should I have one?

-x-

**Wednesday, 15 th November, 2014 – 12:01**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** There were some issues with the stitches

Kurt,

I figured I’d make a fool of myself so you didn’t feel so bad about your slight moments of insanity, due to sleep deprivation.

Obviously, that’s a lie. I asked my brother to read over it and tell me if it was stupid. He fixed a couple of typos and changed a comma.

Why must my family torture me like this?

The scar is on my lower back. Let’s just say I could always pretend I had been a victim of an organ trafficking quartel, but miraculously survived to tell the story. That would get me “dark and mysterious” points, no? Can you guess what surgery I had?

What happened yesterday was minor, but the nurses seem to think I’m built like a horse and they were a little too generous with the painkillers. If I’d known I would have just told them to skip it altogether. Really, it was fine. Some stitching wasn’t holding up properly so they redid it. The doctor said I still get to go home today, so you can rest assured.

Oh my god, I’ve always thought that saying was so stupid, too! I’ve found a kindred spirit, I can’t believe it! There are so many things people should never try!

_“The defendant stands accused of grand theft auto.”_

_“I was just trying it the one time, your honor!”_

_“Oh, well, in that case you’re still going to jail. You get to try that the one time too!”_

Next time I’m high on painkillers I’m going to write a song about it!

I had a pen pal when I was thirteen, Marja. She was from Croatia. She was cool, I think. We wrote each other every month – it was a school thing, everyone in my English class had one. Mostly it was just saying things about our lifestyle and whatnot. I’m afraid to admit I’ve pretty much forgotten all about her life in Croatia, but pen pals is still a cool thing to be.

Did you see how I glossed over the free sex thing and kind of pretended it never happened,

Blaine Anderson

2nd Year Student – Undergrad Music Major, NYU

P.S.: It’s an automatic signature; I have it because this one time I forgot to sign my e-mail to a Professor and it just said “Dear Professor Something-something, Would it be possible to stay after your lecture next week to discuss my essay, seen as I can’t make your office hours due to my work-schedule?” and he replied “Dear Mr. Anderson, Yes.” And then attached a document with e-mail etiquette guidelines. I think the only thing worse than being schooled about etiquette in college, is being schooled about etiquette you already knew, but just _forgot_. I was blushing in shame for a week after that. Anyway, this is my school/work e-mail. I don’t have an automatic signature in my personal one. You do what feels right to you, I guess.

-x-

**Wednesday, 15 th November, 2014 – 18:15**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** Kidney???

Blaine,

Tell me you do not have kidney issues, because those are a PAIN to treat, and so dangerous!

If you’re having trouble with the stitches you should definitely let your mother shove tomatoes down your throat.

I think, from what little I’ve heard of them, I connect to your family on a spiritual level. Thank your brother for me…! Those were some good laughs I got there.

If you write that song be sure to dedicate it to me! I’ve never had anyone dedicate a song to me, and I think that’s one of those things people _should_ experience at least once in their lives. And I cannot believe I’ve spent this much time without asking you which instrument you play! I play a little, tiny bit of piano, and I used to sing for my school’s glee club (and now I mostly keep it to the shower and the odd karaoke night). Although, seen as you’re studying music, you probably play like 100 different instruments AND sing. Annoying.

Did Marja ever get to read a letter from you high on painkillers? She would’ve enjoyed it immensely, I believe.

I didn’t until you pointed it out,

Kurt Hummel

Fashion Extraordinaire and Future Ruler of All Things Fabulous

Currently Parsons Student

P.S.: How’s that?

P.P.S.: Professor Something-Something sounds like a pretentious dick.

-x-

**Wednesday, 15 th November, 2014 – 19:28**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** I’M GOING HOME

Kurt,

I’m so happy I could just fly away! I’m going home and my boyfriend showed up to surprise me and he’s going to be staying over helping my mom out with taking care of me and stuff and everything is just so perfect! I’ll be in my own bed! I’ll be in my own room! And if I play my cards right, I might actually get to spend a couple of hours a day on the couch or on the porch couch!!!

Quick summary, cuz I have to leave in like ten, when the doctor comes back with the papers for me to sign.

I don’t have kidney trouble. My brother, hopefully, ha **d** – past tense. I gave him my extra – they say you can live with just one, so it’s cool, don’t worry ;P

Everything so far has gone smoothly and the doctors seem super optimistic, about both of us.

I play the piano, the guitar, the violin, the harmonica, and a little bit of cello and double bass. I also sing – I used to lead the _a capella_ show choir in old my school. I’m sorry if that annoys you, but I just really, really like music. And I promise to dedicate the song to you, of course!

I’m sure Marja would’ve enjoyed it, but at the time laptops among 13-year-olds were still a rare commodity, so I never really had the chance to write to her, whilst in the Hospital, high on painkillers. By the time I got to the school computer we used for pen palling, I was sober again. However, my brother assures me I was just as hilarious then, as I am now.

The doctor has arrived with the papers!

Eeeck,

Blaine Anderson

2nd Year Student – Undergrad Music Major, NYU

P.S.: Intimidating, but charismatic. A keeper, I’d say.

P.P.S.: He SO was.

-x-

**Wednesday, 15 th November, 2014 – 20:14**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (b.d.anderson@nyu.edu)

 **Subject:** No climbing up or down stairs and take it EASY

Blaine,

I’m so glad to hear you’re going home and so excited and happy about it! I’m sorry about your brother’s troubles, but I guess good thing you were ready to give him your extra one, then! It’s not always easy finding a match for that sort of thing, so you’re both very lucky. I hope you two have a speedy and easy recovery, and I especially hope the transplant pulls through for him.

Of course you’d play the whole orchestra. Of course. Oh well, at least I’ll have someone experienced writing the very first song dedicated to me – I wouldn’t want it to be one of those lame, really simple arrangements on the guitar or something. It should be explosive and dramatic, such as myself (no pressure).

Westerville and _a capella_ equals The Warblers. What year were you lead for them? We may have competed against each other! I was in the New Directions, and we went up against you guys in my junior and senior year (I’m not gonna lie, we crossed paths with two very distinct soloists and only one of them was a dignified competitor – I hope you’re the right one, or none at all)!

My dad swears he’s never laughed harder than when he took me to the dentist when I was six and they doped me up real nice. We seem to have yet another thing in common: hilarity as high children (also, my worry heightens, exactly how often were you high on painkillers when you were a kid?!).

Have a safe trip home,

Kurt Hummel

Fashion Extraordinaire and Future Ruler of All Things Fabulous

Currently Parsons Student

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Thursday, 16 th November, 2014 – 09:19**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Home Sweet Home

Dear Kurt,

You cannot imagine how much of a relief it is to be home. My mother still refuses to let me out of bed (I’ve negotiated bathroom rights, of course, but that’s about it), but I now have a proper television where I can binge re-watch Gilmore Girls, and did I mention the boyfriend? Thank god! He compensates for my overbearing mother so beautifully because at least he doesn’t treat me like an invalid right now! Woohoo!

Of course it’s sill a little bit frustrating, because I’m not used to lying still this long, and the whole thing is actually starting to give me insomnias. But even I’ll admit this is the best way to ensure everything goes right with the healing, and the faster I heal the faster I go back to NY. And I guess I can understand why my mom would act like that – it’s not like she’s had a lot of opportunities to fuss over me since I moved out to college, and I miss them, too, you know. Dad might not be as vocal as her about it, but I can tell he’s happier now that I’m here for a little while.

I _wish_ I played the whole orchestra! Either way, rest assured your song will be abundant with drama and good old-fashioned flare. I wouldn’t have it any other way, either.

I sang lead in 2011, and I split the lead with another guy in 2012, and sang lead alone again in 2013. We tied with the New Directions in 2011, Sectionals, but you won fair and square the Regionals; and also the 2012 Sectionals. 2013 we didn’t go up against you, though. I hope I’m the right one – I have dark hair and I’ve been told I make weird faces when I sing. I must admit I only remember a tiny girl with a phenomenal voice, the blonde girl and the Asian boy dancers, and that giant guy who couldn’t really dance.

With so much in common I’m starting to think fate brought us together to be the perfect pen pals.

I can’t give you a specific number of times I was hospitalized or put under anesthesia, but you don’t need to worry, I’m super healthy, even without my spare kidney.

Can you tell my mood as improved exponentially?,

Blaine

(No fancy post signature here because this is my personal e-mail)

-x-

**Thursday, 16 th November, 2014 – 12:59**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** You’re the right one!

Blaine,

I cannot believe we actually competed against each other! 2012 was my senior year! I was stupefied when I noticed you guys had given that other meerkat-faced guy an entire song (and the fact that that talentless guy had a solo only made me even more enraged at our teacher, who refused to give me a solo or even just acknowledge my existence after three years of unyielding loyalty to the New Directions – I do not blame you for not remembering any other of us, since we were all props in the Rachel show). Your second soloist had such a nasal, childish voice, and he was so crude with his dance moves. They should’ve just stuck with you. If I remember correctly, you had effortless charisma, and your faces were silly, but endearing and kind of charming. (This is so insane! I can’t believe I’m about to say such a cliché but: SMALL WORLD!)

You should definitely cut your mom some slack. I know that whenever I do go back home my dad and my stepmom just keep fussing and fussing over me and how “skinny” I am. Which I’m not, but I might as well let them do it. God knows I miss them everyday. New York wasn’t all that difficult, because it was the same time-zone, so I could always call them on Skype and we’d all cook dinner together, or something. But when I came to Paris, the first month was horrible – we couldn’t get our timetables to match and I’d go days without talking to them. Eventually I just developed a terrible case of insomnia, and started talking to them before their dinner (midnight over here, or something).

 _Gilmore Girls_. Jess or Dean or Logan? This is a test.

You recovering so well means no more painkiller highs? (I’m trying to believe you when you tell me you’re healthy, but it’s like you’re saying yes with your words and shaking your head no).

My roommate is clipping his toenails right in front of me, on his unmade bed and I don’t think he’s going to pick them up and throw them out,

Kurt Hummel

Fashion Extraordinaire and Future Ruler of All Things Fabulous

Currently Parsons Student

-x-

**Friday, 17 th November, 2014 – 20:42**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Hello?

Hi,

It’s not that you have to answer every e-mail I send right away, or at all. But I’m a tiny bit worried. Did something happen? Or did I say something stupid? Is meerkat face actually your boyfriend and high school sweetheart?

Please let it be something I said.

Just let me know if you’re okay,

Kurt

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th November, 2014 – 21:36**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** my life would make a movie right now

Dear Kurt,

I’m sorry to have worried you. I should’ve just sent you a quick e-mail telling you I was fine, but otherwise occupied.

The truth, though, is that I’m not entirely fine.

It’s funny you should mention Sebastian (meerkat face) at this point in my life because it just goes to show that I should never be allowed to choose my own boyfriends. At the time you saw us on stage Sebastian had recently broken up with me, because, and I quote “I got the solo, so… you know… whatever.”

Of course, that is small potatoes when compared to the cold dish I was served on Thursday.

I had just taken a nap and I woke up needing to pee. But because I was so groggy from sleep and some meds and I thought it was better if someone helped me out of bed, and as such I requested my boyfriend to help me get to the bathroom and he just freaked. Like, totally, full scale freaked! He just started on and on about how he couldn’t be with someone this needy, couldn’t spend his life taking care of me, didn’t understand my need to always be together… Suffice to say, he broke up with me and bolted out the door and my family, who had just met him for the first time, got to see the show, too.

Now, of course I could’ve just sat quietly, let it sink in and then calmly go about my business of telling him he’s full of shit via e-mail or text message, but noooo. Blaine Anderson had to go after him, to throw a pair of sneakers at his head, and proceed to rip his sutures open.

I am so stupid, Kurt…

Don’t worry, they sew the thing back up and I only sprained my wrist when I dropped to the ground howling in pain. I didn’t even spend the night in the Hospital, although my mother might never let me out of the house again, after that.

I feel like I should make it very clear that I am not needy, nor do I need him to take care of me, nor do I need us to always be together, you know. What happened was that before I came home for the surgery I asked him if I could stay with him, in his apartment, for a little while until I could find a new one. I thought that, since we’d been together for a year and he knew how I didn’t like my current living arrangements _at all_ , it was a reasonable request. I wasn’t even asking to move in with him – it’d be just for a couple of weeks, you know. And he said he’d think about it, and that was that. I never even pressed the issue.

Now, I’ll admit I’m a big romantic gesture kind of guy and I might even be the exact opposite of a commitment-phobic – as opposed to him, apparently – but I know the line between those things and needy/overbearing/clingy and, for the most part, I stopped crossing that line after high school.

And what pisses me off the most is that, after all of the crap he’s pulled over the year we were together, which was a lot, he was still the one breaking up with me. I feel like he took away my absolute right to do it!

I’m not even sad. I’m just angry and frustrated. And now my best friend is going to tell me _I told you so_ about a gazillion times.

Disregard this e-mail and I will answer your last one properly in a couple of hours,

Blaine

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th November, 2014 – 22:02**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I will not disregard it!

Oh my god, Blaine, I’m so sorry that happened to you!

I mean, I know there are always two sides to every story and blah blah blah, but I know **you** (well, kind of) and I’m nothing if not loyal, so I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: that guy was a jerk to you. And I agree that you deserved the chance to be the one breaking up.

I know that you’re a music student, so you’re probably all hipster and pretentious with the kind of music you listen to, but I’m just gonna go right ahead and advise you to listen to the following five songs on repeat for the next couple of days:

Number One: Miss Beyoncé Knowles with the timeless Me, Myself and I. I cannot stress the importance of this song when dealing with a break up, or even when growing up and building your own character. Its strength is just so inspiring.

Number Two: Also Beyoncé (maybe you should just listen to her entire discography and be done with it), Best Thing I Never Had. Now, I understand you actually had him, and he had you, but just add “for longer than I did” and you’re good to go.

Number Three: From the almost-gone-but-look-she-came-back-but-not-really Christina Aguilera we have the powerful, gritty, and self-assertive Fighter.

Number Four: Perhaps the most famous and most fabulous post-breakup song ever, we could never ignore Gloria Gaynor’s classic I Will Survive (and one would **not** understand if the likes of you snobby music students would want one of those mellow, depressing covers over the original – the power is in the rhythm, the voice and… well, the panache).

Number Five: Just to spring a little testosterone into the mix (but not too much, because otherwise it can shock the system), we got Justin Timberlake’s What Comes Around/Goes Around.

As for your best friend. If he really told you so, then, well… it’s his right.

Men are pigs,

Kurt Hummel

(Now I feel douchey keeping my post signature in my personal e-mail, when you don’t have one too)

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th November, 2014 – 22:25**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Shouldn’t you be sleeping by now?

Hey Kurt,

Thanks so much for the support – especially taking into account that you barely know me, so for all you know I could be the douchebag in the relationship. I’m not, though. I mean, it takes two to tango, and I have my faults and made my mistakes, but the biggest one was thinking we had a future together and fighting for it. I should’ve just let go a long time ago, you know. He’d be happier, I’d be happier… Alas, it is what it is.

Having said that, I resent the implication that I’m a hipster, or pretentious or anything of the sorts. I’ll have you know that when I was thirteen I wrote a passionate proposal for Mr. Timberlake and sometimes I still mean it. Like with his new album. Ugh… he’s just the prettiest.

Anyway, that selection was perfect, and you can rest assured it is definitely part of my slightly wider post-breakup playlist. And of course I listen to the original I Will Survive! Blasphemy to assume otherwise!

The best friend is coming especially from New York tomorrow for a day of movies, music and junk food. We’ll see if he exercises his right, but I kind of hope not. I love him, I don’t want to punch him in the nose.

If I close my eyes and meditate I can kind of remember who you might be from the first and second show choir performances. Assuming you weren’t the one with the Mohawk, I guess tall-ish, slim, brown hair, good dancer and really pale? The lights were so bright they just bounced off of you. :P

(Gilmore Girls! Upon re-watching things may be changing, but) It used to be a tie between Dean and Logan,

Blaine

P.S.: if it’s true and feels right, why not? Don’t let go of something you like because I don’t have one either.

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th November, 2014 – 22:51**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I told you I have insomnia

Blaine,

I might not have been in my right mind the other night, but that was because I was writing essays as well as staying up. Both things may defeat my sanity, but each separately is cool beans. No, but seriously, like I said, when I came to Paris I developed insomnia. It’s okay, because I never have classes in the morning, and my roommate sleeps like a log and never complains about me giggling in the wee hours of the morning while I binge watch Project Runway and the designs are horrendous. And then I can just sleep in in the morning.

I think it was a mix of homesickness and Paris not being all that I’d hoped it was, and then I just couldn’t shake it off.

Besides, I’m kind of afraid of falling asleep before the roommate. He only ever wears flip flops (in Paris, where it’s _this_ close to snowing right now!) and he just knits _a lot_. I just can’t trust someone like that.

You have a post-breakup playlist, too? I’m addicted to mine even though I only broke up twice in my life and both times were ridiculously peaceful. The truth is that I just love the empowerment in those songs, and I’ll be dammed to be deprived from it just because the men in _my_ life aren’t complete pigs. I know they’re out there and I’m just practicing.

I’m also very glad to hear you’re not a pretentious douchebag. I once dated a cinema student (couple of dates, doesn’t count as a breakup) and he was the most obnoxious person I’d ever met. I mean the first date was kind of sexy, his whole “I know so many directors and films and David Lynch is my soul mate, blah blah blah” but by the second date I just couldn’t take it anymore. He was insulting Breakfast at Tiffany’s. BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S. That film is an institution. I could take him badmouthing The Notebook, because all romance aside, I mean… I know it’s not the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever, but one does not insult Audrey EVER.

Anyway, I’m so glad you’re not like him (as far as music is concerned). And besides, it was like he couldn’t talk about anything other than films (which, we’ve established you can), it just gets boring after a while.

Oh, you’re making fun of my complexion? Tell me, Blaine, do you still wear an entire jar of gel on your head, or was that just to blind the judges with the lights reflecting off your gelmet so they couldn’t see the funny faces? (You keep using smileys, and I keep trying to ignore them, thinking it may just be a typo. But it’s not, right?)

I'll accept that answer,

K.H.

(What about like that? You know… simple but kind of mysterious?)

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th November, 2014 – 23:30**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Ryan Gosling is a cinematic masterpiece all on his own

Kurt,

Maybe you just need to start rearranging your sleep pattern? Seriously it can’t be healthy staying up so late. Are _you_ getting the recommended eight hours of sleep? Do _I_ have to fuss over you? I can, too, you know. I’m an excellent fusser.

Never trust anyone that wears flip-flops outside of a swimming pool or a beach. Isn’t he waking up before you do, though? Aren’t you giving him the chance to murder you in your sleep with the neck noose he’s so clearly knitting for said purpose in the morning?

My (soon to be ex)-roommate also wears flip-flops a lot (sometimes he varies to the ugliest sneakers in the world) and he can’t be trusted. He eats everything. And I mean, especially everything that I bought for my own consumption and labeled as such. I hate him. I detest him with the power of a thousand suns. I hate, hate, hate him. I sometimes dream of attending his funeral crying happy tears, and then I always cry sad tears when I wake up and it’s not true.

If you want, if we ever meet, I can break up with you in a really dramatic, pig fashion, just so you can burst out into song and own up to the true potential and power inside of you.

I promise I’m nothing like that horrible, horrible person. I love Audrey Hepburn. I love the Notebook – and pretty much anything starring Ryan Gosling, actually – and I actually dislike Mulholland Drive. I respect different tastes, but that film just does not make a stitch of sense. And the other two make so much sense my heart sings every time I watch them. Especially when Ryan takes his shirt off.

You’ve never seen my hair without gel. It’s frizzy and horrible and ridiculous.

The emoticons are cute and meant to clue you in to the fact that I’m just playfully teasing and not serious. As in, I wasn’t actually making fun of your complexion. I think it’s cute.

I just never really got Jess’s whole bad boy allure thing and upon rewatching he still treats Rory like shit so...,

Blaine

(I kind of like it, not gonna lie)

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th November, 2014 – 23:43**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** going to bed after this one

Blaine,

My current sleep schedule works fine. I don’t need to readjust anything. This way, when I come back to NY, I won’t have any jetlag.

However, I had not considered that. But it’s been a while now and he hasn’t tried to kill me. Besides, his knitting looks kind of like a really ugly cardigan. I’ll be fine.

You speak worse of your ex-roommate than you did of the guy that just dumped you in cold blood (while you were an invalid!). You really, really hate the guy, don’t you?

That’s the nicest offer anyone has ever made me! I could hug you right now! YES, PLEASE! But I have to be the one doing the breakup (no offense). Just take me to a restaurant and then confess to cheating on me (after I confront you, of course) and beg for forgiveness, and then let me throw a drink in your face and yell profanities at you before storming out. That would be so cool!

I like it when Ryan takes his shirt off, too, but I’ll admit, I’m a romantic at heart. I prefer it when his shirt is all wet and see-through and you can see his biceps flexing as he holds Rachel McAdams and they kiss in the rain (it’s just so romantic) and I wish that was my life (minus the Alzheimer part, of course).

SO YOU STILL USE THE GEL????

No. Just no. I mean, I _am_ cute, but no smileys.

Dean had it in just the right amount too (leather jackets are about as hot as the bad boy thing gets for me), why bring in Jess? Ugh. And then they kind of ruined Dean with the whole jealousy and stupid marriage and cheating on his wife thing. But then Logan was just like… so sophisticated, and at the same time so sweet, but also kind of… you know, interesting in that imperfect kind of way, whatever. But also, sometimes I can see why so many people hate him - he does ooze privilege. I’m just gonna stop before I write you a book on Gilmore Girls.

In that case,

K.H.

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th November, 2014 – 23:45**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I just watched Rory and Dean’s first kisssss!  <3

Hey Kurt,

Last one of the day for me, too!

Well, I’m not sure jetlag works that way, but if you’re hopeful… I guess. But also, cutting back on all that precious morning sun ain’t gonna help you either, Casper (I would put an emoticon here, so you’d know I’m just kidding, but I heard you don’t like them).

Listen, I’ve cut back on the gel, I swear, but I still use it. The hair isn’t glued to the head as it used to be, and I’m learning to embrace the waves, but I just can’t forego it completely, otherwise I’ll turn into medusa or something, you know. I shudder at the thought.

The soon-to-be-ex-roommate once ate an entire jar of mayonnaise. By the spoonful. The jar was mine, btw, and I wish this was just a Notting Hill reference, but it happened. (Obviously this is not why I want to get away from him, but I thought it had a humorous quality to it)

I can absolutely do that for you, but it’ll have to be in the summer, so that I don’t catch a cold from the drink in my face – and maybe if it could be something like a good scotch or, you know, a nice cocktail, I’d appreciate it. I love piña coladas.

Also, I am not an invalid. My mother even lets me stroll around the house now!

Oh, yes. _That_ part of the romance. I know it well, too. I dream about it often. I cry happy tears, then, too.

Despite evidence to the contrary I’m not actually this shallow,

Blaine

(Have you by any chance noticed that you’re addicted to parenthesis and that your addiction is rubbing off on me?)

-x-

**Sunday, 19 th November, 2014 – 13:25**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** (I’m not addicted, It’s completely under control)

Bonjour Blaine,

I hope today finds you well. How are the strolls around the house, then?

I can forgive you for the Casper thing, because Casper was adorable and he was one of my childhood heroes (and before you say anything, yes it was because I saw myself in him, shut up).

I guess a little bit of product never hurt anyone (au contraire, it usually helps a lot), but I’ll have to see for myself once I return to the dear old states. If it’s still a ridiculous abuse of product I beg of you to let me help you find the appropriate products and style.

Oh. My. God. Who eats an entire jar of mayonnaise???

I’ve just realized that this is becoming a very unbalanced friendship. You’ve proofread my essay, you promised to write me a song whilst high on painkillers, and now you’ve also agreed to let me break up with you in a public spectacle? I think I’m going to keep you.

I think everyone’s a little bit shallow after a break up, Blaine, you’re allowed. How are you on that front, by the way?

Dean and Rory’s first kiss was my fantasy first kiss for years,

K.H.

(The same way you’re addicted to short sentences and “you know”, you mean?)

-x-

**Sunday, 19 th November, 2014 – 15:53**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I am? Holy shit, I never noticed!

BONJOUR KURT,

Hi! I’m swell today! I had breakfast at the dining table, and then I went for a lovely stroll around the house, and then I stayed in the living room with my brother, who got discharged from the hospital with very positive feedback, and we played some Monopoly and I won (he’s frivolous in his spending, no concept of a long game whatsoever. (see? Ugh.)), and then I had lunch, again at the dining table with everyone else, and now I’m back in bed, but any moment now Wes, the best friend, is going to come and all will be well! (That was a long ass sentence, I have no idea what you’re talking about)

Casper is adorable. You must’ve been adorable. I’m imagining a cute little Kurt with perfect hair and nose pressed against the TV screen, eager to feel accepted in a world of tanned skin.

I don’t make any promises of letting you touch my hair, because last time I checked, despite the fact that I didn’t really check, you were still studying fashion design and not hairdressing, you know (!!!! I am!). However, I remember you having nice hair, so I’ll hear you out and then we’ll see.

Do you understand now why I wanted to leave that house even if it meant staying with the boyfriend for a couple of weeks till I managed to find a new place? Also, he never cleans anything, he's loud, obnoxious and likes to use my stuff like it's no biggie (including stuff like my razor, and even underwear that has since ceased to be my underwear). I could not deal with the prospect of another year having to share a house with that psycho. That being said, it’s officially **ex** -roommate because my parents have taken pity on me and let me go find another place to live and they’ll cover the extra rent until I find a new roommate. You don’t happen to have fashion friends that need a place to live and don’t eat other people’s mayonnaise by the spoonful, do you?

Oh! About the song! That reminds me, I have the lyrics down, because, you know… breakup and throwing sneakers at his head and falling on my ass. It does call for a significant amount of painkillers. But I’m still working on the melody – I got the basics down, but so far only piano, because it’s a little challenging to play anything else without hurting myself a little, tiny bit. Wes is coming this afternoon and I’ll enlist his help with the song (he was a warbler too).

I think I’m better than I thought I’d be. I’m just a little sad to see a lot of effort going down the drain, you know, but I’m also a little relieved. I’m afraid to admit that at this point I was staying with him mostly out of misguided pride than love. I think I stopped loving him a long time ago, actually. Maybe. I don’t know… who cares?

Did the first kiss live up to the expectations?,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 19 th November, 2014 – 19:39**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I so was super cute!

Hi yourself!

That e-mail was so cheerful and then ended on a bittersweet note, I’m sorry I brought up the subject if it upset you. But also, “you know”, in case you want to talk to someone who won’t tell you “I told you so” like this Wes person, you can.

Anyway, I’m so happy you’ve been doing so well, maybe in two days you’ll be walking around the block, heh? And tell Wes I say hi, even though I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me.

About your housing troubles, does it have to be a fashion friend? Because I got a good friend of mine, from high school, that’s moving in with her boyfriend, and they did fall in love with a charming apartment (or so she tells me), but it has an extra bedroom and the only way they could afford it would be with an extra someone (and yet they’re still renting it and just looking desperately for someone to magically appear before rent is due next month). She goes to NYU, too, so it can’t be very far away from your campus and I promise they’re wonderful people and they’ve been dating for a lifetime, and they hardly ever fight and they’re very sensible about pda and stuff like that. You wouldn’t feel like a third wheel at all! So, if you want, her e-mail is tina_cc94@gmail.com and I promise she’d be thrilled if you contacted her.

I can’t believe you’re actually writing the song. Every time I think about that I can’t help laughing! My cheeks are going to fall out from laughing/smiling so much and then I won’t be cute anymore!

I would understand the difficulty of letting go of something you worked very hard for, even though you know you don’t want it anymore. Before Parsons I auditioned for NYADA – I didn’t get in on the first try, but I insisted so much they gave me a shot at a second audition and I got in. I went through the whole semester before I was able to admit to myself that I wasn’t enjoying it. I quit, and applied for Parsons, and here I am. It’s no broken heart, but I did have to throw the towel on something that had meant so much to me. I wasn’t exactly heartbroken or devastated, I was just disappointed. Is that how you feel about the ex?

My first kiss did NOT live up to the expectations all three times I had it. My technical first kiss was with a girl, when I was trying to prove to myself and my dad that I was straight, and it doesn’t count because it was with a girl and there were zero feelings behind it and it was just weird (I’m not straight, I never was, I despise that week immensely). My second kiss was a horror story of a closeted bullying homophobe grabbing my face and forcing himself on me before I could push him away – so it doesn’t count because it wasn’t consensual and it was disgusting. My third first kiss was in the movies on a first date, and I have no excuses for why it doesn’t count, but I kind of really wanted to watch the movie and the guy wouldn’t stop trying to make out.

Quid pro quo?,

K.H.

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 13:03**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Wes said hi back

Kurt,

Thank you, you’re so sweet to say that. I really like this new friendship I found on accident, you know? You actually understood exactly what I was trying to say – I’m just disappointed it ended and so much effort was put to waist, but I’m also relieved it did. And if your cheeks fall off and you become super ugly I’ll go study prosthetics and make you prosthetic cheeks so you can be cute again.

The day with Wes was pretty good, and he didn’t say I told you so. He just looked at me like he might say it, but then didn’t. Instead he joined me in trash talking. We watched a lot of TV and ate some junk food. He had to go back because he still has classes and “cheering up wounded bff after breakup” isn’t exactly a reasonable excuse to skip school, but the day put me in a much better mood!

What do you mean you got into NYADA? I thought you said you only sang back up, and in the shower and stuff. I mean, NYADA’s pretty damn hard to get into. Major kudos for that! Maybe I should be writing us a duet!

Holy hell, those were some lousy first kisses. My first kiss was okay, I guess. I was sixteen, Sebastian was charming (although really he was smarmy), confident (that is to say arrogant) and a good seducer (manipulative, I mean). If it hadn’t been with Sebastian I would be way fonder of it, to tell you the truth. It’s actually one of those cutesy stories, where he took me to the back of the library and pretended to be looking for a book and then just sprung it on me. And thus started our torrid love affair that left me jaded and bitter (I’m kidding, it didn’t, I still believe in the power and magic of love and stuff).

I’M GOING TO E-MAIL YOUR FRIEND RIGHT NOW THANK YOU YOU ARE A LIFE SAVER.

You have paid your dues in our friendship,

Blaine

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 13:33**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** tina_cc94@gmail.com

 **Subject:** Apartment sharing

Hello,

My name is Blaine Anderson and our mutual friend Kurt Hummel told me that you’re looking for someone to share an apartment with. If you still haven’t found the right person I’d like to put in an application.

I’m fairly tidy, I don’t live dirty clothes lying around, I like to cook (although, fair warning, some of my experiments are not so good), and I don’t stay up, or wake up at ungodly hours. I have a flat screen most people seem to think is pretty cool, and a top of the line stereo system that I’d be more than happy to bring along with me, among other things.

The downsides are that I’m a music major, so along with me would come a handful of instruments that I would probably play often and I sing and need to practice daily. I’m also one of those people prone to binge watching TV shows every once in a while, but I don’t mind company or suggestions for new shows.

I’m not in NY at the moment, because I’ve had to come home (Ohio) for a little bit to have some minor surgery, but I’ll be back at the end of next week at the latest – hopefully much sooner. If we did agree on sharing the apartment I’d bee more than happy chipping in for rent this month, or maybe even the deposit, if you have to pay one.

I also go to NYU, by the way!

Let me know if you’d be interested in sharing the apartment and, if you are, send me a couple of photos of the place and the info regarding address and rent so I can also make an informed decision.

Sincerely,

Blaine Anderson

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 13:45**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: Apartment Sharing

 **Attachments:** Info.pdf, apart-photos.zip

Hi!

I’m Tina, but you probably know that! I’m so glad Kurt gave you my contact, then. You sound nice enough, for now, but I’m going to have to follow up and ask Kurt for the dirty details ;P

Oh my god! A music major sounds perfect right now! My boyfriend Mike is a dance student at Julliard. I’m haven’t declared a major yet, but I also have a passion for music and performing – even though I’m slowly discovering the wonder of Literature, so I’ve also been toying with the idea of Lit major. On the other hand I think Women’s Studies might also be pretty cool, right?

Anyway, you can check out all the stuff for yourself, but the apartment is the perfect location, and it’s amazing and perfect and I never want to live anywhere else. Mike and I signed off on it last Friday, but we can’t move in until next week, so hopefully you’d be back by then. Assuming you say yes and Kurt says you’re cool.

I hope whatever it was you had surgery for you’re recovering well.

Hug,

Tina

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 13:49**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Blaine Anderson

Hi!

How are you since we last week?

Tell me about Blaine. Am I going to like living with him? How well do you know him?

Hit me back asap.

Xoxo

Tinaa

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 14:13**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Blaine is the sweetest

So far…

I’ll admit, I haven’t met him in person, and I haven’t known him that long. He accidentally sent me an e-mail that was meant for a professor and I was high on insomnia at the time and not in my right mind – so naturally I replied like I was replying to you or Rachel or whatever, and somehow we miraculously struck up some sort of pen-palish friendship.

But seriously, Tina, keep him. Here’s what you need to know: When I told him I was pulling an all nighter for an essay he offered to proofread it (and he did, and it saved my life) after “knowing” me for less than a day. He’s currently working on writing a song dedicated to me about how trying everything at least once is a stupid way of life. He promised me he would let me break up with him with spectacle and panache in public once I’m back, just so I can say I’ve had one dramatic breakup in my life.

Also, he’s recovering from a very selfless surgery (ask him about it because I don’t know if that’s a private thing for him or not) and his boyfriend just broke up with him in the most assholish way (don’t tell him I told you that because I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want me telling you this), and also the roommate he’s trying to get rid of is a horror show. So you see, he deserves it.

And cherry on top of the cake: he’s from Westerville, Ohio, and he was lead of The Warblers and we actually competed in 2011 and 2012 (in case you’re wondering he was the good one).

Seriously, though, I know I could easily be mistaken, but I don’t think I am. He’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever quasi-met.

Tight hug and wishes good luck,

K.H.

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 14:36**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I sold you to Tina real pretty

Heya,

You can thank me once you’re living in your brand new apartment, with your lovely brand new roommates.

Also, thank you for your dedication to keeping me cute (even though you barely now what I look like and for all you know I could fugly), and if need be, I’ll cherish and wear those prosthetics with pride.

I think it’s adorable that your BFF went out of his way to spend whatever time he could spend helping cheer you up!

Are you jealous? Did *you* not get in NYADA? I’m being mean, ignore me. But yes, I know fully well what it meant getting in and that’s why it was so hard saying no. And just because I stick to shower and karaoke nowadays doesn’t mean my voice isn’t still fabulous, and it is. We can write a duet, together, once I come back. After the breakup. I could also use the experience of a dramatic reunion.

That first kiss story had lot of parenthesis, are you addicted, too?

Sebastian sounds like an ass. He sang like an ass, too. I’m so sorry you had to date him (but the kiss does sound like a nice first kiss, even if its memory was later tarnished by the assholiness).

Another question, because I’m a curious cutie patootie and I like this friendship thing we got going on too so I’m trying to get to know you, your worst date?

Let me know how the housing thing turns out,

K.H.

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 15:30**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** tina_cc94@gmail.com

 **Subject:** The Apartment looks perfect

Hi Tina!

I hear Kurt gave you a glowing recommendation on my behalf. Fair warning: we’ve never met in person and we’re trying out the pen-pals thing. But whatever he said, as long as it was nice, I stand by it.

Having seen the pictures, the localization and the price I seriously need to get a move on with my recovery because I actually want to move in yesterday. That is, of course, if you’ll have me as your roommate.

Once I know you better I can maybe give you some advice on your major, but you’re right, Lit and WS are really interesting choices. But you know, you want to be sure to choose something you’re absolutely head over heels passionate about.

Anyway, bottom line is – let me know if Kurt’s words were enough to convince you guys, because I am totally sold! If you wanted we could talk over Skype, just so you can make sure I’m not a crazy old man or anything.

Hug,

Blaine

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 15:45**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I really hope you’re a good salesman

Kurt,

That house is perfect, oh my god! :)))))))

I sort of remember you from the show choir competitions, so I know you’re absolutely not fugly. And you’re in fashion, so at least you probably dress well and have style and I think that that’s 70% of the work towards being cute. But I could always ask my new roommate Tina! :P

I did not apply to NYADA. I understand the prestige, and I appreciate Broadway as much as any New Yorker, but it’s not what I want, ultimately. I want to make my own music, and I don’t want to be constricted to performing the same show day after day for months. I need movement and ever-shifting dynamics in my life.

I have no problem with adding a dramatic and passionate make up reunion to our deal. However, it will have to be in the rain. That’s my only demand. I may settle for lawn sprinklers, but we’ll see.

You’re ruining me with your addiction of parenthesis, I told you.

I’m laughing so hard, right now. Sebastian _was_ an ass! But, for the record, I don’t exactly regret dating him. He didn’t break my heart, so much as he broke my childish illusion of what I thought love was.

_Cutie patootie_

My worst date? Wow, you don’t spare any punches, do you? Let me see. First week in New York, I let my stupid roommate set me up on a blind date with his “cool gay friend”, so he could prove he was okay with the gay thing. The cool gay friend was one of those obnoxious vegan activists/environmentalists, I spent the whole time being lectured – the environment, the poor enslaved children that made my “fancy” clothes, the living conditions of the chicken I ordered. All the while, his clothes were yellowed not by design, his hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in days, and he smelled like old sweat.

But the worst part was having to see him when he came over to visit my jackass roommate (who also had a tendency to skip baths, but not out of passion for the causes, if you ask me) and feel his glare digging into the back of my neck while I sat there with my ham sandwich and my Vogue magazine.

Quid pro quo,

Blaine

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 15:50**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: The Apartment looks perfect

Hi Blaine,

Are you free today for that Skype?

Mike and I are hanging out at my soon to be ex-room, so you can call whenever – tina.c.chang

Kurt’s glowing recommendation had me sold, but I think it’d be a super idea to meet over Skype especially because I need to see for myself that I might come to live with the lead soloist of the Warblers, because if it is true, then I’m completely mindfucked.

See you soon,

Tina

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 15:55**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** We’re gonna talk via Skype

But I’m pretty sure he’s moving in with us! :D

Your story is so cute! You should make a move on him! It’d be so romantic!

Xoxo

Tina

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 16:54**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Don’t be silly

I’m in Paris.

(I’ll admit that’s my only argument against your stupid idea. But it’s a really good argument)

Let me know if I was a good matchmaker, though.

Xo

K.H.

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 19:42**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Kurt!

1) He’s perfect and sweet and nice and I think we’ll be such good friends thank you so much for introducing us!

2) He’s definitely getting the room!

3) Mike loved him, too.

4) I can’t believe he’s recovering from giving his brother a kidney, that’s so sweet!

5) I can’t believe his boyfriend broke up with him. Jackass.

6) He’s FUCKING gorgeous, Kurt. Like. Wow. Seriously, Kurt. He’s so gorgeous that you being in Paris shouldn’t be a valid argument. He’s so gorgeous that you need to get on a plane, go to his house and seduce him.

7) THANK YOU FOREVER

8) Bye, hugs and kisses,

9) Tina.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 20:03**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** eternal gratitude

Thank you,

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you,

T.Y.

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 20:04**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** stop it

Seriously. Stop it. You’re going to put ideas in my head.

I’m in Paris.

Stop it.

I hope you’ll be the best of roommates.

Xo

K.H

-x-

**Monday, 20 th November, 2014 – 22:36**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** quid pro quo, remember?

It was all I could do after all you’ve done/promised to do for me.

Blaine! Honestly! Of _course_ our dramatic make up reunion _has_ to be in the rain, Notebook style, are you kidding me? Lawn sprinklers will not do. Nothing less than pouring rain.

That’s the thing about me, Blaine. I never settle.

Oh, god. The childish misconceptions of love! How I remember those, and how glad I am they’re far behind me, just thinking about it makes me want to dig a hole.

If I had been set up on a date with that person I would’ve turned around on the spot and went home. Blaine, I really do think you’re too nice/polite for your own good, and now that I have already profited from it I can definitely advise you to stop being that way or one day you’ll get robbed (in a metaphoric sense) (although one can’t exclude the possibility of you being literally robbed as well).

My worst date happened when I went back home for the Holidays, first year out of Ohio, and I ran into the closeted homophobic bully who’d kissed me, and he wasn’t closeted or homophobic or a bully anymore, so I agreed to have coffee with him the next day to “catch up” even though I kind of felt a vibe (and that’s the reason I consider this a “date” – it was one for him and I kind of knew it even if I didn’t really want to admit it)... During coffee he told me he was in love with me, and had been forever, and then it was just super awkward. I mean, he was mostly sweet (and not as horrible as I remembered him being from the years of terror), but he was still the worst thing about high school for me, and I just couldn’t! I should never have agreed to coffee. I think it’s nice that people can grow and change and maybe even come full circle, but there was just too much water under that bridge and I ended up giving him false hope the one time he actually didn’t deserve it. He was so heartbroken… I felt guilty for weeks.

What’s your fondest childhood memory?

You’re truly welcome,

K.H.

-x-

**Tuesday, 21 st November, 2014 – 15:13**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’m getting my stitches out tomorrow

Hi Kurt,

Maybe they’ll give me painkillers and I’ll be struck with inspiration and finish the song.

I think it’s a great thing you don’t settle. I guess that’s why you knew when to quit NYADA, and are now happily studying fashion design in Paris.

There are days when I know you’re right, Kurt, I really do. I know I’m a little too nice. But it’s not like I forget all about myself or anything, you know? I’m not a doormat and I still have a personality and my own interests and I do things for myself as well – it’s just that I sometimes go that extra mile when I really didn’t have to, and… you know, is that so bad?

I’ll admit it: I want people to like me, is that crazy? I mean, I know it’s not crazy – everyone wants to be liked (It’s not like I’m Monica Geller or anything… I think…). I guess I wish I depended less on it than I actually do, but if I said I did I’d be lying. I kind of grew up with the, perhaps misguided, understanding that the best way to make people notice and like you was to be nice to them and make sure you were a positive thing about their lives - even if I never realized I should expect that to be returned as well.

Besides, you’re talking to someone who went through most of his high school on good terms with 99% of the student and faculty bodies despite being openly gay in Ohio, so it’s not like it’s the worst thing I could’ve done for myself. And, you know, I definitely don’t regret helping you out, for instance. I’ll gladly accept getting taken advantage of a few times (and it really doesn’t happen very often) if it means every once in a while getting a new friend out of it.

In the end my dedication to others is all about self-preservation, so I guess that does make me selfish or at least self-centered. Okay, okay, I’m exaggerating. It’s hardly _all_ about that… but still.

Sigh… I don’t know. Moving on.

I think that guy should’ve known better than to put that on you. Did he really think you could return his feelings? What was he trying to accomplish – a relationship built on shame, guilt and pity? Obviously I don’t know what happened between you guys in high school, but I imagine it doesn’t start or end with that kiss, so I think it was just really unfair of him to put you in that position where you had to be the “douchebag” that told him that all the soul searching, change and forgiveness in the world can’t make the past go away. It makes me a little angry when people put unreasonable expectations on others.

Fond memories of my childhood… wow, there a lot of good ones (and a lot of bad ones, too, I guess). But I’d have to say the day that my brother officially went into remission after endless years of leukemia. I can’t remember everything about it because I was a kid, but I know that it was one of the happiest days in my family’s life, as well as mine – it was the first time I saw someone (my parents) cry of happiness and I remember thinking they were very beautiful then.

I’m sorry about such a heavy and kind of depressing e-mail. I guess it’s just one of those days, you know? Yesterday was so cool I was completely caught off guard when I woke up this morning and I still had stitches and I still had to sit really still and I was still in Ohio. I don’t know… my parents had to go into work today, Cooper is back at his place, and Wes had to go back to NY cuz he had classes, so I’m alone and bored and desperate to get out.

Anyway, I request that you lighten up my day by telling me all about your embarrassing childish love – the one you wanted to dig a hole to escape from.

At this rate I'll run out of Gilmore Girls before I return,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 21 st November, 2014 – 17:50**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** They really should make more Gilmore Girls

Blaine,

I must admit your e-mail threw me for a loop for a while there.

First of all, I love it that you were so helpful to me even though we had just met. I teased you, but it was all in good nature. I don’t actually think you should change – and especially not if it works for you. I know a little bit (a lot) about self-preservation, and I admire you for keeping your heart and your kindness open even knowing that some people may abuse it – I think that takes as much courage as it does to live your life without caring about other people’s opinions.

Personally, I’ve learned to go without caring for strangers’ approval or opinion. Back in high school, it was the only way to survive, but I’ll admit that somewhere along the lines I got a little cold and jaded, where I didn’t use to be. When I started at NYADA the competition was just so cut-throat and I could feel myself turning irreversibly into someone I didn’t really want to be. Fashion may be competitive, but my talent is incredibly appreciated, and I feel like I’m home and surrounded by kindred spirits, and it does make me more comfortable and more open to be entirely myself, including the soft parts.

I like that I don’t care about what other people think of me, but I understand that’s not a universal answer for life. I think people do what feels best for them, and if you like that people like you, then… I don’t know. I’m not claiming to have answers. But either way, I don’t judge you for any of what you said. We went about it two different ways and I guess we’re both happy(ish), so that’s proof that to each his own.

Oh, and there’s nothing selfish about self-preservation, Blaine.

Thank you so much for understanding completely what happened with that guy. For a long time I felt guilty about saying no as fast as I did, without giving him a chance. But as time went on things just became clearer and clearer and I understood, like you said, that he had no right to put that kind of expectations on me and then just act like he was the wounded party in the whole thing. A lot of people would’ve just said (did say) that I was too harsh, or holding a petty, childish grudge – a lot of people don’t understand what’s it like to live in a constant state of fear, or to be threatened to death. I don’t care if he didn’t mean it, he still threatened to kill me. So, _no_.

Your brother had leukemia? Are the kidney problems related to that? Is he okay now?

Fuck… this is about to get real depressing real fast. I guess after reading your e-mail and writing what I just did, it’s impossible for me to reminisce on my cringe-inducing childhood crush without it being sad, or at the very least melancholic. Oh, well…

What happened was that, amidst my horrible high school experience, there was one guy (the most popular guy in the whole school, mind you) that wasn’t mean to me. He wasn’t exactly kind, and I doubt he even knew my name then, but at least he didn’t actively hurt me, and at the time it felt like he was Superman coming to save me. That’s how lonely I was... Anyway, I was in love with him, and, of course, he barely knew who I was. Even when we both joined Glee club (remember the giant who couldn’t really dance?) he would know my name and talk to me if he had to, but he didn’t _notice_ me. So, of course, I came up with the best plan ever. His mother was a widow, my father was a widower – I introduced them.

They fell in love and that’s the story of how I got the best stepmother in the whole country, made my father the happiest man alive, and planned a wedding in two weeks. _But_ it didn’t work out perfectly as far as being in love with my future stepbrother goes: when we had to share a room he got uncomfortable, f-words were said, and it almost ended our parents’ relationship. I became disillusioned with him, but he apologized and from then on he had my back. I didn’t have the slightest crush on him anymore, but we were _brothers_ and I loved him in a completely different way. So, I guess that’s the embarrassing part – I once had a (very ill-advised, completely ridiculous and based on all the wrong reasons) crush on my future (step)brother, and it was me who actually made it possible for us to be brothers.

The depressing part is that a year after we graduated high school Finn died.

Sometimes I still think he’ll be there when I go visit my parents and when I remember he won’t I can’t breathe for a little bit. I’ll never not miss him. I just really wish I believed in heaven because then I would know he would be up there with my mom and they’d both be looking out for me, and they wouldn’t be alone. But I don’t and he’s just gone.

I can’t think of a question for you that couldn’t possibly turn out to be depressing and I don’t want to bring about any more of it.

I’m sorry I didn’t lighten you up,

Kurt

-x-

**Tuesday, 21 st November, 2014 – 23:44**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** He threatened to kill you?!

Dear Kurt,

I’m so sorry for both your losses. I wish there was something else I could do, like hug you or buy you a room full of flowers, or anything that you wanted, really. But I can’t, so all I have is a lousy “I’m sorry” which doesn’t even cut it.

And, god, the thing with the ex-bully just got ten times weirder. Who the fuck threatens to kill them and then, no matter how many years later, thinks it’s a good idea to ask them out? Does he not have any clue as to how people’s feelings work? I just don’t even know what to say. That’s insane. I’m actually angry on your behalf. What the hell. (deep breath and regroup)

So, yeah, my brother was first diagnosed with leukemia when he was seven, and he was fourteen when he was given a clean bill of health. It’s not fun holding my breath every time he goes to the doctor, dreading the day the cancer comes back, but so far so good and he’s twenty six now. His kidneys were a little damaged because of all the treatments and medications and the fact that he eats salt with food instead of the other way around, but they’d been holding up pretty decently until now, obviously. I actually don’t know what I would do if Cooper died. I can’t believe you had to go through my worst nightmare.

I think you’re the first person to be understanding of my philosophy of being liked/being nice, instead of judgmental and making fun of me/it, for one reason or the other. And you’re right: I am happy like this. My mom treats me like I’m a victim of the world waiting to happen and it just frustrates me, especially because she was the one who insisted that “a smile goes a long way”. Yes, I’m nice to people because I want them to like me (and also because _it is_ the right thing to do and because it makes _them_ happy!), but I don’t go chasing them down and offering my blood in return for their love. And I like to think that I keep it at a healthy level.

I promise I like doing nice things for others for a multitude of reasons! I swear, it’s not just because it makes them like me. I think this whole thing can be summed up like my relationship to music – I want to make art and help people, but I’ll also admit that I like the attention the stage provides. I’d pursue music even without the stage/attention, but when it’s there it feels that little bit better.

Kurt, I don’t know if it’s the e-mails, or the fact that you were practically high the first time we corresponded, but I think you’re the _opposite_ of cold and jaded.

I can’t imagine I’ll ever regret being nice to you. You’re one of the good ones, I’m sure.

Tell me the best joke you’ve ever heard,

Blaine

-x-

**Wednesday, 22 nd November, 2014 – 16:27**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I could never make fun of you (and mean it)

I like you too much for that! It’s worrying, given that, for all intents and purposes I barely know you, Blaine. But I think you’re someone I’ll enjoy having in my life and I make a point of trying not to be too horrible to people I like. And besides, these last couple of e-mails have felt like free therapy, which is always nice, because quality therapists charge like a bitch. Also, maybe it’s the slight anonymity of the e-mail, maybe it’s just you, but I haven’t felt this comfortable talking with someone about things so private in a long time.

You don’t need to be angry on my behalf – that guy is completely in the past. But thank you.

I’m sorry to hear that your brother (and your family) had to go through that, especially at such a young age and for such a long time. How old were you when he was diagnosed? (you don’t have to answer that if you just want to forget about it and be in a better mood today)

I didn’t know what to do when he died, either (does anyone? I mean, it’s a _brother_ ). After it happened I went numb for a while. It’s probably the biggest reason I came to Paris. I thought it would get me away from it – from going home and missing him, from dealing with my best friend Rachel who was the love of his life, from dealing with all our friends that kept bringing him up and reminiscing about him… I thought I would come here and everything would be so new and so different that I wouldn’t know he was still missing. But I still did. Because he wasn’t online on Skype, because he wasn’t posting stupid photos on Facebook, because he wasn’t calling me to ask what he should get Rachel for her birthday and then apologizing for the roaming fees.

It got better with time, once I let myself feel it and miss him. It just got easier to deal with, and I guess it really did help being away from everyone else at some point and not having to worry about _their_ grief too.

Are you still getting your stitches out today? Tell me how it goes.

The best joke I ever heard. Oh shit, you’re gonna think I’m such a bad person.

Q: Why did Mary fall off the swing?

A: Because she had no arms.

…

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Not Mary,

Kurt

-x-

**Wednesday, 22 nd November, 2014 – 19:27**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I laughed for five minutes straight

Kurt,

I take it all back. We’re both really bad people. You’re not one of the good ones, and neither am I. We’re horrible people. But, you know, that sort of did the trick. :)

I got my stitches out today and it was okay, and everything was okay, but no pain killers, so… the song remains unfinished, I’m sorry. Although, the lyrics and the main melody is really the only thing that I needed to be high for, so I’ll work on the rest slowly but thoroughly and sober.

I wasn’t born yet when Coop was diagnosed. I was born a little less than a year later. I guess that’s a good thing, because, at least until I was like five, I couldn’t understand what was going on. I just knew that we spent a lot of time in Hospitals and I was okay with it as long as I had some crayons and coloring books, or the girl with the guitar was there singing to the kids. Can you tell when my love affair with music started?

I feel like making the most of our lives is the best way to honor our dead, so I think you did the right thing going to Paris, even if at first it didn’t feel as good as you thought it would. God, this is such a cliché thought, though. Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better and more at peace with it. If you ever feel like you need to talk about it, with someone who had nothing to do with Finn, I’m here.

I know we “barely know each other”, but I really feel like we’re more than just strangers. I don’t know. This is so weird for me, you know? I mean I had that Marja girl in middle school, but I didn’t actually tell her about, you know, my brother and being scared he’ll die and being “too” nice and well… pretty much everything I told you. In fact, there are exactly five people that know about all that outside my family – and you’re one of them. Wow.

I mean, maybe it’s like you said… the anonymity of the e-mail. Whatever it is, though, I’m glad we’re both comfortable with it and on the same page.

Anyway, I’m going back to New York in two days.

Yay,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 23 rd November, 2014 – 17:06**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** damn, you must’ve been the cutest

I can just picture it, little five-year-old Blaine sitting there listening to the nice girl on the guitar, his eyes wide, hands itching and hair glued to his head with gel.

Is that something you’d like to do in the future? Musical therapy?

You can take all the time you want for the song, there’s no rush. Just make sure it’s perfect (no pressure).

Cliché as it is, it’s a nice enough thought, and I do think you’re right. I’m feeling much better nowadays, but I’ll keep your kind offer in mind because sometimes I do want to talk about it (just remember him I guess), but I don’t want to do that with Rachel or his mom because I know they’re hurting, too, and I don’t want to make them think about it. And it doesn’t actually make me uncomfortable to talk about it with you, which is surprising but very cool.

I’ve been thinking about it, and I think what you and I somehow found is pretty special because there’s really no bullshit. I think it’s the fact that it was a complete accident, and that we really didn’t know each other – there were no expectations and we just kind of went with it. It may be weird, but if it works for us I don’t think we should discard it or judge it. Is that weird? Well, I say we enjoy this weird thing we got!

NO HEAVY LIFTING,

K.H.

-x-

**Thursday, 23 rd November, 2014 – 22:15**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’m not actually moving yet

Jeez, save the screaming recommendations for when I’m actually in NY and moving in with Tina and Mike ( :DDDDD )

(Oh ha, ha. No, I did not use gel when I was five. I started when I was six.)

I do volunteer in a couple of Hospitals, yes, I usually manage going a couple of times a week to play for the kids who are super AWESOME – I got three little girlfriends and one little boyfriend actually. Go ahead, you can be jealous.

I don’t think I want to make a career out of it, though, but it’s definitely something I’ll always do on the side. Still, for now the plan is a legitimate performing career in the music industry.

Oh, the song _will_ be perfect! Just you wait! I’ll be back in NYC, so I’ll actually have access to good recording equipment, and you know that being nice actually earns me points with the lovely lady that handles the studio booking.

You’re absolutely right. We should just embrace the weird. I mean, we’re breaking up and reuniting in the pouring rain when we **meet** … I think that’s amazing! Let’s just promise each other something. These e-mails: judgment-free zone. Yes?

In the spirit of this:

Excuse me while I go binge watch both Princess Diaries movies,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 23 rd November, 2014 – 23:03**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’m fucked.

Hi Tina.

So…

He sings for sick children in the hospital.

He has 3 little girlfriends and 1 little boyfriend.

He says I can always talk to him about whatever, and he feels like he can talk to me too – judgment free zone.

He said he wanted to give me a hug or _a room full a flowers_ when I told him about Finn and my mom.

He’s not just writing me a silly song on the guitar about a silly thing. He’s composing it with several instruments. He’s apparently planning to record it in a near-professional studio at his school.

He actually sounds like he’s gonna let me throw a drink in his face just for the hell of it.

I just…

Did I mention he sings to sick children in the Hospital?

I’m so fucked.

-x-

**Friday, 24 th November, 2014 – 01:43**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: I’m fucked.

Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-x-

**Friday, 24 th November, 2014 – 01:45**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** That didn’t really help

I can’t sleep thinking about it.

Help me, Tina. Keep me sane. I can’t get a crush on this guy when we’re on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean.

-x-

**Friday, 24 th November, 2014 – 01:48**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE:That didn’t really help

Here’s what we’re going to do: You’re going to sleep because you’re not being rational right now.

Once you’re rational you’ll realize that this is hardly the end of the world. You’ll be back by the end of January. That’s two months; I think you can do romantic e-mails for two months. Or who knows evolve into Facebook chat or Skype…?

In the meantime I’ll keep all prospective threats at bay, and make sure he only sees your best photos, and talk about you constantly and maybe mention your cooking skills or whatever…

Love you!*

-x-

**Friday, 24 th November, 2014 – 01:52**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I CAN’T sleep

Seriously, though, Tina. This is insane. I barely know him. For all I know he could be full of bullshit.

No! Here’s what we’re going to do: I’m going to go to sleep, because I’m not being rational and when I wake up I’ll see that I’m just being stupid and that he sounds like a nice guy whose e-mails I platonically enjoy.

And you’re going to keep to your own life and do no such things.

Good night.

-x-

**Friday, 24 th November, 2014 – 01:56**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Let me know how that works out for you

I’ll meet him in less than 48 hours and I think you’re going to be jealous when I do.

Xoxo

Tina!

-x-

**Friday, 24 th November, 2014 – 19:04**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Pedophilia is wrong

And so is cheating, by the way (so I’m definitely not jealous). Do those little girls and little boy know they’re sharing you? And does the Police now what’s happening between you and the kids? Now, I know the real reason your _other_ boyfriend dumped your sorry ass.

What kind of music do you sing/make? Please don’t say country, because if you do I’m going to have to disagree on that whole judgment-free zone. I would judge you _so_ hard. And just while we’re on the topic, I’m curious. Give me your top3 albums ever! I want to know!

And before you ask: Marc Jacobs for Marc Jacobs by Marc Jacobs in collaboration with Marc Jacobs by Marc Jacobs for Marc Jacobs. Obviously.

I still can’t believe you’re actually writing that song, Blaine. Are you serious, right now? Blaine, you don’t have to do that! I’m sure you have better things to do with your time than write a silly song and _record it in a studio_!

I hate it that I can’t actually make fun of you for watching those movies. I used to watch the first one all the time (that one is GOOD, I don’t care what anyone says!), but the other one definitely goes into uber guilty pleasure territory. But I just couldn’t (can’t) help it! I loved Mia, and I connected to her best friend on a spiritual level. Seriously, her best friend was based on my best friend and me together as one single person, I’m sure (inheriting Rachel’s terrible fashion sense, of course). I haven’t watched it in forever, and now I feel like watching it too, damn you.

Thoughts on The Prince and Me?,

K.H.

-x-

**Friday, 24 th November, 2014 – 22:14**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** yes, that is exactly why he broke up with me

Kurt,

The kids know they share me, they’re okay with it. I’m pretty sure they all have other significant others as well. Kids these days are the biggest sluts. The Police think so, too.

I play/sing/write pop, and soft singer/songwriter stuff. I don’t know, I think when John Mayer and Katy Perry have a kid it’ll be me. I also do a lot of covers. I love taking something and making it completely different, you know? I guess I picked that up in the warblers, when we had to rearrange the songs to suit our style.

Oh no… Oh the dread question! I was hoping you wouldn’t. I always feel like I’m not going to pass whatever test it is. But mostly it’s because with my classmates it actually is a test and you better have a good answer – otherwise you’re a social pariah. However, since this **_IS_** a judgment-free zone I’ll give you the absolute true version.

Mind you, this is not what I think are the all time top3 albums, because that’s a different story and I think what you were actually asking for were _my_ favorite albums…?

1) Elton John – Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Remastered

First of all, Sir Elton John has one of those voices that I could listen to for hours and hours and hours… Second of all, this album has some of those songs that make you feel _human_. Third of all, do you even need an explanation for this choice? Because if you do then I don’t understand you. It’s Elton for god’s sake! And the remastered version comes with a bunch of covers from other artists and you get to experience the genius of Sir Elton John through plenty of other amazingly talented people.

2) Billy Joel – Movin’ Out OST but if it was sung by Billy Joel (aka a Best Of… kind of)

Words to describe Billy Joel? He’s the definition of pouring your feelings out into song. The true challenge here is choosing the best album. I know, I know… choosing a compilation is such a cop out, but seriously, can you blame me? You just can’t make me chose between my personal anthem, “Piano Man”, and the song that taught me what love is supposed to be about, “Just The Way You Are”. Besides, it counts as a Broadway OST, and the songs are all the more extraordinary when put into that context.

3) Destiny’s Child – the Writing’s On The Wall

The definition of Pop music at its finest. Jumpin Jumpin, Say My Name, Bills Bills Bills… I mean, what else do you need?

But there are so many people I want to have on that list but can’t! Three is such a small number! What about Pink?! She’s the proof that you can be badass and 100% true to yourself and still be popular. Or Roxy Music? It makes me want to build a time machine just so I can go back in time and high five Bryan Ferry! Or even Katy Perry, good old Katy, whose last album is complete shit, but the first two were so gooood. Why must you torture me this way, Kurt? I LIKE E-VE-RY-THING.

What was I supposed to have asked before you gave me a chance to ask and then provided a really confusing answer with Marc Jacobs repeated a lot?

Of course I’m doing the song properly.

I related to _Mia_ on a spiritual level, actually – down to the part where I repeatedly fall for/choose the wrong guy (and excluding the part where there’s actually a good guy in love with me, _both_ times). Oh, Chris Pine, where art thou?

The Prince and Me… Honestly? It’s not nearly as good. It’s a cheap version of the Princess Diaries. I mean, I love Julia Stiles, but for her I’d much rather watch 10 Things I Hate About You, which is actually like insanely awesome and I love it so much, and I once turned her poem to song, back in the day when Sebastian was an ass and I still somehow wanted him.

What’s the last listened to song on your iPod?

No lies,

Blaine

-x-

**Saturday, 25 th November, 2014 – 14:54**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** “What’s your favorite designer?”

Dear Blaine,

How is my one and only New York City? Is it as beautiful and mesmerizing as always?

(I can’t believe you used kids and sluts in the same phrase… aggravated by the fact you were talking about _sick kids_!)

Are those not acceptable choices among your classmates? Because from where I’m sitting they’re really good choices, and from the little I remember of your voice (no offense, it was long time ago) I think you’d probably sound amazing singing Billy Joel or Elton John. I love what you said about Just The Way You Are, it’s such a lovely sentiment. I hope you’ll find someone to sing that song with/to soon enough (Chris Pine is straight, though, or so they say).

Okay, to make things easier for you, then, what’s the song you hate the most, _ever_?

_10 Things I Hate About You._

BLAINE. STOP IT.

Stop making me want to watch perfect movies when I should be getting a head start on studying; or at the very least _out_ enjoying my last couple of months in Paris.

Also, you turned it into a song? I’m so curious!

Also, I’ve just realized that you being a songwriter means you write actual honest-to-god songs on a regular basis about your experiences and stuff (yes, I’m slow, whatever). Are you writing honest-to-god real songs about the dumping douchebag?

Blow – Beyoncé.

I’m blushing,

K.H.

-x-

**Monday, 26 th November, 2014 – 17:16**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Sorry for the delay

But I’ve been moving!!!!! I have a perfect room in a perfect apartment with the perfect roommates!

No seriously, it’s been crazy the last few days, and we still don’t have wi-fi! I’m at school right now.

Anyway, New York City is iridescent, resplendent, glowing! In truth, it’s just as grey, dirty and cluttered as always, but the traffic is music to my ears and the visuals are orgasmic. The only downside are the smells, do you think I’ll ever get used to them?

Of course those are not acceptable answers among my classmates. Elton and Billy are solid choices, but both together are redundant, and of course I’d never get away with either a remastered version or a compilation! I’m not even going to mention Destiny’s Child.

Oh, that’s such an easy answer. The worst song ever, in my opinion, is by far “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt. It’s a glorified catcall. It was everywhere and I couldn’t get it out of my head. What in the world possesses a man to write an entire ode to the beauty of some woman he saw on the subway _with another man_?! Just keep walking, idiot, she probably doesn’t want your creep ass.

I know Chris Pine is straight, thank you very much. So is Ryan Gosling, or Tom Hardy, or Adam Levine and yet I remain hopeful. Cooper’s leukemia taught me that – Positive thinking will get you anywhere! (That’s a joke, btw)

What if I only start mentioning bad movies from now on? The Expendables.

Yes, it does mean that I’m writing songs about the ex. Honestly, I was an invalid when he broke up with me; I had all the time in the world to write. They’re not very good, yet. They’re crappy first drafts for now.

_Blow, blow, blo-ow!_

I laughed out loud and then I giggled. Oh that song...! I know it was written for lady parts, but fuck if I’m not covering it one day. It’s just… you know, fuck.

I like Marc Jacobs, I guess. But if you had let me ask I actually wanted to know about your designs. What do you like designing the most? What’s the design you’re most proud of so far?

Keep it coming keep it going,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 27 th November, 2014 – 15:51**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Don’t forget to suck up to the studio lady

Blaine,

I don’t think people are supposed to get used to or enjoy NYC’s selection of scents. That would be a bad sign.

Please tell me you’re keeping it easy with the moving. No heavy lifting! Nothing crazy! Don’t lie to me – I will know because Tina was my friend first and I _will_ coerce the truth out of her.

Your classmates are idiots. That’s all I have to say about the subjects. And, anyway, I bet 90% of them are lying about their top3. I bet they all secret love Miley Cyrus (and not ironically).

I didn’t even remember that song existed! Holy shit, you’re so right but I never even thought about that!

(I understood that was a joke) Good luck with that. Tom Hardy, though? He’s so… buff. I’m sneering, you can’t see it, but I am. And Chris Pine has a smarmy air about him (but I guess you kind of like that, huh?). Adam Levine has waaay too many tattoos and stuff happening there – whatever happened to “bad boys are overrated”, Blaine? Ryan’s good, though.

I design menswear, mostly. I love scarves. I love coats/jackets/anything Fall/Winter. I don’t have a scanner or my best designs here, but if/when I can I’ll show you.

What even is The Expendables?!

Blaine. Blaine….. bhajdsf.

No comment,

K.H.

-x-

**Wednesday, 28 th November, 2014 – 17:16**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I gave her a cupcake and I have studio time!

Kurt,

Tina and Mike did all of the heavy lifting despite my protests, so really, just shut up about it, I’m not an invalid, and I’m _fine._ The fussing stays all the way back in Ohio with my mom, thank you very much.

Any chance that new roommate trumps old friend in the loyalty hierarchy? Just curious.

The saddest but also funniest part is that you’re probably right… These people are so concerned trying to look original and brilliant that 99% of the time they forget to be genuine as well. In the end, I think that’s what makes all the difference.

Of course I don’t mean Batman’s Tom Hardy. I mean before Batman. When he was just a tiny bit buff. Tiny. No, no, no, Chris Pine isn’t smarmy – he’s charismatic. Ahhh, who am I kidding? He’s smarmy. But he’s cute, come on. I’d just duct tape his mouth shut and look at him, you know? Those eyes. Adam’s voice and lyrics, though. Bad boys with sweet hearts…..

I suppose that might be my problem. I go for the jackass because I think there might be a nice heart somewhere deep inside, and I keep hoping I’ll be the one to bring it out. And I never am because there is no nice heart. I bring this upon myself – but I’ve made a resolution. No more jackasses!

(I mean, I’m not gonna say no to Adam Levine, but that’s the only one)

 _What is The Expendables?!_ Oh my god. Go watch it. It’s like they managed to find every single washed-up has-been action actor, made sure they couldn’t act, and then gave them the most cringe inducing script ever. The best part of the movie is Stallone trying to smile through the Botox. At first I thought it was going to be a parody or a satire of action movies, but no. It’s just super bad and you should watch it. :D

Did I make you blush more (are you a prude, Kurt?)?

I do connect to that song on a spiritual level though,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 29 th November, 2014 – 16:10**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Stop making me blush!

Yes, yes, I am a prude. Shut up! (I’m not a prude, I just… you know… it’s weird talking about it with someone I met randomly on the Internet adsklcksj…!)

Ok, no more fussing about your health. Just make sure you eat red vegetables!

I guess I can see the appeal of pre-batman Tom Hardy. I guess… if I squint. I’m more of a Cary Grant, Marlon Brando, Humphrey Boggart, Montgomery Clift kind of guy.

I love that your solution for Chris Pine was duct taping his mouth shut. I would ask if that’s what you did to all your boyfriends, but I remember Sebastian, and his _sneerkat_ face wasn’t worth the effort.

One of my old high school friends was a bad boy with a nice heart – I would introduce you two but he’s straight and happily committed the girl he knocked up sophomore year. And anyway, I think you’re right: you shouldn’t be falling in love with “potential”, you should be falling in love with what’s right in front of you, Blaine.

I’m not in the business of watching bad movies just for the sake of it, Blaine. My time is precious, I do not wish to waste it away!

Do you ever feel like they wasted a golden opportunity with that preppy guy from Rory’s school?,

K.H.

-x-

**Friday, 30 th November, 2014 – 18:13**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** sneerkat is the perfect description

Kurt,

Oh god, Kurt. I’m going to tattoo “you shouldn’t be falling in love with “potential”, you should be falling in love with what’s right in front of you” on my forehead, but symmetrically reversed so I can read it when I look in the mirror.

But yes, my days of choosing the jackasses are gone. And on some level I think it’s only because that’s the kind of guys that I’ve attracted over the years, and I just needed to learn to say no. I truly feel that if someone openly kind and sweet had come along I would’ve chosen them in a heartbeat. It definitely feels like I was waiting for someone who never showed up, and I was just trying to discover him in these guys that _were_ there. I’m so done with that!

You know, I’m also starting to feel like an idiot, talking to you. It feels like you’ve got everything in your life worked out and you just sound so wise. I feel like a dumb kid, Kurt. Please don’t go away, and let me absorb your wisdom.

On the other hand….

KURT, you don’t know the joy of ironically loving stuff? I know it’s the mark of pretentiousness, but sometimes it’s inevitable and it gives you such great joy to just have something to laugh at. I mean, it’s not like I’m making fun of them to their face – it’s just me in the solitude of my home with my TV and a bad movie on a DVD, dumping all of my negative energy on something and feeling good about it. Seriously! TRY IT!

Oh my god! Yes, us private school prep boys deserve a chance beyond mid-game couple! (But really no. He was a classic prep boy jackass, I would know…)

Do you notice that you’re more comfortable talking about hugely personal things like love life and family, than you are about sex?

It’s cute like your taste in men,

Blaine

-x-

**Saturday, 1 st December, 2014 – 14:40**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Please don’t

Please don’t tattoo that on your forehead, never. Ever. (I mean, it’s sound advice, but still)

Also. Oh my gosh, Blaine. I am so far from wise! I’m like one of those people that give great advice and see things really well from the outside but then just fail completely when it comes to themselves. I mean, I had two major-ish relationships in my life and just thinking about them now bores me to death. I spent High School watching my friends breaking their own hearts, falling in “love” with straight boys, and getting force-kissed by homophobes (that was just the one time, actually)… So, when I got to New York and finally had a chance at dating, I just didn’t want to get hurt. You may go for jackasses, but I go for the most boring guys that would never in a million years hurt me (and then I end up hurting them because I can’t stand it)!

I’ve never _really_ been in love and it sucks.

I guess… maybe I should take some risks. I feel like I need to put myself on the line and just fall for whom I want to be with, regardless of the fact that it might not be the best idea. It’s a scary thought, but I suppose things aren’t worth it if they’re not a little bit scary, right?

And yes, I know that I’m more comfortable talking about these things than I am about sex. It's weird, isn't it? But to be fair, if we’d met under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have been comfortable talking about either (or maybe I would… and I guess that scares me a little about you). It’s not like I’m sacred of sex, either, it’s just that I’ve always felt like it was such an intimate thing and well (I’m kind of virgin-ish so ajdhkhjrf).

I’m a walking contradiction. I’m a hopeless romantic afraid of falling in love.

I do the making fun of stuff for my own private entertainment with bad reality TV,

K.H.

-x-

**Saturday, 1 st December, 2014 – 14:42**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** fuck it

I’ve got a crush on a guy 3 625 miles away who I’ve never met/talked to in person.

Goodbye world


	4. Chapter 4

**Sunday, 2 nd December, 2014 – 02:03**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: fuck it

Im cooing right now, kurt, that’s so cute. Do you tink blaine likes you too cuz I gcan try to find out. We live together nowww!!!! Oh my gos kurt I love living with blaine he’s the best1 you’re right to be in love w him hes just the best!

We just had a howusewarming party the and Rachel and artie puck and saml cedes and santna liek him too! So approvla all around!!!1

Just think: if you two got tgether you could moe in withus and it would be the tow most awesome coupes ever livinh toheyjer foreve!!!!!

I love youuuuuuuuu

-x-

**Sunday, 2 nd December, 2014 – 05:23**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: RE: fuck it

Tina,

I just woke up to your sad spectacle of an e-mail.

Please, for the love of god, tell me you didn’t tell Blaine I _may be developing feelings_ for him (I am not _in love_ with him) – I know you get chatty when you get drunk. After that, swear to me that you never will. If he were to know, it should be through me and because I wanted to tell him.

I have no idea what his feelings are for me, beyond what both of us have stressed multiple times to be a strange kind of friendship that we’re enjoying. There’s also the fact that he’s just getting out of a long relationship and, as well as he seems to be taking it, I’m sure he wouldn’t be emotionally available right now. I don’t know… I honestly don’t know anything about this.

Also – Blaine should not be drinking this soon after his surgery. I think.

I love you too, I guess.

-x-

**Sunday, 2 nd December, 2014 – 18:13**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Your self-proclaimed bff Rachel is crazy intense

But I kind of like her, it’s okay. I actually like most of your friends. Although, it feels so strange and a little bit awkward meeting them in person before meeting you. Exchanging thoughts about you with them, without knowing exactly what you look like, or sound like, or move like. It’s not a bad thing, per se, but it feels strange. Maybe, it’s because the more they talked about you the more I wanted to just meet you already, you know?

Oh, by the way, before Tina says anything about our house-warming party and you start getting ideas, you should rest assured that I did not consume any alcohol last night. There was temptation, yes, but I pulled through the night sober. I’m off any meds now, but I still want to take it easy for a while. STOP FUSSING!

Now, onto your last e-mail…

I can certainly understand the appeal of protecting your heart like that, and maybe I would’ve done the same if I hadn’t grown up with the “live life fully” sort of mantra, you know? It’s kind of hard being afraid of certain parts of life when every day you were terrified of death.

That being said, I don’t want to lie to you, Kurt. You should absolutely put your heart on the line, when your gut tells you to. It’s true that you may get hurt, god knows I have, but it can also mean finding true love and experiencing the best thing in life to its fullest. I haven’t yet, but the thing is: I don’t know when it’s coming and I don’t want to give it the chance of going past me unannounced and undiscovered.

In conclusion: I don’t think you’re a walking contradiction. I think you just haven’t met someone who’s made you absolutely **need** to get out of your comfort zone and put yourself back on the line. When you do, though, please go for it.

So, we should make a pact: no more jackasses for me, no more boring guys for you. No cops outs either, always invest in what you know in your gut is worth investing. Go big or go home! :D

Scary can be good sometimes.

I hope you’re not uncomfortable talking to me about sex because you’re uncomfortable admitting you’re a virgin-ish, whatever that’s supposed to mean, and you think I'll judge you. Sex is great, but it can mean a lot of different things, and it’s each person’s choice what it means to them. If you want it to be intimate and personal, and an expression of love and passion, then I don’t see why it’d be a problem for you to wait until it’s worth it. I think it’s great that you have the conviction to wait and the backbone to say no.

Besides, judgment-free zone, remember?

What if I tattooed real love in my knuckles?,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 2 nd December, 2014 – 19:01**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: RE: RE: fuck it

Kurt,

I didn’t tell him anything, I promise! And I won’t! I think you guys would be super cute together, not to mention that you met in the most adorable way ever, but I wouldn’t do that. I know people are supposed to deal with their own love lives and whatnot. And I get giggly when I’m drunk, not chatty, so I think you’re confusing me with Rachel.

That being said, I think Blaine’s really okay with his break up. Honestly, he never once mentioned missing the ex (barely mentions him _at all_ ), and when we were helping him pack up his stuff in his old room, he just threw the ex’s stuff in a box that he unceremoniously dumped in the back alley dumpster. He’s only ever joined me for ice-cream once and he had a reasonable amount, and he doesn’t seem to be eating his feelings in any other possible way. Even Mike agrees with me that he’s not acting like he’s heartbroken, and I get that he’s private and stuff, but he’s super cheerful all the time and it really doesn’t seem fake.

And also, he asks a lot about you and I catch him looking at the pictures I have of/with you on my wall sometimes. I definitely think there’s something there. I’m not sure he realizes there is, but I think there is.

Finally, he didn’t drink.

Love,

Sober Tina

-x-

**Sunday, 2 nd December, 2014 – 19:10**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** ok

Just don’t do something silly like drive away potential love interests for him. All in all we really don’t know if he feels anything for me, and I don’t want to drive him away by doing something that’ll make him uncomfortable. The truth is that even if he never likes me back, I still think he’ll make a great friend and I don’t want to jeopardize that.

Love you

-x-

**Monday, 3 rd December, 2014 – 15:40**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** NO TATTOOS

Hi Blaine!

So both Rachel and Tina seem to confirm that you were very responsible and didn’t drink Saturday night (of course I checked!), so I’m very proud of you on that front, and maybe you should stick to that indefinitely? I need to look up effects of alcohol on one-kidneyed people, but it just doesn’t feel right to me. (Do you pee more or less now? I’ve always wondered that)

Rachel seemed to like you too from what she said on our weekly Skype session, in which she spoke about you for four minutes – a full minute more than she usually deigns to speak of something other than herself. Kudos!

And I do get the awkwardness of speaking about you with other people – it’s the same for me when I talk to Tina and now Rachel. It’s definitely unnerving, and might I say a bit unfair? Why do they get to meet you before I do? I found you (well, you found me, but whatever… I kept you)!

Sometimes I want to ask you if we can Skype or at least talk over Facebook chat (we’re not friends on Facebook, btw), but then I don’t. I don’t know, this feels special and I guess maybe I really don’t want to risk ruining it (or maybe it’s because if it went that much further it would only be more frustrating not being able to actually meet you).

I might be going a little bit crazy but I’m in on that pact. For the first time since junior year of High School I am ready to just go for it and let myself fall for someone.

I guess I’ll always be uncomfortable talking about it exactly because I see sex as acting on one’s deeply intimate feelings. And thank you for being so kind – I’m actually very lucky to be surrounded with friends that understand this about me (and feel mostly the same way), but I know it’s not always like that and I guess I was a little afraid that you’d think I _was_ a prude. I swear it’s not like that.

But you’re right – judgment-free zone. And I should’ve known you would understand (I almost put a smiley face here! Wtf! Ugh, call the doctor, will you?).

(by virgin-ish, I mean I’ve done some stuff, but I called quits when it just felt wrong, so…)

And yet I keep blushing,

K.H.

-x-

**Monday, 3 rd December, 2014 – 22:30**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Chill, it’s probably because of your fair complexion

And since we’ve established that you’re cute, you’re probably cuter when you blush, anyway.

I’m never introducing you to my mother, lest you team up and become the dynamic duo of fussing (I’m not even going to answer that, Kurt). How are your insomnia, by the way ? (I can do it, too)

About the Facebook/Skype thing. Here are my thoughts: I really like this back and forth thing we have going on. It’s old fashioned (although, you know, slightly faster and cheaper than normal mail) and it gives us the space to talk about deep stuff without worrying about how long it takes to type it out, or editing ourselves. Not that I’m afraid we’re going to be awkward or stilted when we do meet, but I definitely think that for a good start this is a surprisingly cool way to go! I think it’s original and worth keeping for as long as we need to (meaning until you come back). And I do think you’re right – the more we give into, the more we might crave for.

However, it’s still super frustrating some times. So, what I’d like to suggest is that we each have one “emergency Skype” call. If you really, really, really feel like you need to talk to me, face to face and in real time, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t because of some silly “this is a fun concept”. And likewise for me.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

You accepted the pact! No chickening out now!

We’re 100% sure that your friend Sam’s straight, right?,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 4 th December, 2014 – 15:43**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Been there, done that, he’s straight

Blaine,

Sam might be nice and dye his hair, but he’s straight, trust _me_. But I’m sure he has a couple of model friends that would be more flexible on that front, if you want to ask him to set you up (although, that might not be the best idea because he’s not entirely sane either and you might end up on another terrible blind date).

The emergency Skype calls sound like a good idea to me!

Is it weird that I’m starting to think of you as one of my best friends? And is it weird that I keep asking you if this thing between us is weird? Ignore me.

Blaine, I hope you know that you just used your monthly smiley quota. I hope you’re happy now because you’re not allowed to use any more smileys for another month.

The pact goes both ways! You have to deliver on yours! Your next romantic endeavor better not be a douchebag. And you absolutely can’t get back together with the ex even if he comes crawling back.

We’re so good for each other,

Kurt

-x-

**Wednesday, 5 th December, 2014 – 19:19**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** So this happened

Kurt,

Let me just get through a couple things real quick: I think of you as one of my best friends, too. I won’t ignore you because that defeats the purpose of friendship. I definitely would not trust Sam to set me up with anyone – let alone models – and besides, on second thought I don’t think he’s my type. He’s just so good looking that I got momentarily distracted by it. Although I think I’ll keep him as a friend – he’s good at Mario Kart; he, Mike and I have some good times together. What? No! Please, I need the smileys (even though they’re called emoticons, Kurt)!

Now, onto what happened. You must have psychic powers Kurt. You have to. Nothing else could explain this happening after what you just said.

\---Original Message---

Sent: Tuesday, 4th December, 2014 – 19:08

From: kelmanning@hotmail.com

To: bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com

Subject: I’m sorry

Hello Blaine,

Apparently you’ve moved away and didn’t leave a new address, and now you’re not answering my calls, and so this is my last resort.

I know I screwed up bad, and I know I said awful things to you. I promise I didn’t mean any of it, and I was just a little scared and took it all out on you when you didn’t deserve it. The truth is that I wasn’t ready for you to move in with me, it felt like too much too soon.

But this month without you felt horrible too. I miss you so much!

I’m more than willing to move in with you, now, and I can’t wait to work on a future with you! You’re such a bright light in my life I’d be devastated to see you go!

Please, please, please take me back.

I love you

Kevin

-x-

**Thursday, 6 th December, 2014 – 07:23**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** holy fuck

Blaine, tell me that you’re not getting back together with him. You promised no more jackasses.

Someone that would break up with you while you were in bed after surgery doesn’t deserve your affection like that. He’ll just keep doing stupid things over and over again, but you have to stop letting him do it at some point, and better sooner than later.

That’s not the e-mail of someone who understands what he did and is willing to work hard and change. That’s the e-mail of someone who got cold feet and realized he threw something great away.

STAND FIRM (like I will on the “emoticon” monthly quota thing),

Kurt

-x-

**Thursday, 6 th December, 2014 – 15:29**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Relax, Kurt

Here’s exactly what went down after that first e-mail.

\---Original Message---

Sent: Tuesday, 4th December, 2014 – 19:21

From: bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com

To: kelmanning@hotmail.com

Subject: RE: I’m sorry

Attachments: what_goes_around_JT.mp3

Dear Kevin,

Have a nice life,

Blaine Anderson

\---Original Message---

Sent: Tuesday, 4th December, 2014 – 19:48

From: kelmanning@hotmail.com

To: bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com

Subject: RE: RE: I’m sorry

Blaine,

That song is unfair to say the least. First of all, it’s just childish to think you can end a one-year relationship with a Justin Timberlake song. Second of all, I didn’t cheat on you, like the song suggests. I don’t know what people told you, but they like to make up stuff where there isn’t, and I wasn’t with him while we were together, and besides, that doesn’t matter. I don’t feel about him the way I feel about you. I’ll never miss him the way I miss you.

I understand why you’d be mad. But please, are you really willing to throw away one year together because I made one stupid mistake when I got scared?

Please, Blaine! Think about it! You don’t have to tell me anything today, or tomorrow, but just consider what you’d be throwing away. We had such good times together!

All I want is to just forget this whole mess and have you back!

Love,

Kev

\---Original Message---

Sent: Tuesday, 4th December, 2014 – 19:21

From: bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com

To: kelmanning@hotmail.com

Subject: You’re unbelievable

Dear Kev,

Are you honestly accusing _me_ of being childish? Really? Wow…

For the record I had no idea that you’d been with anyone recently – the song was meant as more of an open interpretation than a detailed account of the events, but I guess it turned out a little truer than I expected, hey? Besides, if you were toying with the idea of being with whatever guy you’re talking about while we were together, and bidding your time until you could, it doesn’t make it all that better that you didn’t. But, you know, that’s small potatoes, I don’t actually care.

What I care about, though, is that you don’t seem to realize that it wasn’t just ONE mistake. It was a year full of you not knowing what it means to be in a relationship with someone. Remember when it took you six months to admit that we were exclusive even though neither one of us was seeing anyone else and you actually had the nerve to get jealous every time some guy so much as flirted with me? Remember how for all the time we were together I never once heard you introduce me to people as your boyfriend? Remember how you used to have parties with your friends and not invite me? You had your space and you never let me in; you never even _tried_!

We had fun together, yes. We had fun dancing and partying, we had fun in bed, we had fun cooking dinner together, and watching films and going on those crazy dates you were so fond of. We had tons of fun, but I’m not looking for just fun, Kevin, I’m looking for someone who’ll stand by me when I need him to, who’ll understand me, who won’t be afraid to tell me how they feel, who can actually talk to me about everything and anything. I want someone who knows what a relationship is – or at the very least, who’s willing to try their hardest at it. You’re not.

Listen, I don’t actually think you ever cheated on me, despite what everyone kept telling me, and I don’t even think you’re a bad person. But you’re crazy if you think breaking up with me after my surgery was your only mistake. The truth is, Kevin, you have no idea what it is to be with someone and be committed, and I have no interest in being the one to teach you that.

And for the last time: _I wasn’t trying to move in with you_. I needed to stay with you for a couple of weeks until I found a new apartment and roommate. It’s completely different. I wasn’t trying to trick you into moving in together, don’t flatter yourself.

Finally, I don’t love you, and I wonder if I ever did.

Please stop e-mailing, calling and texting me. This relationship is over.

Goodbye,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 6 th December, 2014 – 16:07**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Justin Timberlake is proud of you

Blaine,

I can’t believe you just sent him that song. I mean, it’s perfect, but I never pegged you for such sass. I laughed for five minutes straight when I realized what you’d done. I want to hug you!

Also, fuck, that last e-mail is what breakup songs are made of. That’s the stuff.

I thought you said you didn’t like confrontation!

Am I being insensitive about it? Just sitting here clapping my hands and laughing?

I mean, now I feel like I understand what actually happened between you, and I absolutely think you did the right thing, not getting back together. I don’t like the idea of someone like you, with so much to offer, settling for someone who doesn’t know the first thing about love and respect, and doesn’t seem all that willing to learn.

Congratulations on standing firm,

K.H.

-x-

**Thursday, 6 th December, 2014 – 22:17**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I am the Prince of Sass

Growing up with my brother, I just absolutely had to be. My parents are the King and Queen, though. You know you’ve got sass down to perfection when you can say no to a cancer kid. :P

Even now, as a twenty seven year old man, a conversation in our home goes something like this: “Mommy, please I really want it!” Cooper says.

“No.” My mom says.

“But I had cancer!” Cooper says.

To which I will say, “Yes, and then I gave you my bone marrow and you stopped having cancer. Have you thanked me yet today? I don’t think so.”

Controlling hurricane Cooper is all about teaming up and showing a united front against his daily whims.

I kid, I kid… I mean, Cooper _is_ an idiot, and we do spend half our lives shutting him up, but I don’t make him thank me _every day_. ;)

I really don’t like confrontation, but sometimes it’s just necessary and unavoidable. Besides, strangely enough, it helps when I actually know the person well enough to know how to go about it, and how far I want to/can take the issue. And it was via e-mail so no worries about red faces and shaking voices, hooray! (Cop out…? Maybe so.)

Should I make that e-mail into a break up song? Because I always want you clapping for me! I crave the applause and the approval, especially when it comes from such a special someone, who’s made me promise never to settle again! :) :D

I want you to hug me too,

Blaine

-x-

**Friday, 7 th December, 2014 – 16:01**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I wasn’t lying about the smiley monthly quota

Blaine

I didn’t realize that you’d given your brother the bone marrow when you were kids. I hear that really hurts? Between bone marrow and kidney, he’s only missing your liver! He better start working on that cirrhosis.

I definitely think he should send you thank you cards everyday. “Dear Blaine, today I went grocery shopping. Thank you for the opportunity.” That wouldn’t be obnoxious at all.

I find that any self-respecting performing artist has at least one great break up song! Also, you’re not allowed to have your first gig before I’m back, because I definitely need to be there, clapping practically in your ears.

When you say things like that… that’s the kind of thing that makes this so frustrating,

K.H.

-x-

**Saturday, 7 th December, 2014 – 22:17**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** What’re you gonna do about it, though? :P ;) :D

Mwahahah

Anyway… Yeah, I gave him the bone marrow. My parents never planned on having two kids – because they were both slightly workaholics. But then Cooper was diagnosed and at the time there weren’t any matches for a transplant, and the doctors told them that siblings had higher chances of being matches, and that the situation was probably manageable until then. So, they had me. In the meanwhile the treatments started working, so they thought “Wow, maybe we won’t need to torture Blaine anymore”.

A couple years later, though, it came back. But there was a match from someone else who wasn’t nearly as young as I was so they thought it was better to go with the other person, but that first transplant didn’t work, and then there was a rough patch until we could get Cooper’s system back to being able to cope with another, and that’s the part where I saved Cooper’s life with my miraculous bone marrow!!!! :P

I’m sure it hurt even despite the anesthesia, but I really was a kid, and I barely remember. I’m told I was a good sport, and my parents always bought me new toys after procedures.

I saved a life by the time I was seven. What have you done with your life, Kurt?

Ahahahah! I already told him he’s not allowed to be an alcoholic. I mean, I’ll give him some liver if he really needs it. But that’s where I draw the line.

I could _maybe_ give him a lung, but only if he gives me something good in return, you know.

So, if Elton John called me up and was like “Hey, Blaine, I heard you dig my music, and I think you’re cool beans. Do you want to open for my next tour?” I have to say, “Oh, shoot, I’m sorry Elton, I can’t. Kurt’s still in Paris. But I can babysit your Eastern European baby for you, if you need.”

You started it!,

Blaine

(You wouldn’t happen to be coming back for the Holidays, would you?)

-x-

Friday, 7th December, 2014 – 16:01

 **From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Damn you, Blaine!

I was going to not reply to your e-mail until you took all the smileys back and apologized for abusing your already too generous monthly quota, but that’s not an e-mail I can _not_ reply to. Dammit!

To answer your question, by the time I was seven I had perfected the art of the tea party, learned how to mix cake batter (I wasn’t allowed to operate the oven, though), and I’d gotten my first sewing machine. I mean, no life saving, but still, I wasn’t exactly drooling around and sleeping.

And, so what you saved your brother’s life (but, let’s be honest, it was just dumb luck you were a match) and got toys out of it? Blaine, you spoiled brat!

Oh, well, if he’s not _allowed_ I’m sure he won’t become an alcoholic. (Lungs, don’t work like that, Blaine, there’s no “extra one”)

I take it your parents stopped being workaholics, though?

Yes, that’s exactly what you should tell Elton. But, if he insists I give you permission to do it, as long as you use your emergency Skype session and put the laptop right there on the front row. And also, only for Elton (or Billy, I guess), no one else gets to have you as their opening act before I come back.

Maybe Justin too,

K.H.

(No... it’s just too expensive.)

-x-

**Saturday, 7 th December, 2014 – 22:17**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

Subject: :D

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

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:O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

;) ;) ;) ;) ;),

Blaine

(   :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(   )

-x-

**Tuesday, 7 th December, 2014 – 18:13**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’m sorry

Talk to me.

Kuuuuurtt…..

Kuuuuuuuuuurttt…..

KUUUUUUUUURRRRTTTT

I’m going to play the cancer brother card. I’m going to start weeping about how hard it was to grow up with a brother with cancer, and how it felt to know I was born with the sole purpose of saving him! You’re going to have to talk to me.

KURT,

Blaine

-x-

**Wednesday, 8 th December, 2014 – 15:09**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** lesson learned?

Dear Blaine,

Our actions have consequences. Either don’t be an asshat or learn to live with them.

For now, apologies accepted.

I know you were kidding, but now I kind of need to know what it was like growing up knowing that. Was it a big deal, or was it just one of those things you barely even thought about?

Yearly quota used up now,

KURT

-x-

**Tuesday, 7 th December, 2014 – 18:13**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I was afraid I’d driven you away for good

I’m so relieved!!!

Thank you for being such a magnanimous soul and forgiving me like that! It means so much to me Kurt! I would put a smiley face here, to express how happy I feel about your forgiveness, but I learn my lessons.

That’s some question, Kurt, I hope you know that.

Wow… okay… let’s see. Obviously I didn’t know that until I was like eleven or something and we were watching a show or a movie about something like that, and it just clicked, - how I was born so shortly after he was diagnosed and how we were practically eight years apart in age, and everything. My parents never told me until I gathered up the guts to ask them about it a couple years later. They confirmed it, told me they loved me just as much as they loved Cooper and that I was much more than the reason they had me. Obviously.

And the thing is, they weren’t lying – I knew then and I know now they never lied about that, and they absolutely love me and cherish me and we get along pretty damn well. But knowing one thing and really, really feeling it is something different altogether, you know. After that first talk with them (I think I was thirteen), it was also about the time I was figuring out I might be gay, and I found myself enrolling in a stupid amount of sports, and extra-curriculars, and never taking my eyes off the textbooks. I drove myself crazy trying to achieve perfect scores and giving them all kinds of things to be proud of to compensate for whatever else there _might_ be that they didn’t exactly sign up for when they had me.

It wasn’t the best year of my life, but they weren’t blind and when they noticed what I was doing (it was pretty hard not to notice because I was developing a nervous anorexia) they sent me to a kids therapist, and for a couple of years I worked through most of those issues and quit the extra curriculars that didn’t really make me happy. I realized I’d been trying to “justify my existence”, now that I’d done my part – especially because I knew they didn’t really want another kid when they already had Coop – and trying to balance out me being gay. I came out to them when I was fourteen, and my dad didn’t have the best time with it, but mom made him go get informed and go to a therapist, too, and he came around and accepted me _completely_ within a couple of years. In fact, he took me to NYC for my first Pride Parade when gay marriage was legalized, and last year he came to visit me  just so we could go together to the Pride Parade  again and promised to make a tradition out of it!

So you see, it’s not a huge, huge deal (anymore), but it’s not some detail I can gloss over in my life. Especially when through most of my childhood my extended family barely noticed I existed because all they cared about was Coop; and I couldn’t exactly do all the things I wanted to do or be the kid I was supposed to be because we were always worried about him… It sounds pretty shitty even to me, that I was jealous of my brother and all the attention he got, but at this point in my life I’m finally at peace with it, and making my own life separate from the shittier parts of our childhood.

However, I really need to stress this: I love Cooper, I love my parents and I was always a **happy** kid, I really was. A few shitty things don’t make a whole, and the whole was, overall, good.

Phew… I hope you like honesty because right after I send this e-mail I’m going to want to take it all back and pretend that I was so happy with all of it and really my grandmother was so right to tell me that I was just “Cooper’s little guardian angel brought to this earth to keep him safe”.

After all of this maybe we could renegotiate the quota thing,

Blaine

-x-

**Wednesday, 8 th December, 2014 – 15:09**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** so have all the smileys you want….

Hey Blaine,

With every e-mail that you send, especially this kind of e-mail where you just open up in ways that I’m not sure I ever could (or maybe I can, but only to you), you just make more and more sense – it feels like you’re giving me pieces of a puzzle that I’ll never finish, but never get tired of either.

I actually didn’t know it would be such big a question. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed (but not necessarily in a bad way) because it’s kind of hard to say anything to that. The truth is that I’m feeling a little guilty for asking because apparently you weren’t entirely comfortable sharing that part of yourself with me. Just because we agreed on a judgment-free zone doesn’t mean you have to tell me everything I ask you to, especially when I ask out of stupid, ignorant curiosity. I should’ve known it was a big question; I’m so sorry Blaine.

But I also love that at the end of the day you did trust me enough to tell me. That really makes me happy.

I don’t think you being jealous of the attention Cooper was getting is shitty. You weren’t jealous of the cancer, you were jealous of people caring about him more than they seemed to care about you. I think that’s completely normal, especially for a child. And I don’t want to minimize what Cooper had to go through, but it’s not like you got a good deal out of it, either.

Is it weird that I want to thank your parents for noticing and for making you get help (will I ever stop asking if what I’m feeling is weird?)? You’re right in not wanting me to meet your mother, or we’d be insufferable, but it’s just…

And your dad’s a good man, too. My dad was pretty much perfect and accepting from day one, but it also takes a good man to admit he’s wrong and change himself for his son. I think it’s adorable that he goes to the Pride Parade with you, and maybe I could talk my dad into coming too and they could bond over not having the faintest clue about what to do with us gays and our strange love for show tunes.

I can’t believe your grandma said that,

K.H.

-x-

**Thursday, 9 th December, 2014 – 18:19**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** :D :D :D

I’m just kidding! I’m reverting back to normal levels of emoticons, don’t worry.

Kurt, I think you’re a poet and your words make me warm inside. I don’t want you to stop wanting to know more about me – the same way I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting to know more about you. However _weird_ this thing between us may be (I don’t know, will you?), it’s pretty incredible. I never thought that sending an e-mail to the wrong address would find me someone so amazing and with whom I connect with so effortlessly.

There’s absolutely no need to feel guilty about it. If I didn’t want to answer I would’ve just said so. It’s strange being so open about myself, and maybe another time or another person I would’ve just shrugged the question off or even lied. There aren’t many people who know that about me (mainly my immediate family and Wes), but I’m glad you’re one of them, because I know you’ll understand, and I know you won’t judge or pity me for it.

Oh, Kurt,… you naïve fool! That’s not nearly the worst thing she’s said. That’s actually pretty nice of her. My grandmother says a lot of things and most of which are dumb, ignorant, offensive or downright mean.

I love that somewhere along the line we just dropped the “if we meet” and started making plans for “when we meet”. I really, really love that, and it feels great knowing that it’s definitely going to happen!

So, hell yes! Bring your dad, and maybe then my dad will have someone to exchange scared glances with at the more scandalous parts. He tried it with me, but I think he got even more scared when I wasn’t phased in the least.

I’d like you to know that if you ever need or you feel like it, you can talk to me about your mom and/or your brother. I’d actually love to know about them.

Finals are going to kill me beyond dead,

Blaine

-x-

**Friday, 10 th December, 2014 – 15:38**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** My plane could crash

Dear Blaine,

In the event that my plane does crash and I die before we get to meet, you should know that I will try my best to come back from the dead, either as a ghost or a zombie, and find you so we can at least have coffee together.

And if you die, on account of your finals, I would love it if you could make the same effort. But do try and be a ghost, though. I don’t think I would like it very much to have coffee with a zombie – they look like they smell bad.

Also, because I know that misery loves company, you can rest assured that my finals will be brutal and disgusting as well, and that I will be hard-pressed not to kill anyone in the meantime. I can feel them looming closer and closer, and the hair on the back of my neck stands with anxious anticipation.

My mom died of cancer when I was eight. At the time I almost didn’t understand what was happening, especially because it all happened too fast. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it’s one of those asymptomatic cancers that by the time you catch it there’s nothing you can do about it and the survival rate is less than 5% or something like that.

She didn’t do any treatments, because she wanted to live whatever time she had left with quality. Looking back, I can see how scared she was – especially at the end; but she hid it well. I don’t think there’s any way to face death without fear, even when you’re the one choosing not to fight it.

We were very close, and when she died I missed her a lot. I remember wishing that it had been my dad instead of her, and for a lot of years I couldn’t relate to him like I did to her. I resented him, I felt like he’d never understand me, I felt like he didn’t really like me (how could he, I was nothing like the son men like him dream about?), and I practically raised myself (or I thought I did, and I look back now and realize that my dad was always there, quietly guiding me in the right direction), taught myself to cook, to do the laundry, to clean the house.

It took me some years to realize he was all I had left and that he might deserve better, and when I came out to him and he told me he already knew and that he’d always love me, I think I finally grew up, and let go of my anger at losing her.

Everyone always tells me I’m a lot like her, but I don’t think so. I think I’m my dad’s son through and through, and I’m as proud of it as I would’ve been if it was the other way around.

I could write books about her, about my dad and about what it felt like when I didn’t have but desperately needed her. She was beautiful and she was happy, and she deserved better. I miss her.

It’s hard to talk about losing her without talking about him, I guess. And you’re the first person, besides him, that I’ve told this. It’s a little shameful to have felt that way towards the only person I was left with. But hopefully you’re also the one person who’ll understand what it’s like feeling and thinking terrible things other people would judge you for. It’s like they pity us, but the moment they know our feelings weren’t the easiest to understand or relate to, they just think we’re selfish and wrong.

(About Finn… I don’t think I can right now…)

Tell my _your_ best joke,

K.H.

-x-

**Saturday, 11 th December, 2014 – 22:19**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** What if we both die?

Do we both come back as zombies/ghosts or do we make arrangements to meet in the afterlife?

Good luck on your finals!!! Mine start this week, fuck my life. (I’m so sad you’re not coming back for the holidays, btw)

I hope you didn’t feel obligated to tell me about your mom, because I shared all those things before. I promise you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I was just making sure that you knew you could talk about it if you wanted.

That being said, remember what you said about me and my puzzle pieces…? Ditto.

I’m so glad that you found your dad again, and that you’re close. If he’s really anything like you, or vice-versa, he must be fantastic and I’m so thankful that you have him.

I feel like there’s not a lot I can say to all of that without verging on condescending, self-indulgent and ignorant blabber, but I want you to know that if you ever need me to say something, tell me so and I will. And if you need me to just listen, I will too. I have no idea what it’s like to lose a brother or a mother, but, like you said, I do know pain, and a lot of times all you really need is someone to listen while you let it go, and I promise I can be that for you.

And you’re absolutely right. The thing about pain that most people don’t know until they’ve felt it, too, is that there is no right way to go about it. And sometimes I think there is no selfless way to go about it, either. It’s yours to feel, and yours alone.

So… I only know stupid jokes that 99% of the population doesn’t find all that funny, while I sit there laughing for hours, so here are three of them and hopefully one hits the mark.

In honor of me still wanting you to see The Expendables: Bruce Willis is probably going to keep making action movies because you know what they say about old habits.

In honor of our recent conversation about sex and all your blushing: Cosmo Tip 5437: Secretly use super glue instead of lube so you can be together forever.

In honor of me having finished Gilmore Girls and moved on to something even more awesome while I should be studying for finals: Anything Karen Walker says on Will &Grace, i.e. “Oh kids ruin everything. I mean look at the stitching on this. You cannot trust a ten year old to do a good hidden button.”

However, none of those is my favorite. The thing about my favorite joke ever is that it’s really, really stupid. And if I tell you you’re going to stop talking to me and have Tina kick me out of my amazing apartment.

Why can _you_ come back as a zombie but not me?,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 12 th December, 2014 – 17:14**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Tell me the joke.

Tell me the joke.

(If we both die we can meet in the afterlife, it’s okay)

(Thank you.)

(I can’t even…!)

(Because I’d still be cute as a zombie and I’d probably still remember to put on perfume)

Tell me the joke,

K.H.

-x-

**Monday, 13 th December, 2014 – 19:03**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Ask me if I’m a lettuce.

Finals have started.

Fuck everything,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 14 th December, 2014 – 16:00**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Are you a lettuce?

Hold on. Be strong. You can do this. I believe in you.

Bless you,

Kurt

-x-

**Wednesday, 15 th December, 2014 – 18:53**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** No, I’m a person.

I told you it was stupid. I’m addicted to anti-jokes, it’s a serious problem.

Excuse me while I make dying whale noises,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 16 th December, 2014 – 16:14**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** You’re shitting me.

That’s your favorite joke?

Why is it that I’m actually not surprised.

(It’s so frustrating that I’m actually laughing when I just want to beat you up for being ridiculous. Why did you have to make it funny? Blergh!)

One more day,

Kurt

-x-

**Friday, 17 th December, 2014 – 19:06**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’ve survived finals

Dear Kurt,

Today is my turn to ask if it’s weird that I’m missing someone I’ve never actually met?

I miss you,

Blaine


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some people noticed and called to my attention the fact that some dates on the last chapter were mixed up. I can't fix them now, because that would mess with the whole thing afterwards, but thank you for pointing it out. If you'd be so kind as to pretend that didn't happen... :P Meanwhile I'm trying to make sure these next chapters don't have any of those mistakes.

**Saturday, 17 th December, 2014 – 13:14**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I miss you, too

Hey Blaine,

I’m starting my finals on Monday (they’re sadists, they ARE, having finals this close to Christmas). I’m going to bury myself in the library. Between having to study beyond reasonable expectations and feeling depressed about not going home for Christmas I don’t think I’ll be a very good pen pal, but I’ll do my best.

I can’t believe that for the first time in my life I won’t be with my dad for Christmas. I think I might actually spend the entire day crying. I never thought I would miss people this bad. I feel like I’m worlds away from everything and everyone, and it’s just so hard to be on the sidelines.

I don’t regret coming here, but also didn’t think it would be this hard.

I wish my dad could hug me.

I wish you could hug me,

Kurt

-x-

**Saturday, 17 th December, 2014 – 23:06**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** in my mind I’m hugging you

Hi Kurt,

I hope you’re feeling a little bit better, even though I doubt it. As far as finals go, I know it feels like you’re going to die, but you’re not. Push through it and you’ll be fine. You’re so smart; I know you’re going to knock them off their French socks.

As far as Christmas alone goes, you’re not _actually_ alone. You have friends there, right? Gather them up and make your own little refugee-club Christmas.

And don’t forget about us Americans that would _die_ for the chance to be with you. If you need I’m only a Skype call away, as are all of us: I know for a fact that Rachel’s staying here for the Holidays and she could use some BFF quality time. I’m sure your dad will want to see you, too.

If all else fails, just pick up your wallet and go on a shopping spree!

No, but seriously, get yourself to a spa, go sightseeing, go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and yell out “Blaine is the best pen pal ever!”; do stuff that you like to do alone and forget that it’s Christmas.

Besides, I think you’re just freaking out about tackling those things together, when in reality once finals are over you’re going to feel much better. Now it might not to look manageable, but when you’re done with school and have a little more peace of mind, you’ll see that Christmas in Paris isn’t as terrible. Before you know it, you’ll be back here, and missing Paris and hating me because I’m not nearly as charming in person as I am in writing.

You can also binge watch Home Alone because it’s slightly apropos.

Ask me if I’m an orange,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 18 th December, 2014 – 12:11**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** You hug nice

Blaine,

Have I told you recently that you are the best? You’re the best.

Are you an orange?,

Kurt

-x-

**Sunday, 18 th December, 2014 – 17:36**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I actually do – or so they tell me - I can't wait to show you!

Kurt,

You’re pretty cool yourself. ;)

Good luck tomorrow! I’m going to light some candles for you (I don’t know, my mom lights candles for people when they’re going through stuff… I think it’s useless, but they smell nice).

No, Kurt. I already told you!

I’m a person,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 18 th December, 2014 – 18:23**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Vanilla is the best candle scent

I know, I know… boring. Who the hell admits to preferring vanilla? This guy. I don’t care, it smells delicious. (At least its not my favorite flavor – I’m a little more risqué about my palate)

Thank you. I’m going to bed now, and I’m praying to a god that doesn’t exist for no insomnia tonight.

Damn it Blaine!

How do you make that funny?

It’s just so stupid,

Kurt

-x-

**Monday, 19 th December, 2014 – 18:22**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Do you even realize what you just implied?

Kurt,

When you’re feeling a little better, please read the first paragraph of your last e-mail. I know you were probably talking about ice-cream or whatever, but still… one’s mind travels.

I’ve decided to take advantage of your temporary insanity to send you one lame joke a day. It’s my only chance at being funny. Here we go!

An owl and a squirrel are sitting on a tree watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and doesn’t say anything, because owls don’t talk. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

Cue laughter,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 20 th December, 2014 – 16:28**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Hang in there!

What do a banana and a helicopter have in common?

.

.

.

Neither of them is a police officer,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 20 th December, 2014 – 18:01**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** oh my god.

I can’t even,

Kurt

-x-

**Wednesday, 21 st December, 2014 – 17:05**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Keep Holding On

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware that he is in fact dreaming. He wakes up and begins to tell his wife about the silly dream he just had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob as he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

You’re welcome,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 22 nd December, 2014 – 17:51**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Almost there!

What happens when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

*crickets*,

Blaine

-x-

**Friday, 23 rd December, 2014 – 16:22**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** YOU’RE DONE!

Why didn’t Jesus play hockey?

Because baseball and soccer are much more popular sports in Mexico,

Blaine

-x-

**Friday, 23 rd December, 2014 – 19:31**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** You are insane.

And yet, somehow I laughed every time.

Thank you for helping me survive this hell (if us sinners are really going to hell I imagine it’d look a lot like what I just went through). I can’t believe it’s over and I’m on the other side of things. Who was the disgusting idiot who thought putting all the evaluations in the same week was a good idea?! They couldn’t space them out over two weeks (even then I think it would be horrible, but a little bit better)?

Anyway, you were right. I feel so much better now that finals are over, and I think I’ll be manageably sad over Christmas! Definitely no crippling depression. And apparently I’ll have you to give me the worst jokes I’ve ever heard (read), and make me feel a little better (how?! How do you make me laugh with those?!).

And the fact that January will be spent creating three looks, instead of just studying and writing theory bullcrap! I’m so excited! I really think it’ll be a good last month! And maybe I could show you the making of those, and then the final product. But you’re not allowed to be critical (I’m kidding, please, always tell me what you think – it’s not like I’ll change anything if I think your ideas are stupid).

Are you home for the holidays yet?

I was talking about candle scent and ice-cream flavors!

Take your mind out of the gutter,

Kurt

-x-

**Friday, 23 rd December, 2014 – 19:40**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I MADE YOU LAUGH

I MADE YOU LAUGH?!? I MADE YOU LAUGH!!!

Ahah, I feel so accomplished in life! :D Me and my lame jokes will always be here for you, Kurt.

Also, I’m so happy that you’re feeling significantly better!

Oh my god, oh my god! Are you telling me I’m not only getting to see something you create, but also the process of creating it?! Weee! And I promise: no stupid ideas. I like my vogue, but I wouldn’t think of opening my big mouth for fashion advice. I’m so excited, Kurt! This is the perfect Christmas present!

My flight home is tonight, in just a little while. It feels like I barely had time to miss them, but I’m always happy to see them; it’s been a while since the surgery, so I think my mom won’t be too bad, and I’m sure my dad will have my back and keep her tame.

My mind wasn’t in the gutter until _you_ put it there,

Blaine

-x-

**Friday, 23 rd December, 2014 – 19:47**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Your ambitions in life are worrying

But I’m glad you feel accomplished so easily.

Jesus, Blaine, you sound more excited about my end of semester project than I am! (No, I’m kidding, I really am. It’s impossible for anyone to be more excited than I am! I think I have some ideas that are really worth going for and I can’t wait to bring them to life, and I’ve started designing it already! Ahajsdkdaa!!!!)

You can always tell your mom that I made sure you kept in line while you were away. I’m sure she’ll feel better once she knows she has an ally. However, even I’ll admit that it’s been enough time since the surgery that we can ease up on the fussing now.

And in quid pro quo fashion, I feel like you should know the insomnia has been better lately. I go to sleep around two am instead of four, now.

I said nothing that could’ve put your mind in the gutter if you didn’t already have the proclivity for it,

Kurt

-x-

**Friday, 23 rd December, 2014 – 23:31**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** What’s a better ambition than making someone happy?

Kurt,

I thought you understood my need to make other people happy! (holy shit, there isn’t an emoticon for pouting)

I get excited easily, granted. But mostly, I feel like I’m going to see a really big part of you and that’s what makes me so eager. Also, I do like fashion, Kurt. I may not want to make a career out of it, but I like clothes and I pay attention to detail. I’ll admit to a slight addiction to bow ties, but I promise they’re all super fancy, and most of them are classy and original! :)

I think she’s going to fall in love with you when I tell her about you. Either that or she’ll think you’re really a creepy old man on the Internet preying for victims.

Yes, well, or maybe it’s because _you_ were the one saying it,

Blaine

(Flight was okay, home now)

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 00:04**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I think Blaine just flat out flirted with me

I said something a while back that could, in a very loose interpretation, be seen as sexual. He told me to re-read it and that “one’s mind travels”. I told him I didn’t mean it like that, and advised him to get his head out of the gutter, to which he replied that I was the one who put it there. Today I told him that maybe he just has a tendency for the gutter already, and his reply was:

“Yes, well, or maybe it’s because _you_ were the one saying it”

We’ve said stuff before – mostly stuff like “you’re being cute” or whatever and “I can’t believe I found someone I can talk to like this”, but this is the first time that it really, really feels like he’s _flirting with me_.

Is he flirting? What does this mean?

Has he said anything to you?

Put me out of my misery.

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 00:12**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: I think Blaine just flirted with me

He was flirting.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,

Tina

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 00:14**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** TINNAAA

What does it mean?!!?!?

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 00:17**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** KUUUURT

The same way I didn’t tell him about your crush, I’m not going to betray his confidence either. He was flirting, and maybe you should just flirt back.

You should also go to sleep, it’s ridiculously late for you, Kurt.

(Rachel, I urge you to do the same as me.)

Xoxo

Tina

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 00:46**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Why, Mr. Anderson, I’m blushing!

Well, either way I’m glad you chose me as the object of your life passion for making people happy. (Why do I get the feeling you’d be adorable pouting?)

Bowties. _Bowties_ … Bowties! You’re killing me here, Blaine. I’ve never met anyone that appreciated them like they deserved.

I’m sure I’ll fall in love with your mom, too. In fact, I’m sure we’ll fall madly in love and she’ll leave your dad and I’ll turn straight and we’ll live happily ever after, bonding out of mutual concern for your health.

I can’t think of anything clever to say,

Kurt

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 00:59**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE

 **Attachments:** bowties.jpg

Granted, I know it’s been Christmas Eve for a while over there (seven hours, sorry, I got distracted), and I know you **_SHOULD_** be asleep by now! But it’s Christmas Eve! Weeee!!!

Anyway, first of all: Go to sleep and read the rest of this e-mail later.

The rest of this e-mail:

I know your Christmas/Christmas Eve is going to be far from perfect, but it doesn’t have to be horrible either. I have my phone with me and I’ll check my e-mail regularly. I’ll be your companion for the day, screw the distance. And tomorrow I can entertain you with fabulous tales of my grandmother and you can thank god you’re in Paris and not anywhere near the woman.

I swear, that my father turned out to be a good, decent man is nothing short of a miracle with a mother like that. It makes me love him so much more just to know he had to endure eighteen years in the same house as that woman.

Anyway, I’m glad I chose you, too. So far I haven’t regretted this decision, and I think you’re someone worth making happy. And I do look adorable when pouting, thank you for assuming. In fact I look adorable 97% of the time, just saying.

I love your enthusiasm for my bow ties. Check those babies out! I keep my favorite ones in NY, though.

Kurt, let me be clear about something. I would really hate it if you turned straight.

I still think you’re clever,

Blaine

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 06:32**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** MY DAD IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!

BLAINE,

MY DAD AND CAROLE ARE HERE TO SPEND CHRISTMAS IN PARIS WITH ME! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! THIS IS THE BIGGEST BESTEST SURPRISE EVER!

I’M SO HAPPY!

KURT

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 17:01**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** A slightly saner account of the day’s events

 **Attachments:** WP_0203405_03.mp4

Hi Blaine,

I woke up at ten am with my dad calling me and telling me to look out the window. It was insane. I had no idea!!! They were there and my heart just stopped! I cried so hard!

I just dropped them off at their hotel before coming back home. They were a little tired from their flight and the full day of walking around. And I’m a little tired from staying up into the night last night. In hindsight…

Anyway, after I sent you that e-mail, we took off for a day out on the town! They wanted to see everything, but they’re staying until the 26th so we still got a little time, and we’re taking it easy. Of course we went to the Eiffel tower and I did belt out that you were the best pen pal ever (see video – my dad is the worst camera man ever, though).

Because you are! You so are! Blaine, you’re so sweet to say those things! And for the record, don’t think you’ll get out of keeping your phone close and telling me all about your grandmother just because my Christmas doesn’t suck anymore. I still want to know!

You have fantastic taste in bow ties, Blaine. And finally, I’ve met the only other person in the world that color coordinates clothes. I’ll reserve judgment for your overall style until I’ve seen your actual clothes, but so far so good.

Well, just for you, seen as you’d hate it, then I won’t turn straight,

Kurt

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 17:48**

**From:** Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Catching up needed

Facebook chat or skype

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3

Best Regards,

Rachel Berry

NYADA Student for Musical Theatre

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 18:01**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Merry Christmas, Kurt

 **Attachments:** the_one_time.mp3

Technically it’s already Christmas day where you’re at, so you can have my present.

I’m glad you’re enjoying this Christmas (whoa, caps lock flashback to the first night we ever talked). It takes some pressure off this stupid ass present, but I still hope you’ll like it.

It’s entitled “The One Time (Kurt’s song)”

In case you have trouble understanding, here are the lyrics:

_I’m high as a kite_

_And I have to write a song_

_About the troubles that might arise_

_When you’re as fucking dumb_

_As to solemnly swear_

_“I’ll try everything once”_

_You might end up on drugs_

_And they’re addictive as hell_

_And you might commit a sin_

_Then you go straight to Hell_

_(I know that it’s cheating_

_when I rhyme hell with Hell)_

_The thing about trying_

_Everything once_

_Is that it’s dumb as fuck_

_You might see a prostitute_

_And then become diseased_

_And you might jump off a cliff_

_And bam, you’re deceased_

_You might commit a crime_

_And get sent to jail_

_Or you might hit your head_

_And think you’re a snail_

_The thing about trying_

_Everything once_

_Is that it’s dumb as fuck  
_

_(x2)_

 

_Oh it's a reckless way of life,_

_to try everything once, have to live with the results,_

_Oh it's reckless alright, god only knows_

_Cuz you might fall in love_

_And get your heart broken…_

_Or you might fall in love_

_And have your heart soarin'_

_So maybe that’s the one thing_

_You should give a good try_

_Even if it is_

_Just this one time_

 

(There has been some tweaking to the lyrics in the meantime, mainly the end, you know, but they’re still 70% written under the influence of painkillers as promised and very much obvious when I rhyme jail with snail)

May all your Christmases be white,

Blaine

-x-

**Saturday, 24 th December, 2014 – 19:13**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’m using my emergency Skype call now

Call me as soon as you see this e-mail. Even if it’s 4 in the morning here, I’ll be awake listening to your (my) song. My Skype username is Kurt.e.Hummel.

 _SEE_ you soon,

Kurt

-x-

A smile. “Hi…!”

A chuckle. “Hey you!”

A laugh. “Is this weird?”

“A little bit.”

“Good weird or bad weird?”

“The best weird.”

…

“So the hair gel… good enough?”

Pursed lips, a small nod. “It’s better.”

A grin. “It’s good.”

A twinkle in the eyes. “It’s better.”

“Admit it, it’s good. You like it.”

“It’s better.”

A challenge. “You love it.”

“It’s not outrageous.”

“You love my hair.”

A groan. A sigh. Slumped shoulders. “I love your hair.”

A triumphant laugh.

…

A yawn.

“Kurt, you should probably go to sleep…”

“No…”

“What time is it for you?”

“I don’t know,” a shrug, “Ridiculous o’clock.”

A smile, “I don’t want your parents to hate me when you meet up with them tomorrow impersonating a zombie. Even if you’ll be a nice smelling zombie.”

A laugh, “No, but seriously, Blaine. At this point it would be worse if I went to sleep.”

“If you say so…”

…

“Put your hand up to the camera! Closer!” a hand to the camera, “Never mind, I can’t see any lines!”

“I don’t have any lines?!” a gasp of fake horror, “Is it like the Butterfly Effect?! Was I not supposed to be born at all?! Should I go back in time and abort myself?”

A quirked eyebrow. “I think it just means that your webcam is crappy, Blaine.”

“Oh… That’s less exciting.”

A laugh. “I’ll read your palm when I come back, I guess.”

“But if you don’t read it now we won’t know if I’m supposed to die tomorrow, Kurt.”

“So…? We’ve been over this. If you die, come back as a ghost.”

…

“The roommate doesn’t mind you talking to me all night?”

“The roommate’s fast asleep, trust me.”

“That’s a talent I could kill for. I’m such a light sleeper, it’s terrible.”

“I think he takes it a little too far, though… One of these days he’s going to sleep through a house fire.”

A smirk. “Because you left your vanilla candles lit?”

A hesitation, a split second glare, a blush. “Exactly.”

…

“I should go take a shower and get ready… I’m supposed to meet my parents in less than two hours…”

“Take me with you…”

“Blaine!”

“To see Paris, not to the shower!” A laugh, “I’m not that easy, Kurt! I like to have a proper meal before I jump into anyone’s shower!”

“Oh, screw you.”

More laughing. “It really is adorable when you blush!”

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 03:47**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I wanted to send this at midnight

 **Attachments:** fpdesigns_skecth1.jpg

But I think it was worth it missing that deadline, if it meant staying on Skype with you.

(My dad will be so pissed when he realizes I stayed up all night talking to you, but I really don’t care)

My Christmas present to you. Keep in mind these are the first sketches – there’s still a lot to improve.

Good luck with grandma and keep me posted,

Kurt

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 03:56**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Happy Holidays

Hi girls,

First of all, I wish you a very merry Christmas (Tina) and a happy Hanukkah (Rachel).

Second of all, you should know that Blaine and I just spent the last five hours on Skype.

Third of all, I’m fucked well beyond reasonable. I don’t just have a crush on Blaine. I really, really, really like him. I’ve never felt like this before, and now that I’ve actually talked to him in real time, face to face, even if not in person, I can’t ignore how special he is for me. I really hope his flirting isn’t just for fun (I don’t think it is, and that’s mind blowing), because I’ll die if I don’t get to _be_ with him when I come back.

Fourth of all, he wrote me the stupidest, most amazing song; it was a joke we had a while back, because we agreed that the whole “Try everything once” lifestyle was stupid, and he said that the next time he was high on pain killers he would write a song about it and promised to dedicate it to me (this before any of us had any romantic feelings towards the other at all). A few weeks ago he said he’d written the lyrics already, but I never actually thought he’d go through with it! But he did and it’s beautiful and amazing and so much better than I could’ve imagined. It’s not just a stupid acoustic pseudo-song. NO. It’s huge, monumental and awe-inspiring. It’s so ridiculous! I’m going to die; it’s so sweet that he actually did it!

Fifth of all, he added a whole stanza advising me to fall in love “this one time” and it’s the end of the song and it’s very clear that he wrote that part completely sober, and he kind of said so too… “There has been some tweaking to the lyrics in the meantime, mainly the end, you know, but they’re still 70% written under the influence of painkillers”

Do you see the thing about Blaine? How can someone be so brave as to blatantly ask someone else to fall in love with them? I need him in my life…

Sixth of all, he’s so much more beautiful than I remembered from show choir competitions.

Seventh of all, when we were saying goodbye he said, “Oh, and Kurt, saying you’re cute is kind of an understatement, you know that, right?”

Eight and last of all, asdfghjklçsczhgdgfjakh

I can’t actually sleep,

Kurt

P.S.: I don’t think I need to ask you to keep all of this private, even from him.

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 12:06**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Are you shitting me?

Kurt,

Are you for real? Those are the _first_ sketches for the clothes you’re designing and making this January? They’re amazing! I want to have them! Actually, I need – I _physically_ need the navy blue blazer! It reminds me so much of my Dalton uniform, but a stylish, fitted version, so really: I **need** it! If I paid you for the fabric and your handiwork, do you think you could make me one? (At the risk of sounding like a self-centered douche: are the bow ties an homage to mine? I love them.)

You’re amazing.

I’m speechless.

I’m going to be friends with a talented and probably stupidly famous designer.

And I can’t believe we spent like five hours on Skype last night. I can’t even being to imagine how tired you must be today, and your parents are going to hate me for keeping you up all night instead of resting so you can go sight seeing today.

But on the other hand, I got to speak to you for five hours straight. Best Christmas, ever.

I can imagine your voice and your inflection when I’m reading your e-mails now. It’s not my imagination anymore, I actually get to know what you’d sound like or look like saying those things. Holy shit this is great.

Not even my grandma can ruin today for me.

Do you think Tina and Mike would go for a cat in the apartment?,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 14:46**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** “Blaine, you’re still studying that music thing?”

“Yes, grandma.”

“You kid’s coasting off on your parents’ money. You should grow up, Blaine. You’re not going to be your mommy’s little Honey-Bee for long. You need to know what real life and real work is like and learn the value of the things you have.”

And so it starts,

Honey-Bee

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 14:46**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** “Blaine, you’re still experimenting with those boys?”

“Yes, grandma, I’m still gay.”

“Well, as long as you like your weather boiling hot.”

“Yes, I’ve always wanted to go somewhere tropical for my honeymoon.”

“Honestly, Blaine! Just because you’re not as handsome as your brother, doesn’t mean you have to try so hard for attention. It makes you look desperate, my dear. It’s not very attractive. Some people were just made for the backstage, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Such a warm person,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 16:12**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** “Blaine, dear, you’re not wearing the sweater I got you.”

“It doesn’t look good with my skin tone.”

“You do have an ugly skin tone.”

“Nobody’s perfect.”

“Oh, honey, you’re far from it, too.”

The sweater was bright orange,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 16:19**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** “Boy, make yourself useful and make me a drink.”

“You’ve already had three drinks in half an hour.”

“You’re a homosexual, you don’t get to judge me.”

“Mother, you’re ancient, you don’t get to stay awake past four o’clock. Go take your nap and shut up.”

My dad to the rescue,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 17:27**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** What is wrong with that woman?!

Ugh, I hate mean old people! You can’t hit them because they’re old, but it’s so tempting.

Nobody looks good in a bright orange sweater; you’re stupidly talented don’t you dare give up on your dream; your skin tone is gorgeous; your face is most definitely not a backstage face (whatever that’s supposed to mean); we can always spend our eternity in Hell tormenting her together; a tropical honeymoon is a little cliché, Blaine, I’ll give her that.

HONEY-BEE

HONEY-BEE

HONEY-BEE

I think you broke me with your adorableness!

Let me just lie here and absorb the fact that your mom called you Honey-Bee. I think it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not even making fun of you; I honestly think it’s the best nickname.

Anyway, I just got home from the most exhausting day ever. But also very good. We went to a lot of places (and it’s kind of fun going back to the wide-eyed touristy kid I was when I first got here), and I’m not proud of the fact that I took a nap on a garden bench while the parental units went to visit the Louvre.

Blaine. The entire _look_ is a homage to you. The point of making three outfits is that we show that we can think of a cohesive concept and base our creations on that. I was a little stuck, too many ideas at once, and none of them really appealed to me, and then we started talking and I just knew I wanted to bring back old charm and gallantry, but make it modern.

And what do you mean you thought the sketches were your Christmas present? You made me a real song; I’m making you a real outfit. Quid pro quo.

When I come back I’m going to take your measurements (I don’t trust yourself, Tina or Rachel to do it properly) and give you whatever outfit you like best out of the three.

You’ll have to ask the two of them about the cat – but on a wild guess, yes. Are you thinking of getting a cat?

I think I’m a little bit in love with your dad now,

Kurt

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 19:30**

**From:** Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** ho ho ho!

Well, well, well!

Merry Christmas to _you_ , Kurt!

I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little bit jealous. Blaine’s kind of dreamy.

You deserve all the good things in life, though. I love you, sweetie, and it’s high time you found someone who can keep up with your drive, ambition and genius, and who’s got what it takes to make you happy. I hope Blaine’s that, and I have a good feeling he is.

I hope you had a nice Christmas with your parents! I had such a hard time not telling you all about it!

Anyway, You’re still going to tell me e-ve-ry-thing on Skype tomorrow.

Tina – Merry Christmas to you and to Mike as well. I still can’t believe you spent Christmas Eve with his family! It sounds so grown up! Let’s have brunch on Thursday, so you can tell me all about it.

I love you both very much.

Best Regards,

Rachel Berry

NYADA student for Musical Theatre

-x-

**Sunday, 25 th December, 2014 – 19:41**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** STOP trying to destroy my parents’ marriage!

Kurt,

No way! No way I’m letting you do that for me. That amount of fabric is going to be expensive as hell, and you’re going to spend ages sewing everything – and you already based it on me (holy shit, btw) and that’s as great a gift as anyone will ever give me, trust me. I could maybe let you give me the blazer, but not a shirt, pants and a bowtie as well. That’s insane and I can’t! I really can’t. It wouldn’t feel right, you know…

One stupid song doesn’t even compare to you making me a whole outfit!

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE it. I’m insanely in love with those designs and I would wear it everyday for the rest of my life if, you know, I could. I’m so happy you want to give that to me, and my hands were shaking just reading that you based it on me (HOLY SHIT), I’m just so honored you would do that. I’m so, so, so grateful. I mean, those looks are beautiful and I can’t believe you were thinking of me when you made them! But I can’t accept something so big, when I don’t feel like I’ve earned it. This isn’t quid pro quo, at all! It would’ve been if I’d had to pay for the instruments I used, or the studio time… or hell, if I’d made you a whole album, and, you know, actually wrote real songs about how amazing you are!

Please, reconsider it. Or at least let me pay for the fabric.

I’m sorry I never warned you how horrible I am about accepting gifts.

You can call me Honey-Bee, if you want. It’s not just my mom (and she still calls me that, btw); my dad also uses it every once in while, on the rare occasions that he’s actually trying to be verbally affectionate but can’t quite make it (i.e.: “have a good time in college, Honey-Bee” as opposed to “I’m proud of you, and I’ll miss you while you’re away, Blaine” – one who doesn’t know my dad might think he’s cold or distant, but the truth is you just need to learn to speak his language; once you do, he’s actually very sweet and very kind); and Coop uses it wen he desperately wants me to do something for him. I don’t really mind it – it could’ve been a lot worse, you know? Coop tried calling me Squirt for a while there, but thankfully it didn’t stick. :)

I’m so glad to hear you’ve both survived and enjoyed your Christmas day. I’m so jealous of you guys! What do you mean you get to go to the Louvre (and take a nap on a bench) on Christmas day?! Who does that (besides Parisians, I mean)? Lucky bastards, that’s who!

Kurt, I don’t actually care about my honeymoon destination. I was just sassing my grandmother – I thought you of all people would understand. -.-

You don’t have to hit my grandmother. I don’t care about her and her stupid mouth. How could I?! After last night? After your gift (which will be negotiated)? At this point, she just makes me laugh.

Kurt, I am so overwhelmingly happy to have met you, you have no idea. You’ve changed my life. A Skype call would be so frustratingly little right now and I just want a time machine to fast forward to the day you get here and I can touch you and make sure you’re actually real, because, you know… this is starting to feel too good to be true.

You shouldn’t actually hit _any_ one regardless of age,

Blaine

-x-

**Monday, 26 th December, 2014 – 17:27**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’m sorry! I just like it when people are good to you!

Honey-Bee,

Okay, first things first ( _I’m the realest_ ). If I want to give you something, I _will_ give you something.

I’m sorry I never warned you about how stubborn I am.

Second, don’t worry your pretty little head. The school pays for the fabric and materials, but we get to keep our favorite outfit out of the three. So I’d just tailor the one that I already have to make for school to your measurements and that’s that.

(Your panic attack was cute, though.)

And that song was amazing, don’t you dare badmouth my song!

Can you really blame me for wanting to marry both your parents when they do such endearing things? It’s just that the way they’re such good parents to you (or so it seems) makes me have a crush on them. I like it when people give you what you deserve (I mean, even Cooper’s a strong contender).

I think your family is adorable, Blaine. I think if there was a competition for America’s Most Adorable family you guys should compete. Between Cooper’s cancer (let’s be real here, everyone needs a sob story to win reality shows), both your donations, your dad going to Pride with you, HONEY-BEE, your mom’s fussing and (let’s be honest) your looks, you would kill the competition. You’d just need to make sure they never found out about the evil grandmother.

Oh god, I was so scared I’d be depressed this Christmas, and instead I’m just so happy. Everything just turned out magical. I mean, it’s still bittersweet because all the time we were going around Paris Finn’s absence was palpable, but it’s an ache I’m getting used to, and all three of us knew better than to wallow in it.

Between my parents showing up (I just came back from the airport after dropping them off), and your song, and just _you_ overall, I’ve never had my head turned upside down so much and so fast; and it felt amazing.

Knowing you feels amazing.

I think I can do definitely go for it, Blaine.

Just this one time,

Kurt

-x-

**Monday, 26 th December, 2014 – 17:24**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’M SQUEALING

Kurt,

You guys are adorable!

He’s not just handsome (told you so), he also smells _nice_! I thought living with two boys would be terrible, but they’re both super clean! Also, I think he’s sort of rich. I’m not even kidding, he brought a flat screen, a really nice stereo system, a bunch of really pretty, cool furniture, and all his clothes look hella expensive! You definitely need to nab him asap!

Rachel,

Absolutely! We’re on for brunch! Stop by when you wake up, I know Mike would love to have an opportunity to hear me make fun of his family ;) and then we can go do something, just us girls.

I’m sorry it took so long for me to reply, but I had a busy, busy Christmas.

LOVE YOU,

Tina

-x-

**Monday, 26 th December, 2014 – 22:41**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** But you breaking up their marriage would make me sad

Kurt,

You’re not allowed to say anything about falling in love with my parents. It’s weird and gross. Also, it makes me jealous. So… yeah.

Besides, if you broke up their marriage, not only would I be sad, but we wouldn’t get to have our “Adorkable Family” reality show, now would we? No one thinks divorced parents are cute. Especially if both parents run off with the same guy, who’s supposed to be gay, btw.

Which also reminds me: my mom likes you, too. I mean, my whole family likes you (or the idea of you, I guess), but she seemed particularly eager because she’s now decided you’re kindred spirits and she finally has an ally. You can all bond over how happy you make me! I am one happy guy!

I guess I can accept the outfit, given the circumstances. But are you sure you wouldn’t want to keep it for yourself, as a souvenir of your semester in Paris or whatever?

Fuck, I still can’t believe you based the whole look on me! You don’t even know how I dress, and yet it’s so spot on! How do you do that? Sometimes I remember that and I just stand there with my jaw dropped and my brain reeling. My parents think I’m having seizures, but no, I’m just having trouble believing you’re for real.

If only show choir competition committees were much more invested in fair play and made us all get to know each other before the shows.

I can’t believe this is real, you know… every time I’m reading a new e-mail from you I’m like, “is this actually happening or is it just in my head”?

However, if we keep talking about this (whatever it is, but I think I know what it is), I think I’ll die of frustration before you come back. Fuck my life.

Is this what it feels like to blush?,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 27 th December, 2014 – 11:27**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’m sure I want you to have the outfit, Blaine

I don’t know, Blaine, did you feel like your face was on fire? Because that’s what blushing feels like to me.

I bet you’re a cutie patootie when you blush.

So now you know how I felt about _my_ song ( ** _my song_**!).

I think whatever it is (I think I know what it is, too) is really happening. Or at the very least it’s not happening in _your_ head, because I feel it, too.

HOWEVER, I feel the same about the frustration. So… we should maybe just stop talking about it, and pretend it’s not happening?

So, tell me, your top three presents this Christmas.

Are you back in New York already?

We can always go back to discussing Gilmore Girls,

Kurt

-x-

**Tuesday, 27 th December, 2014 – 20:02**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** cutie patootie cracks me up every time

Hey,

That’s exactly what it felt like.

:) Thank you!

It’s still going to be hard not talking about it. I’m the opposite of my dad. I’m very verbose about my feelings. But okay, I can try.

1) A fantastic outfit in the making from a talented up and coming designer.

2) A beautiful, adorable ginger kitty cat, whom I decided to call Pirate, because she only has one eye and is a complete dork, from Coop.

3) A fucking amazing piano, from my parents (gotta love these post-surgery perks)

I have just arrived in NY, and Pirate is happily exploring her new home. She’s such a cutie patootie.

Give me your top three holidays movies!

I told you, I’m watching Will & Grace now.

Jesus Kurt, try to keep up,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 27 th December, 2014 – 11:27**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** confession time

I’ve never seen Will & Grace. I know it’s gay sacrilege, but for some reason it just went right over my head. I’ve never even seen more than five minutes. Should I?

Your brother gave you a cat? A cat with one eye?! See what I mean! You guys need to have a reality show. Blaine, send me pictures of the cat (and you)! (So I take it Tina and Mike said yes to the cat)

And what do you mean you get a piano for Christmas?!?!?!

1) It’s A Wonderful Life – I mean, come on. I mean. It’s THE Christmas movie. There’s no other that can compare. It’s perfect and I watch it every year with my dad.

2) Love Actually – every time I see it I fall in love with a different storyline. I don’t care if it’s corny or cheesy, it’s perfect and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it. And, yeah, I love the Liam Neeson and stepson’s storyline.

3) Nightmare Before Christmas – shut up, it’s amazing.

Is it terrible if I ask you the same question? I just really want to know!

Do you want the final outfit to be a surprise, or do you want me to show you the various versions of the sketches and such?

I’m so excited about these designs,

Kurt

-x-

**Tuesday, 27 th December, 2014 – 22:02**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** No, I don’t like that confession :(

 **Attachments:** [IMG_7162.jpg](http://a-simple-rainbow.tumblr.com/post/97607345829/illustration-for-chapter-5-of-is-it-weird)

YES, you should!!

I mean, granted, the show perpetuates some stereotypes, and as far as gay PDA goes, it’s a big ironic LOL – but you’ve got to understand it was one of the first shows that not only had gay characters – it had one MAIN gay character and another big supporting one (and many others smaller characters, of course). It’s ahead of its time in a lot of ways. And the gay thing is only twenty three percent of its appeal if you ask me. Grace is another fifteen percent, Karen is fifty-five and finally their whole dynamic as a group is the remaining seven percent. No, seriously, it’s one of my favorite shows, you gotta watch it!

YES MY BROTHER GAVE ME A CAT! Tell me it’s not the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen!

Sam, Mike and I just spent like two hours just petting and playing with her!!!!!! She loves it when Mike puts her inside his T-shirt! She goes ballistic! It’s like we’ve discovered the solution to every problem in the world. Even Wes can’t help falling for her charm!

And yes, my parents gave me a piano.

Maybe it’s time you know my family’s kind of rich and I’m a bit of a trust fund baby. I think I can tell you that now, and be sure that your affections for me are not misplaced, and that you’ve already developed an unbiased opinion of me and don’t automatically assume I’m a spoiled brat. BUT, the piano is also for my birthday, and it’ll stay in Ohio until I get a place of my own.

1) It’s A Wonderful Life – what? You’re not the only one who watches it every year.

2) The Life of Brian – I’m going to go on a limb here, since you seem to have a strange aversion to all things hilarious, and assume you haven’t seen this. It’s my dad’s fave (Monty Python is my dad’s fave everything – they’d be his favorite sons if he could get away with it and they weren’t older than him), and we used to watch it every Christmas evening just so he could annoy my grandma, and every three years he would give her the DVD for Christmas and she would throw a drink in his face and he would cackle and go change. So there’s also that. But seriously, watch it and pee yourself laughing.

3) Die Hard – shut up, it’s awesome.

Oh my god, Kurt. Sophie’s choice… Do I want the surprise or do I want to witness the genius at work?

I DON’T KNOW!,

Blaine

-x-

**Wednesday, 28 th December, 2014 – 22:29**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** No Internet until the New Year :(

But on the other hand, I’m going on a trip that’s supposed to be terrific! Besides, I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m back and I know you’ll just spam my inbox, like usual (and then I’ll pretend that it bothers me).

Die hard? No.

You’re a trust fund baby?! Did you spend your weekends at the country club? Oh my god, I’m laughing so hard, but it makes so much sense. (And Tina may have mentioned the appliances you graced the apartment with, the expensive clothes, and the suspicion that you might be a little bit rich).

You’re forgetting all the lame jokes you sent me during finals week. Forgive me if I’m a little apprehensive about whatever you might find pee-in-your-pants-laughing hilarious.

If you want to see the work in progress just let me know. Until then I’ll keep it to myself.

That photo…,

Kurt

-x-

**Wednesday, 28 th December, 2014 – 15:02**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** SPAM COMMENCE

No, I’m just kidding, no spam.

Make fun of my country club weekends all you want, but I’m the one with the piano.

Do you mean to tell me that I ruined all of my rec credibility because of my stupid jokes? Kurt, that movie’s legit funny! No, you know what? When you come back to the states, I’m chaining you to my (very nice, very expensive) couch and making you watch it, and then you’ll see I was right.

That good, huh?,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 29 th December, 2014 – 23:07**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I lied. SPAM, BITCH.

I didn’t.

I just forgot to wish you a nice trip and a Happy New Year!!!!!!!! Weeee! HUGS (and other stuff we’re not allowed to talk about)!

A little bit drunk,

Blaine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone mentioned having a friend with one kidney who couldn't get drunk. However, every research about it I made didn't mention any part of that beyond the expectable "take it easy", so... let's just assume Blaine can get drunk.


	6. Chapter 6

**Monday, 1 st January, 2015 – 13:02**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** khumel@gmail.com

 **Subject:** thankfully not as hung-over as I thought I would be

I gave my phone and my laptop to Mike, so he would hide them and I wouldn’t send you something embarrassing while in a state of altered consciousness (again).

So. First e-mail of the Year and it’s mine, BITCH!

I have no idea if you’re back yet, but I don’t care, I’m still taking credit for starting the rounds this year. And last year! I’m ruling this long-distance “ _friendship_ ” thing we got going on.

We had a massive party last night at our apartment. Between Tina and Mike (and your)’s and my friends it’s a miracle the building still exists. Wes says HIIII! And he’s sorry he hasn’t said hi again sooner, but that, despite what it seems, he’s really impressed we’re good friends (lol friends) and exchanging such meaningful stories, and that he’s only mildly jealous of my affections for you.

I had so much fun last night, and I was like drunk on life (and alcohol, let’s be fair) and loving everything about it!

Of course I had one regret… one wish… I missed someone enormously. But I’m not supposed to talk about it, so…

Anyway, I think last night we confirmed that there must be something wrong with Pirate because she just does not get scared! I’m telling you, there was a crowd last night and she was just happily prancing about, letting everyone pick her up and pet her and hug her and snuggle with her… she was just chilling. And I’m telling you, you can do whatever the hell you want, she will not attack you and the moment you put her down she will go back to you purring and asking for more. Kurt, I’m in love. She’s like a puppy in a cat’s body.

Before you say anything, I **am** taking it easy with the alcohol. 1) I’m a lightweight so I don’t need much to get a nice buzz, which granted was not the case last night, but it was the other night; 2) I’m not going to drink again until I absolutely have to.

My top three New Year’s Resolution – we both know you’re gonna ask, might as well beat you to it – are

1) Finish all the songs I’ve been playing with and work on making an album out of them

2) (Censored because we can’t talk about it)

3) Find and buy the absolute worst gift to my grandma and dethrone my dad as the worst-grandma-gift-giver.

Alright, quid pro quo, baby! I wanna know yours!

I’ve chosen to be surprised,

Blaine!

-x-

**Monday, 1 st January, 2015 – 15:12**

**From:** Katherine Humel (khumel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: thankfully not as hung-over as I thought I would be

Dear Mr. Anderson,

I believe you have mistakenly sent this e-mail to me. I’m glad to see you’ve been doing well after the surgery, though, as I didn’t get a chance to make sure of that after you got back to classes.

I wish you a happy New Year.

Hoping to see you again next semester,

Professor Katherine Humel

-x-

**Monday, 1 st January, 2015 – 15:17**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Katherine Humel (khumel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** My sincerest apologies

Dear Professor Humel,

My sincerest apologies for this inconvenience. That e-mail was definitely not meant for you, but for a friend with a very similar e-mail address.

Thank you for your concern; I’ve been doing very well and there have been absolutely no complications since then.

Anyway, you will be seeing me next semester, for sure.

I’m sorry again for this mix-up.

I wish you the happiest of years.

Best Regards,

Blaine Anderson

-x-

**Sunday, 1 st January, 2015 – 15:19**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Apparently more hung-over than I thought

Hey. So I just sent the following e-mail to my professor.

\---- Original Message -----

Sent: Sunday, 1st January, 2015 – 13:02

From: Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

To: khumel@gmail.com

Subject: thankfully not as hung-over as I thought I would be

I gave my phone and my laptop to Mike, so he would hide them and I wouldn’t send you something embarrassing while in a state of altered consciousness (again).

So. First e-mail of the Year and it’s mine, BITCH!

I have no idea if you’re back yet, but I don’t care, I’m still taking credit for starting the rounds this year. And last year! I’m ruling this long-distance “ _friendship_ ” thing we got going on.

We had a massive party last night at our apartment. Between Tina and Mike (and your)’s and my friends it’s a miracle the building still exists. Wes says HIIII! And he’s sorry he hasn’t said hi again sooner, but that, despite what it seems, he’s really impressed we’re good friends (lol, though) and exchanging such meaningful stories, and that he’s only mildly jealous of my affections for you.

I had so much fun last night, and I was like drunk on life (and alcohol, let’s be fair) and loving everything about it!

Of course I had one regret… one wish… I missed someone enormously. But I’m not supposed to talk about it, so…

Anyway, I think last night we confirmed that there must be something wrong with Pirate because she just does not get scared! I’m telling you, there was a crowd last night and she was just happily prancing about, letting everyone pick her up and pet her and hug her and snuggle with her… she was just chilling. And I’m telling you, you can do whatever the hell you want, she will not attack you and the moment you put her down she will go back to you purring and asking for more. Kurt, I’m in love. She’s like a puppy in a cat’s body.

Before you say anything, I **am** taking it easy with the alcohol. 1) I’m a lightweight so I don’t need much to get a nice buzz, which granted was not the case last night, but it was the other night; 2) I’m not going to drink again until I absolutely have to.

My top three New Year’s Resolution – we both know you’re gonna ask, might as well beat you to it – are

1) Finish all the songs I’ve been playing with and work on making an album out of them

2) (Censored because we can’t talk about it)

3) Find and buy the absolute worst gift to my grandma and dethrone my dad as the worst-grandma-gift-giver.

Alright, quid pro quo, baby! I wanna know yours!

I’ve chosen to be surprised,

Blaine!

\-----

I’m dying! I’m dead.

Excuse me while I go light myself on fire now,

Blaine

-x-

**Monday, 1 st January, 2015 – 17:32**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’m cackling

Oh Blaine!

This is such a karma lesson for you. You make a competition out of our thing; you break our agreement of not talking about it, not once, not twice, but THREE times (saying “I can’t say what I wanna say, because we agreed not to talk about it” isn’t exactly not talking about it); you were smug about the photo; you were beyond smug about your family money. You plastered yourself drunk (twice in a week). You called me bitch twice.

It’s like you were just asking for it, Blaine! Go light yourself on fire all you want, but you brought this upon yourself.

Also, judging from the e-mail I think you weren’t hung-over so much as you were still drunk.

My trip was amazing! We went to check out the Alps and it was so beautiful! And the little villages and houses there are adorable! I just wanted to stay there for a month, cooped up, creating my looks and enjoying absolute and complete peace (but then that would be a month with no internet connection, so… no).

1) Watch Will & Grace

2) Watch less bad reality TV: stick to just Long Island Medium, The Real Housewives and Project Runway (maybe America’s Next Top Model, too).

3) Visit more places and get out of the house more

Your cat sounds about as dumb as you.

I want to meet her,

Kurt

-x-

**Tuesday, 2 nd January, 2015 – 15:19**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** You’re being mean

I’m gonna cry, you’re so mean.

No, I’m kidding, you’re right. I think I was a little bit drunk writing the e-mail. Poor lonely kidney, doing overtime work. Apparently tequila brings out a competitive douchebaggy streak in me? I have no idea what that was about.

I have no excuse for the rest, though! :P Except that I did warn you about my inability to keep my feelings to myself, Kurt. I’m doing my best, here, cut me some slack! So……

Uhh, I’m so glad you had fun on your trip! I’ve seen pictures of the Alps and it definitely looks like a must-see, and I can’t imagine how beautiful it must be in the dead of winter all covered up in snow! Did you go skiing?

You know, I’m sure you have friends in Paris, but you never talk about them! What is that about?

Those are great resolutions, especially the first and the third. The second one confuses me. Four reality shows are downscaling your addiction?! How much reality TV _do_ you watch? Am I missing out on something amazing or is it just dangerously addictive?

I’m going to stop watching Will & Grace and wait for you, I want to try and remember what it’s like to watch it for the first time. We can watch it together, and I’ll re-live it vicariously through you.

I’m not dumb,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 2 nd January, 2015 – 18:19**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Blaine, you are the dumbest

But that’s alright – some people are allowed to be dumb, because they’re cute, too, so it becomes endearing instead of annoying.

I never talk about them? I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but I think you’re right. Even when I’m talking with Rachel and my dad, I don’t mention them often… What _is_ that about?! I mean, I guess that I feel like these are temporary friendships. I feel like this is all temporary and I don’t want to get attached. That sounds terrible, but it’s just… I’m enjoying everything about it, and I’m having fun and I can honestly say that I’ve _lived_ in Paris; but I definitely feel like this isn’t forever. I don’t just know it on a merely rational level, I absolutely feel that it’s going to end soon (and I’m glad that it will). As great an experience as it’s been, I need to go back to NY and to the life I have there, because that’s definitely the one I love.

I mean the little gang I found here is great, and we have fun, and I hope we’ll stay in touch after this, but we’re all from such different places and I know it’s gonna be hard to stay close afterwards, and after what I went through missing my parents, Rachel, everyone (you)… I don’t want to go through that again. So I guess, I’m just trying not to get too attached.

Reality TV is both captivating and addictive. I’m serious. It’s like a therapy session and entertainment all rolled up into one. Watching it makes me feel so much saner and like my life is going in the right direction. Which I realize is a terrible thing to say, but I’ve got to be honest: I’m judgmental. I’m a judgmental person, and at least with Reality TV I can judge people that kind of signed up for it.

So, if I’m going to watch Will & Grace with you, you’re going to watch my shows with me.

Get ready to say “What the fuck?” a lot,

Kurt

-x-

**Wednesday, 3 rd January, 2015 – 19:19**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Is this our second pact in the making?

Reality shows in exchange for Will & Grace? I guess I can live with that.

That makes so much sense, Kurt. I’m glad you’re having a nice, enriching experience over there, but it’s definitely a good thing that you’re ready to come back, and that it’s helped you define what you want out of life.

And if you really want to stay in touch with those guys, you can! I mean, make sure you e-mail them once every two weeks, or something like that. It’s not impossible just because you guys are moving back to your various different origin points. I mean, look, who’d have thought you’d find a friendship via mistaken e-mail? If you can create this while dealing with long distance, you can definitely maintain a friendship. Obviously, they’re not going to be your best friends for life, but you don’t have to let go of them completely, either.

Besides, if you want to visit their hometowns they’ll come in handy when you don’t really want to spend a fortune on a hotel.

To celebrate how judgmental you are (it must’ve been tough agreeing to a judgment-free zone with me) what's the worst movie ever?

Talk about judging, though. I went shopping with Rachel, this afternoon. The woman is crazy. How does she have the clothes that she has with that taste?

It’s like she zeroes in on the ugliest sweaters,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 4 th January, 2015 – 17:45**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** The answer to that mystery

Would be Kurt Hummel.

Yes, that’s right. When we moved to New York, every month I would throw away two of her ugly outfits and accompany her shopping for the replacements (it took a year before most of her wardrobe was as gorgeous as it is now). She’s not to be trusted alone on a shopping trip. I’m glad you were there (even though she kind of promised me she wouldn’t go shopping while I was away, but that’s an issue I gotta discuss with her), but I’m still a little fearful. She’s gotten significantly better, though: you do not want to know what she looked like all through high school.

Yes, you’d know all about saving fortunes while travelling, wouldn’t you Blaine? I bet you really compromise on those hotel rooms not to waste any money… it must be a real bummer all those four star hotels to save up (I tease, I tease… you’re right and I’ll definitely do my best to keep in touch)!

It wasn’t all that tough agreeing to that because I’m still judging you, just not voicing it, since.........:

The worst movie ever is Die Hard. I may just be teasing you about this one. Or I might actually hate Bruce Willis’ inability to act, and get annoyed with all the action sequences and the stupid one-liners… you’ll never know. Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!

Oh man, I could keep going for hours…

Don’t even try to hide it, I know you’re just as judgmental (I mean, go read what you said about Rachel).

Hit me up with yours,

Kurt

-x-

**Friday, 5 th January, 2015 – 18:11**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** You’re judging me?!?!

Kurt,

No!!! Stop! You’re going to make me self-conscious!

But yes, I’ll admit, the other day I spent an entire afternoon silently judging Rachel. And apparently you’re a miracle worker! Anyway, she needed a gown for the Spring NYADA showcase (apparently she needs to rehearse her performance already in the gown months in advance…?), and I did my best to keep her focused on the task, and we found her something light and delicate, but also energetic and vibrant, you know, just like her. She looks amazing in turquoise, by the way. It was so much fun!

I’m going to ignore the jabs you keep taking at my family’s wealth.

Um, we've discussed this, Kurt. Mulholland Dr. It makes no sense. It’s just artsy and they throw a little lesbian action in there to keep it sexy. I don’t get what all the fuss is about.

Tell me about your life-long dreams, but the stupid ones. The ones you don’t tell anyone because they’re ridiculous. I want to know those.

I want to know everything,

Blaine

-x-

**Saturday, 6 th January, 2015 – 17:45**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Don’t be!

Just because I’m judging doesn’t mean I judging it badly… Besides, I know you know I was kidding.

Mulholland Dr is a good choice. I feel like it's better than mine, because it's just so overrated, that saying that has more impact and makes you braver. Is it the same with your most hated TV show?

That’s Rachel for you! But I don’t even understand how she knows she’ll be in the Spring Formal. They hand out the invitation a month in advance, no more, no less. No, wait, scratch that, I know exactly how she knows.

Unparalleled ego.

Oh my gosh,… I don’t know if I have any stupid dreams (besides the ones I already told you – breaking up with someone in public, re-enact 99% of The Notebook, etc)… I mean, I’m still working on talking my dad into hiring some guy in a suit to come pick me up at the airport because that’s about the coolest thing ever. Ooh! I also have this dream of finally being able to actually make good bids on auctions of things like Elizabeth Taylor’s jewelry, (nowadays I just sit there on my computer watching it happen, sighing and pretending I could ever afford it). And I want to meet the British Royal family and write a musical about Pippa Middleton! And I suppose, if you think it’s stupid, I’ve always wanted to dye my hair something shocking (but stylish), but I don’t think I’ll ever have the guts to do it.

I’m curious. I just know you’ll have the dumbest stupid dreams ever.

Share,

Kurt

-x-

**Saturday, 6 th January, 2015 – 22:51**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I’ll hold your hand while you dye the hair

Support is important, and I’ll always provide it for you. And if you don’t like it and regret it, I’ll shave your head myself, and shave mine too so you don’t feel alone. Yes, that’s a cancer joke; and yes, I’ve done it before but I was too young to understand what I was really agreeing to and I spent the next two days bawling my eyes out.

Ahahah, does it _have_ to be a competition? Um, I'm afraid my most hated show is not overrated - I'm pretty sure it's conventionally regarded as bad. Private Practice? I don't know. I'm super picky with medical shows (for obvious reasons) and this one is just.... too much drama and not enough breathing room. Also, they killed off their only adorable character, Dell; and turned the breath of fresh air that was Charlotte into a whimpering mess of a victim. No. Just no. I dunno. Yeah, that's be the one.

I’m looking forward to the day that I can honestly say I own one hundred bow ties. I want to voice a Disney Prince/Hero/Whatever/A shrubbery would be okay with me. I dream of being locked up in a mall for a night and just go berserk and have too much fun. I kind of want to have sex on every single piece of my grandmother’s furniture just out of spite and not tell her and watch her sit comfortably on her couch. I want to collaborate on a song with Justin Timberlake.

Just to name a few,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 7 th January, 2015 – 18:00**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Life is a competition, you snooze you lose

I’m never shaving my head. However I might become a hermit for whatever time is recommended to wait before dying your hair again and you, Rachel and Tina could come up with a rotation system to keep me company.

That was the cutest story though - poor little Blaine goaded into shaving his hair, but hey, it probably saved your parents a fortune on hair gel (not that they'd miss the money, right?).

How do you know so much about Private Practice if you hated it so much?

90201 is that for me. Rich white people complaining about literally anything...? (What’s that about me making fun of your family’s wealth?) But also, the piéce de resistance, was the token gay character that breaks _all_ the stereotypes, which is such a Hollywood cliché…  I mean we get it, he’s gay, but he’s not _gay_ , so _he_ ’s okay! It's so infuriating that in Hollywood that are only two types of gays: the comic relief ones that meet all the stereotypes and never get to find a love connection of their own; or the straight dude who happens to like other boys, and it's oh so tragic because his dad will never accept him.

You voicing a Disney prince isn’t a stupid dream – hold on to that one because I actually believe it can come true. I’d really love it if it did! And the collab with Justin can also happen, maybe… I can light a candle for you if you want (no, but seriously, you’re crazy talented, anything could happen). I'll make sure it's a vanilla candle, too.

You might be addicted to bow ties, Blaine, and if you have a problem you should get help (even if I like them on you, there’s not need to go overboard).

On EVERY piece of furniture?!

I start actually working on my final project tomorrow! Excitement!

Can I see pictures of your baldness?,

Kurt

-x-

**Sunday, 7 th January, 2015 – 22:43**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Eeeeeeck!

I still want to be surprised but I’m still so, so, so curious! Weeee!

Why does anyone know anything about the things they hate? Morbid curiosity, of course! No, but really, my housekeeper would take a break every afternoon just to watch it, while my parents weren’t home yet. Sometimes I watched it with her while I worked on my homework, but mostly I just kept her secret and made sure the TiVo recorded it for her.

Don’t even think of making fun of me for having a housekeeper. I know how to make a bed.

Ahahaha, 902101, why didn’t I think of that?! Such whining indeed! And I hear you about the representation thing... it's fucked up that there's barely any middle ground. Neither of those models are wrong, but they shouldn't be the only thing on screen. I guess, we'll get there one day.

You promise there’s a real chance I could voice a Disney character? It’s a big deal for me, we didn’t just grow up with Disney movies, Coop and I would use them as a way to escape everything else. We know every song by heart, we have choreographies… It’s just… Disney, you know?

Obviously I wouldn’t need to do all the furniture in one day! One room a week… I could just calmly make my way through every room in the house while she was in Sunday mass. But we’re paying too much attention to this; it was mostly just a joke. I would settle for just her couch (and I wouldn’t go near her bed).

I don’t carry pictures of my baldness with me.

And that’s just another reason why you can’t meet my mother,

Blaine

-x-

**Monday, 8 th January, 2015 – 17:43**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I went fabric shopping today!!!

Hey,

So, if you wish you’d picked my show that means I win this time (just let me have this).

Blaine, I’m serious, you’re one of the most talented people I know (and that’s saying a lot because my glee club was a cesspool of talent), and I got that from just one song you wrote as a joke, and two high school show choir competitions. I can’t imagine what it’s like when you’re performing for real, nowadays. I truly think that with your talent, your brain and ambition you can do whatever you want! You have a really nice singing voice, but you also have a beautiful speaking voice and your diction is near perfect. Start going to castings for voice work and I’m sure you’ll start getting gigs, which will look great on a resume.

And when you’re famous your agent can at least say you’ve got experience when he/she’s badgering Disney producers to cast you.

You can do anything you want, I promise. You just need a plan. Just like you have one for your grandmother’s furniture (for someone who’s just joking, you got it all figured out, don’t you?).

I’m having such a hard time not mentioning the housekeeper, though. You watched it with her and TiVo’ed it for her? Were you friends with the housekeeper?! Is this like in the movies where the son from the rich family rebels against tradition and befriends the help, leaving everyone horrified?

Obviously your mother and I need to meet,

Kurt

-x-

**Tuesday, 9 th January, 2015 – 20:54**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** You know what?

You’re a mean person, and you’re just jealous I got a piano for Christmas.

(but thank you about the pep talk and The Plan thing, you’re right; and also, if it’s up to me you can have it all, Kurt.)

Get back to me once you’re over it,

Blaine

-x-

**Wednesday, 10 th January, 2015 – 17:38**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** No, you know what I just figured out?

We’re a real life version of The Notebook. Just think about it, me the son of a poor working-class family, who’s proud and unapologetic of his heritage, with a proclivity for design (mine for clothes, his for houses and decoration) and just as devastatingly handsome as Ryan Gosling. And then you, from your big, fancy family, dishonoring their (your grandmother’s) beliefs and traditions (in more than one way, hooray for you) and refusing to conform to their expectations for you, whilst being cute and endearing like Rachel McAdams.

Now all that’s missing is a Ferris wheel and a dashing James Marsden trying to take you away from me. No, wait! The other man part already happened… He just wasn’t dashing (at least from where I was standing). And your grandmother needs to start deleting my e-mails before you see them, so that I think you forgot all about me and drive myself crazy working on clothes that remind me of you and the promises we once made.

It all adds up so well.

No, but really, I’ll stop making fun of your hard-earned money,

Kurt

-x-

**Thursday, 10 th January, 2015 – 21:48**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I swear to god

You know, some people would kill to date someone with the social pedigree of my family. And there you are, making fun of it at every turn.

Granted, your little Notebook joke was funny and I may have laughed multiple times, but this needs to stop.

Okay, fine it doesn’t… because it’s funny.

But can I be really honest and just dump a bunch of nasty, probably horrible thoughts on you? (especially after what we both just said about 90210) So, please know this is not about you, or about your jokes in any way… but it’s been on my mind a lot, especially since I moved to NY, and… maybe you might understand, or, you know, at least not think I’m despicable.

This thing about me being rich and all, and how some people use that against me (not talking about you, really!)… It does make me slightly uncomfortable. I know I was very lucky to be born into the family that I was – I’m so lucky to have lived all my life with the kind of financial security that most people can’t even dream of, and to have loving, caring parents on top of that. But I also don’t take it for granted. I let my parents help me out with tuition, rent, allowance, whatever – but I’m not planning on letting it go on forever and I’ve always worked hard in school and outside to be my own person. My first guitar and my first piano I bought them myself, with money I earned babysitting and tutoring around the neighborhood. They were pretty crappy, but they were well-earned.

And when I have my own kids I hope that I can give them the same comfort and opportunities that my parents gave me, so that they can step out into the world with the necessary tools to make something out of themselves. Isn’t that what it’s supposed to be like?

I know I don’t want to be like my grandmother… I want to be someone decent and worthwhile, but does that have to be _despite_ the fact that I come from money?

A lot of times I feel like I need to apologize for being born into it, and maybe I do. I don’t know. This feels horrible and disgusting to me… standing here, a white rich man making it sound like the world is horrible to me, you know. That’s not it at all…! I’m not a victim and I’ve never felt like it! I guess maybe one of the reasons this issue makes me so uncomfortable is exactly because I don’t know what to feel about it. I get defensive and then I remember that being made fun of or even criticized for being rich is the least of anyone’s concerns. This privilege that I have, for better or for worse, is always going to be a big part of who I am and I can’t help it, but I honestly hope that it can just help me be better and help others be better too.

Does any of this make sense to you? Because most days it doesn’t to me. If taking a couple of jokes is the price I pay for my privilege I’m just going to suck it up, because come on…! _Look around, Blaine!_

Listen, Kurt, ignore me. I’m just talking in circles trying to understand what about it makes me so uncomfortable… It’s strange that this was the last “big” thing about my life that I told you, isn’t it? I just can’t put my finger on how I feel about it and about the way people perceive me for it and I guess that makes me uncomfortable.

Don’t take this the wrong way, Kurt. I’m not mad! I’m not mad, at all, and most of your jokes were funny and I know that they were just that. I’m just having one of those days where my brain is conspiring against me and it just started vomiting the shittiest stream of consciousness ever. And I guess if I want someone to hear/read it, it’s you.

I almost don’t want to send this e-mail. It feels like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Oh god…

Besides The Notebook was already very well re-enacted by my parents (genders switched, of course) and it was equal parts epic and (at the time) kind of painful for both of them.

I shit you not,

Blaine

-x-

**Friday, 11 th January, 2015 – 18:55**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Holy shit

So, I’m sorry.

I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable about it. They really were just jokes, and I don’t think any of those things about you. I don’t think any of the stereotypes apply to you; you’re not lazy, or selfish or a crook. I don’t think you should be ashamed of your origins, either. I mean, 99% of the world would kill to be in your shoes, so be proud of it, if anything…?

All in all, I don’t see you as a “rich, white man”. I see you as a man, whom I like very much, and who, among many things, happens to be rich.

Having said all that in apology… I do think some of the things you said made sense, but mostly the part about you not knowing how to feel about it. Let’s put it this way – do you have the right to be upset over the way people judge you on account of your social-economical status? I honestly don’t know.

I might tease you about it, but it’s not like I was ever starving or scarce on money. Sure I had to work a few shifts at my dad’s garage so I could save up to buy certain expensive clothes, but I’m not exactly struggling either. We’re both privileged white people. Who’re we to talk about the political correctness of being rich? I really, honestly don’t know, Blaine.

I’ve actually never thought about this… Any of it… Not about you and definitely not about me.

And I think a lot of these issues have to do with the fact that most families you used to cross paths in the country club couldn’t give two shits about decency and fairness.

I guess it’s like you say: just make sure you use your privilege to make the world a little better, instead of wallowing in your white guilt, and you’re good to go.

If you were uncomfortable you were right to say so, and you should’ve just said it sooner. I know I can be a little brazen sometimes, but I never want to make you feel that way! On the other hand, I’m happy you’re comfortable enough to talk to me about it. Thank you for sharing even the parts of yourself you’re not entirely sure or proud of.

So… all jokes aside, I need to meet your parents,

Kurt

-x-

**Saturday, 11 th January, 2015 – 19:37**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I knew I kept you for a reason

Hey,

First of all, like I said, you didn’t make me uncomfortable at all. You have nothing to apologize for. I promise. I was just venting.

Thank you for making me feel less like a douchebag for saying all that stupid crap. Because to answer the question you so eloquently put – No, I don’t think I have a right to be upset over it. But I still kind of am. This is never going to be talked about ever again. This is the definition of first world problems and I’m freaking myself out being such whiny jackass. Ugh! Let me just get up and shake this whole topic off my body because there’s nothing to do about it other than go about my life with decency and generosity and trying not to be a giant asshole and whine about problems that aren’t real problems.

…

Okay, all shook off.

You worked in your dad’s garage? He’s a mechanic? You know how to fix cars? You wear grey overalls with grease stains? You get grease stains on your face? Should I keep going?

Care to share with me the exact date of your homecoming?

I almost want you guys to meet, just so I can see what happens. Especially you and my mom.

Some kind of world explosion probably,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 12 th January, 2015 – 11:04**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Friends lie for each other

Hey girls,

Do me a favor and lie to Blaine if he comes asking about my flight back home. He wants to know when I’m coming back, but I was kind of thinking of surprising him, so, I pretty much need you guys to lie to him and tell him I’ll be back on the 29th if he asks. Spread the word to anyone else who might snitch.

Thanks!

Kurt

-x-

**Sunday, 12 th January, 2015 – 14:55**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Did you really get up and shake yourself?

You probably did. Goober.

You’re more than welcome. But you’re absolutely right. It’s just one of those thoughts that’s better left in private (even though I love that you shared it with me). You can’t help getting upset over it, but you can stop yourself from acting as if you have the right to be any victim in that situation. (Still, it was an interesting conversation and I don’t think you’re a whiny jackass; having a moment of it, and being one are different things)

Blaine…….. That’s dangerously close to the subject we agreed not to talk about!

But yes, my dad’s a mechanic and I know how to fix cars (the basic stuff, at least) and I do have overalls, but they’re washed frequently and I avoid grease stains like it’s the plague (even though they do get everywhere, including my hair).

My homecoming will occur on the 29th. Holy shit, less than twenty days left.

The making of the outfits is coming along so well,

Kurt

-x-

**Sunday, 12 th January, 2015 – 20:26**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I did… :P

I’m glad I talked about it with you, too.

I know it was verging on breaking the rules, Kurt, but don’t think I didn’t notice the way you pulled your hair into the conversation, you sneaky little tease. You know you have gorgeous hair, and you know it probably looks amazing all mussed up with grease streaks and stuff. Now, _I_ didn’t say anything about your hair… You brought that up all on your own.

29th? Okay, I’m free that day, so it’s all good ;) How do you feel about surprise parties? :P

Kurt I’m so excited about the outfits! Question… how do I choose my favorite if I can’t see them because I want it to be a surprise? Answer, I don’t. I trust you to make the right choice.

Seventeen days: so little and yet too much.

I should probably start thinking of using my Skype call,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 12 th January, 2015 – 21:16**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: Friends lie for each other

Sure thing! (Rachel’s here, she agrees to it, too)

What kind of surprise are you thinking about?

xoxo

-x-

**Monday, 13 th January, 2015 – 15:04**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I accept suggestions

But I was thinking just going to sleep when I get there on the 25th and then the next day just being at you guys’ place when he comes back from wherever. You and Mike could conveniently disappear before he gets home, too. Just a thought…

Thanks!

Kurt

-x-

**Monday, 13 th January, 2015 – 15:17**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** That it’s not a surprise if I’m expecting it

Blaine,

You don’t ask a person what their thoughts are on surprise parties. Anyway, I’m okay with surprises, as long as they’re nice surprises. But if that was your, Tina and Rachel’s way of asking me if you can organize a welcome home party for me, when I’m fresh out of the plane, I’m not sure. I’ll be really tired from the flights, so I’ll probably want to hang out with just a few people for a little while (bask in the glory of being with you guys), but then I’ll need to go to sleep. So, maybe leave the surprise party for the day after when I don’t look and feel like a sleepy mess?

Why, Mr. Anderson, I’m blushing at the implication! I have no idea what you’re talking about…

Like there’s any doubt what outfit would be your favorite. I know your type, Blaine Anderson, you dapper gentlemen are suckers for nostalgia.

I’d love it if you would,

Kurt

-x-

**Monday, 13 th January, 2015 – 22:41**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject: *** Are* we planning a surprise party?

Are we _not_? You’ll never know, Kurt. Never. Because it might happen on 29 th, it might happen two days later… it might happen on the 31st of August, you’ll just never know.

I think everyone’s okay with surprises as long as they’re nice surprises, Kurt. It’s the bad surprises people have mixed feelings about. :P

I like surprises, too, just so you know… just putting it out there.

Speaking of surprises – Tina had a haircut and she looks gorgeous! Wait till you see it, it’ll blow your mind.

If you’re blushing that probably means something, no? You knew what you were saying. Just like you knew it when you were talking about vanilla flavors. You’re teasing me, Hummel, and that’s breaking the rules.

I’m holding out for a day when I really feel like it’s going to make a difference,

Blaine

-x-

**Tuesday, 14 th January, 2015 – 15:12**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** So today sucks

I stayed in the workroom as late as I possibly could but we’re only allowed to work in shifts and I had the morning shift. I guess not even work’s going to save me from today.

It’s Finn’s birthday.

As if that wasn’t bad enough talking to Rachel and my parents was brutal.

I’m just…. I can’t with today.

If you see Rachel today, give her a tight hug. Tina and Mike and everyone else could probably use one too.

God knows I do,

Kurt

-x-

**Tuesday, 14 th January, 2015 – 17:01**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Skype

I just saw your e-mail. As soon as you’re on-line call me. I’ll be here waiting for you. We don’t have to talk about Finn, we don’t have to talk about anything you don’t feel like. Please just call me.

Hug,

Blaine

-x-

“..and of course he finishes his entire pep-talk with ‘the show’s gotta go all over the place’”

A chuckle. “What?!”

“Anyway, it worked. We got on that stage and we just gave it our all, each of us… I mean, it’s not the best feeling in the world, performing to five people in the audience, all of whom are either booing or throwing stuff at us. But at least we held our ground.”

A frown. “What were they throwing at you?”

A groan and a chuckle. “Half eaten candy, mostly.”

A wrinkled nose. “Ugh.”

“I know…” A sigh. “But that’s not the point. The point is: that’s the kind of group we were. Actually, that’s the kind of leader he was. He wasn’t the smartest, or even the most talented in all of us. But he always tried to do the right thing, and I guess you can’t really ask for more than that…”

“No, you can’t.”

…

“Snow white is the absolute worst… I mean, who’s the asshat that’s cheerfully riding his horse through the fields, stumbles across a complete stranger’s wake, and then decides to stop because apparently that’s what you do when you see a stranger’s wake you stop and say hi. And then, as he notices that the deceased woman is pretty he kisses her. He kisses a dead person. It doesn’t matter that she wasn’t really dead, because he thought she was, and he still kissed her. It’s just gross all over. And then they get married.”

A fond, amused smile. “In fairness, Kurt, they had met before, and sang a duet. Which as far as I’m concerned is the Disney equivalent of sex. So…”

“All the more reason! I mean, they had _just_ met!”

“So? It’s their life! Stop judging!”

“Kids were watching, Blaine!”

…

“He’s got stuff he’s not telling you, Kurt… He’s painting a picture that’s not true. You need to be careful.”

“Shut up, Mike.”

“No, I’m serious! You think he’s charming, just wait until you set the table with two different sets of silverware. He’ll go berserk.”

“But of course!” an incredulous look, “Why would you use two different sets of silverware at the same time? What are you savages? Do you not know how to set a proper table, Mike?”

Barks of laughter, “So that went well for you!”

“Okay, but did you know that Blaine-“

“No, seriously, Mike, stop it.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say!”

“I will murder you in your sleep.”

“See? That is exactly the kind of behavior he’s not showing you, Kurt. You’ve got to be careful with this one. He’s shifty.” Leaning, whispers between Blaine and Mike. A blush on Mike. A groan. “Forgive me, Kurt, I was lying. Blaine’s perfect, and kind, and brave, and intelligent, and everything worth being in life.” Leaning, another whisper, “And super tall.”

…

“On some level I’m almost glad that we didn’t live with each other, at the end… Because it means that the last time I saw him I did say goodbye, and I hugged him and I told him I loved him…”

“If you lived together, you think you wouldn’t have…?”

“If we lived together, maybe my last words would’ve been something stupid, like nagging him about the laundry. I’d hate it…” A shrug, “But on the other hand… I wish I’d had more time with him, you know? Even if it was bickering or even fighting… All the time we were apart before he died feels a little wasted… If that makes any sense?”

A nod and a sad smile, “It does. But… I don’t know, I think maybe the mark of really loving someone is feeling like you’ll never get enough time to be with them. Maybe we’re bound to always feel that way about every loved one we lose, even if it’s after sixty or eighty years.”

“Yeah, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier, though.”

“I know… I know, if anything it just makes life scarier.”

…

“I was kind of kicked out of Sunday school…?”

“Say what?”

“Yeah… I was almost seven, I think… We were asked to draw a graph to represent our faith on God, and I just drew something likes this” Hands gesture a vertical line and an horizontal line, and then, between the two, a diagonal line that plummets drastically, “So they just told my parents I wasn’t taking it seriously enough… I was a week away from my first communion.”

“Oh my god, Blaine, that’s adorable.”

“I just thought we were supposed to be honest!” a laugh. “I mean, it was probably when Cooper was at his worst, and there weren’t any signs of him getting better, so… what was I supposed to think? They should’ve waited a few months to ask me that, and that line would’ve skyrocketed!”

A frown, “So you _do_ believe in god?”

“Oh, absolutely not.”

…

“Do the rules of the e-mails apply to Skype?”

“What rules?”

“You know.. _the_ rule. Don’t ask, don’t tell…?”

“Oh… I… I don’t know… I…”

“I want to kiss you.”

“Oh…”

“All the time.”

“Blaine…”

“What?”

“Maybe they should. The rules, I mean. Maybe they should apply. Because if you say that I might cry again… I want it, too… But right now there’s just so much that I want and that I can’t have, and I just can’t think about it, right now…”

A sigh. “Okay…”

Hesitant eyes, sharp intake of breath. “Okay?”

An honest, reassuring smile. “Okay. I’m sorry I even brought it up.”

…

An excited shout. “Stop!”

A hand scribbles furiously fast for another second before it stops. “Okay, Names I got Camellia.”

“Carmen. So, then points each.”

“Animals, I got camel.”

“Cat, goodie, goddie. Ten more points.”

“Brands I got Camel.”

“Blaine…”

“What, it’s a brand…” A shrug.

“Fine, I got Citroen…”

“Uhh, nice one. Alright, so for countries, cities or villages I got Cambodia.”

“Chile. Colors, I have coal.”

“Camel.”

“Blaine.”

“What? It’s a color.”

“It’s not a color. That’s beige.”

“It’s too a color!”

“It’s not!”

“Are you telling me that you’ve never used the word camel to describe the color of a fabric?”

A long pause. “No.”

“Alright, but if camel’s beige, than coal’s either grey or black. I mean, come on, Kurt, do you really want to go down that coal-colored road?”

-x-

**Wednesday, 15 th January, 2015 – 15:21**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** You should make a career out of improving Katy Perry songs

Hey,

So thanks for last night, it really helped. And seeing your face is so delightful! I can’t believe I’ll be seeing it LIVE in just a little more than a dozen days!

I still can’t believe Tina cut her hair that short and didn’t tell me! She looks so good, she looks so hot! Aw, man, I missed those guys! You’re so lucky to get to live with them. (I’m lucky to live with Rachel, too, but I’m sure they’re a little more reasonable and sensible than her).

So, I’ve been thinking about it, and I guess that kidnapping Pirate would be wrong, because I understand you’ve grown attached to her and so you would be sad, but you need to promise that I’ll be her cool uncle that brings her little toys and spoils her with cuddles. Those are my terms, take it or leave it.

I can’t believe no more Skype… But it was well used, both times. And I’ll be seeing you so soon.

I still miss you,

Kurt

-x-

**Wednesday, 15 th January, 2015 – 23:01**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I can agree to your terms

I think Pirate is going to love having you as her cool uncle. And she does love her toys and some good cuddling, so it’s a great match. I’m just a little apprehensive because I think you two will get along so well that you’ll both forget all about me, but I guess I can try not to panic.

I told you! She looks amazing! Tina got home looking like that the other day I was just speechless. My jaw dropped. Mike’s jaw dropped! You should’ve seen his face! Let’s just say I slept with my headphones on that night.

And you need to stop saying those things about Katy Perry. I get itchy with guilt, because I do love her, but you know… I’m also preening!

I’m going to miss your face and your voice for the next few days until you get back, but, you know, it’s so close, I think we can survive it :) And once you’re here I’ll play you every Katy Perry song you want – or, you know, it doesn’t have to be Katy Perry. Whatever, I just love playing for you. And hopefully with you?

You do not have to thank me for last night. I loved hearing all about Finn, he must’ve been a fantastic guy and I think you were all blessed to have met him.

I know this e-mail is verging on breaking the rules.

But I miss you too,

Blaine

P.S.: I googled “colors that start with a c” and camel was listed as an option. Booyah, bitch.

-x-

**Thursday, 16 th January, 2015 – 16:06**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Do you have to sleep with your headphones on often?

I’m curious, because I know for a fact that Tina greatly enjoys the physical part of their relationship (in fact you can hardly get her to shut up about it, sometimes, and god knows I try). What’s it like living with them, on that front?

Oh please, you live for praise. Shut up! You do not feel guilty, no matter how much you claim to love Katy Perry, and you know perfectly well that everyone thinks your covers are better than the originals. If you truly felt bad about it you’d just stop covering her songs! Stop fishing for more compliments!

So, yesterday was not my best day in workroom (something about staying up most of the night, cough cough), but I caught up today and it’s going really well. I’m really proud of how it’s turning out. I can’t wait for you to see it!

I’m going to go and buy a little toy for Pirate!

I think that’s a reasonable concern, you should panic,

Kurt

P.S.: How do you go from sweet to obnoxious in such a short space?

-x-

**Friday, 17 th January, 2015 – 17:45**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** The first two weeks were the worst

No, I’m kidding. They’re mostly respectful and careful to keep the volume down. The bedrooms are opposite each other with the living room in the middle, so most of the time I’ll only catch something if I have to go out for a glass of water or something. I’ve walked in on them going at it in the living room a couple of times, though, so I’ve learned to ring the bell before going inside if I know that they’re both home. It doesn’t keep the bras off the living room furniture, but at least by the time I open the door they’ve moved things to their bedroom. Really, it’s fairly peaceful. I was a little afraid at first, but it’s been perfect!

I love Tina, I think she’s great! She’s not just nice, she’s always so positive, I love that about her. And Mike’s the perfect video game buddy, because he’s so peaceful he keeps me calm, too. Living with them is having the best effect on my energy and overall mood. It’s like coming home to a safe, warm, happy place. It’s like mixing Mike’s zen, Tina’s energy, and my… you know, whatever it is I bring into this mixture… dapperness? (*cough* money? *cough*)

And I know you’ve seen Mike dancing, but seriously Kurt, it’s hypnotizing! He’s amazing!

Now, of course I’m not going to live with them forever, but I hope I can absorb as much of the ambience from this house and take it wherever I go next, because it’s really the most comfortable I’ve been since I was like thirteen and still okay with living with my parents.

Ahahah! I wasn’t fishing…! Consciously.

I can’t wait to see it and try it on either!!!!!! :D

NOOOOOOO,

Blaine

P.S.: It’s a talent I always have possessed :D

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th January, 2015 – 16:06**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** And don’t you ever forget who made it possible!

How glad are you that I told you about them? Who’s the best housemates matchmaker ever?

I’m definitely fishing for compliments! I know when I deserve them.

I think it’s impossible for people not to get along with Mike, and it’s even more impossible not to coo at the two of them together. They were absolutely made for each other! If someone needs to re-establish their faith in love, all they have to do is have lunch with those two; it’s almost sickening!

So guess who just spent like an hour at the supermarket waiting to pay, because the person in front of me decided to pay a year’s worth of shopping in five different receipts, so he could use his discount coupons or whatever. I tried asking him (in French) if I could just go first because I only had like four items and he just sneered at me, and then turned to the cashier and said “Tourists…”

Guess whose wife is going to find a gay porn magazine amidst the groceries?,

Kurt

-x-

**Saturday, 18 th January, 2015 – 21:48**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** You did not!!!

You really bought a porn magazine just to shove it in his grocery bags? Do you do that often?

Rude people are the worst.

I’ve already vowed eternal gratitude, what more do you want?

Thank you,

Blaine

-x-

**Sunday, 19 th January, 2015 – 11:36**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I didn’t buy it!

I put it in his last batch of groceries, and he was so busy bagging his other batch that he didn’t see the cashier registering it and shoving it in the bag with the cucumbers. Oh sweet life.

Seriously, it’s like everyone in Paris is ultra rude (I’m exaggerating, of course). Especially once they realize you’re not French (“Ugh, I know my city is beautiful, I don’t need you coming to fawn all over it!”).

The porn magazine thing was the first time. But I have a hard time letting people get away with being asses. I mean, it’s not that hard pouring half a shaker of salt on a chocolate sundae, or slipping an unpaid garment with the alarm on into someone’s shopping bags/purse, or putting chewing gum on a long head of hair.

No, I’m kidding. Mostly. I only ever did the salt one, and I may have not warned an old, horrible teacher of mine that I’d seen a couple of guys putting a crazy amount of laxatives in his coffee.

But honestly, why should people get away with being rude and mean? I refuse to just shut up and take it.

To answer your question, I need you to voice said gratitude. Just feeling it ain’t enough.

You’re welcome,

Kurt

-x-

**Sunday, 19 th January, 2015 – 19:57**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I can’t with you right now

What if he’d seen the cashier registering the magazine, or if he was the one bagging it?

Fuck, Kurt, you are one brave, ballsy little shit, and I’m sitting here laughing my ass of and in complete awe. Teach me your ways.

Did you purposefully put it next to the cucumbers or is it just one of those things in life that are randomly magnificent?

I some times want to do something like that, but then I just start thinking that maybe that person’s just having a really crappy day, maybe he didn’t mean it, maybe he’ll regret it once the pressure’s off… And I know that’s probably the case 1% of the times, but I just can’t bring myself to do anything. Blergh.

Also I’m a chicken shit and I can’t stand confrontations, so there’s that.

Thank you,

Blaine

-x-

**Monday, 20 th January, 2015 – 15:31**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** have you seen my “it wasn’t me” face?

I’m telling you buddy, if I want someone to believe it wasn’t me, they won’t. I could be found in a murder scene with the murder weapon in my hand, covered in the victim’s still warm blood and they’d still believe me if I said it wasn’t me.

To this day my father still thinks that a stray, violent and supersonic cat ate my childhood pet, Ernest the Hamster, when we were playing outside (I stepped on it accidentally – it was small and I couldn’t see it in the grass). To this day my glee club teacher still believes it was the football team who broke into his office and wrote “outdated, predictable and lame” on all his Journey music sheets (like they even knew what those words meant), and proceeded to shred them the following week. To this day Rachel still believes that she lost her iPod even though she never took it out of its stereo dock, after I accidentally dropped it in the toilet and ruined it.

You should try having rosy cheeks and baby blue eyes. It does wonders for your credibility.

I don’t mind a little confrontation; I can coach you in it if you want.

Guess who’s putting the finishing touches on his final design project for the semester?

This guy,

Kurt

-x-

**Tuesday, 21 st January, 2015 – 18:33**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** You’re a psychopath

I’m a little bit scared right now. You killed your childhood pet and then you had the presence of mind to lie about it? You broke into your teacher’s office? (I can understand the one about Rachel’s iPod a little bit…) How old were you when these things happened?!

And why are you using a murder scene description to prove how convincing you are?

I don’t know if I want you coaching me, Kurt.

Finishing touches?!?!?! Weeeee!!!! Eeeeeck! Excitement!

Thank you,

Blaine

-x-

**Wednesday, 22 nd January, 2015 – 15:31**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** You are a chicken shit, sir

You scare easy, Blaine.

Of course I had the presence of mind to lie about it. I killed the little guy in the morning and my parents only came back home at 5 pm. The babysitter didn’t even realize there was a hamster to begin with, she was too busy reading a gossip magazine. I was six and I thought I would go to jail for murder if they knew.

And our glee club teacher had an unreasonable amount of affection for Journey (and outdated music of the like). At first we did Don’t Stop Believing and it was cute, and then with did a Journey medley and it was okay… but after that it was just infuriating. Someone had to do something. I was sixteen.

The final presentation is tomorrow!

I’m so nervous,

Kurt

-x-

**Wednesday, 22 nd January, 2015 – 18:33**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** you thought you’d go to jail for hamster murder?

That’s adorable and not nearly as creepy. Because, you know, hurting animals is one of the signs of psychopathy.

And I guess I can sympathize with the Journey thing. I just think it might have been easier if you’d asked him to branch out…?

GOO LUCK TOMORROW/TODAY because I know it’s mad late over there

Less than ten days. You realize that?

Thank you,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 23 rd January, 2015 – 16:47**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** TOP MARKS, BITCH!

TOP MARKS AND THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THE SUBJECT!

(You did not meet Will Schuester, you do not get to judge my methods. He never listened to anyone’s opinion besides Finn, Rachel or his crush-and-wife-to-be. NEVER.)

WAY LESS THAN 10 DAYS!

TOP MARKS,

Kurt

-x-

**Thursday, 23 rd January, 2015 – 18:33**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** CONGRATULATIONS

Holy fuck, top marks! You’re amazing, Kurt! You deserve it! You’ll conquer fashion! You’ll take them all by storm! I just know it.

I’m so happy and so proud and so excited for you! I’m literally pausing every five seconds while I write this e-mail to jump around and dance for a little bit!

When you’re back you’re telling me everything about that project presentation! I want a blow-by-blow account of the events.

(Your glee club teacher sounds a little… bleh. Also, tell me the crush-wife-to-be wasn’t a student and part of the glee club.)

Thank you,

Blaine

-x-

**Thursday, 23 rd January, 2015 – 16:47**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** you can stop with the gratitude now

It’s getting a little creepy. And I like the way we’ve revolutionized the formal letter format, and the subject feature, too.

You’re making me blush, Blaine. But I did say I knew when I deserved the praise and I think I definitely do.

My outfits were not just gorgeous, but the concept was completely there and so well incorporated and they liked it so much. “It’s not just your average vintage look; it’s a modern interpretation of something old-fashioned. It’s completely fresh but somehow familiar.”

(He was. She wasn’t.)

This is the life,

Kurt!

-x-

**Thursday, 23 rd January, 2015 – 18:33**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I liked it too :)

We revolutionized e-mailing in a generation that doesn’t use e-mail anymore.

My turn to ask you for a top three. Top three e-mails I sent you.

Your top three e-mails, in my opinion are:

1) The e-mail all in caps lock you sent on the first night we talked

2) Your reply to my first ever e-mail

3) When you first told me about Finn

I really like it that we have a written account of the first couple of months we knew each other.

You should definitely be proud of yourself. That’s amazing praise, Kurt. Absolutely amazing! I can’t stop smiling for you!

Screw Facebook chat and IM’ing,

Blaine

-x-

**Friday, 24 th January, 2015 – 10:56**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** I can’t believe I go back tomorrow

Holy shit girls!

I can’t believe I’m coming home!

I can’t believe I’m packing up…!

I can’t wait to see you! I’ve missed you all so much!

Tell me that Blaine still has no idea I’m coming home tomorrow. I’m gonna do the thing where you have to lure him out of the house and I’ll be there when you guys come back. I’ll let you stay for the really nice dinner I’ll cook for him (everyone), if you do help me out. We can work every detail tomorrow when you come pick me up at the airport. Just please, keep your mouths shut and lie convincingly.

I LOVE YOU,

Kurt

-x-

**Friday, 24 th January, 2015 – 11:13**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** But not Skype! No screw Skype!

I liked Skype!

Oooh, that’s an interesting top three to ask for, but also a no-brainer. (I’m a little confused by your choices, but okay)

1) Your first e-mail, just because it’s the one that started it all, predictable a choice as it is.

2) The e-mail you wrote whilst high on painkillers, because it feels like the first truly unguarded glimpse into you that I got.

3) A tie between your Christmas present (because, duh) and the e-mail where you told me about your childhood, coming out and the bone marrow transplant (because I knew then that no matter what you told me about yourself, you would always make sense to me)

I can’t believe I had to sacrifice the lame jokes, though. I love those e-mails. So much. And your Grandmother Christmas’ quotes too. Can’t I just choose them all?!

Do you approve?

Five days left.

Shit’s getting real,

Kurt

-x-

**Friday, 24 th January, 2015 – 14:24**

**From:** Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** RE: I can’t believe I go back tomorrow

We’ve got it covered! Just get your cute little butt over here so I can hug you and squeeze the dear life out of you!!!!

I LOVE YOU TOO

Best regards,

Rachel Berry

NYADA student for Musical Theatre

-x-

**Friday, 24 th January, 2015 – 16:24**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** You won’t need Skype anymore pretty soon, though

My choices make perfect sense, what are you talking about?

Your first reply to my e-mail got me a little curious because it was relatively polite but with an underlying dose of quirkiness and I just couldn’t put my finger on what exactly was happening there, and it confused me, but mostly it just made me really eager to talk to you.

The caps lock e-mail was just you being insane and adorably so. I read it and I thought, “this is a person worth knowing well. There’s nothing boring or predictable about this guy. I want this in my life.”

And the e-mail about Finn was very honest, and genuine. _You_ , Kurt Hummel, the guy studying in fashion in Paris for a semester, became real for me that day.

That’s not a lot of days at all, and shit will get real, because the rules will be gone.

Are you scared?,

Blaine

-x-

**Friday, 24 th January, 2015 – 17:09**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** When you put it that way

It just makes me love your first e-mail that much more.

I’m not scared,

Kurt

-x-

**Monday, 25 th January, 2015 – 04:41**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** Airport time

See you later, bitches.

Love, Kurt

-x-

**Monday, 25 th January, 2015 – 09:45**

**From:** Tina Cohen-Chang (tina_cc94@gmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com), Rachel Berry (miss_rachel_berry@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** friends lie for their friends

Kurt,

I knew this was worth lying to you about.

I’m sorry, but the surprise he’s been planning is just way better than yours.

Of course, by the time you see this you’ll know I was right.

Welcome home!

Love,

Tina

-x-

**Monday, 25 th January, 2015 – 10:51**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Confession time 2.0

Kurt,

You’re in the second airplane right now, crossing the Atlantic.

I’ve known you were coming back on the 25th pretty much the whole time.

Did you really think I’d wait that long to ask? When I moved in with Tina and Mike, one of the first nights, we were talking about you and how cool it was that you were in Paris for a whole semester and Tina mentioned that when you stopped to think about it a semester wasn’t really that long and then said something like “I mean, think about it, he’s coming back January 25th, that’s so close!”

I think she was stealthily trying to talk me into pursuing a relationship with you. Like I needed convincing!

Anyway, technically you’re not in Paris anymore and I’m pretty sure you’ll only see this once you’re home so screw the rules.

I want this to be in writing, just like everything that lead to this e-mail and to the sentence I’m about to write next is.

I’m falling in love with you.

I think you already knew this – I hope you did! But just in case my words failed me and weren’t enough to convey everything that I meant with them and the lines between them, I wanted you to read it exactly as it is. Crystal clear.

I can’t wait to start on every stupid promise we made to each other – from breaking up, to watching Will & Grace, to making up.

For the first time in my life I really feel like I’m falling for someone worthwhile, and it’s an amazing feeling to know that my heart is in the right hands. I’ll be sure to let you know when I’m done falling.

Thank you, for replying to my e-mail and reading my essay.

I’ll see you at the airport,

Blaine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know the dates are wrong, from last chapter to this one, but please, pretty please find it in your hearts to ignore it because it would be a bitch to correct it all.)  
> Anyway, epilogue to come soon!


	7. Chapter 7

It’s not until Kurt’s walking across JFK towards baggage claim, with his little carryon rolling behind him, that it truly hits him that he’s home. The people around him (most of them) are speaking in English, the advertisements and the signs are in English, the sights look familiar, and everyone has that air that’s so distinctively American. As he waits for his baggage he closes his eyes and gets lost in the bliss of listening to the people around him talking and chatting.

His body aches with exhaustion from endless hours in airplanes, and he rolls his neck every five minutes to try and get the kinks out – no such luck. He tries to remember exactly how his bed looked in the loft. He smiles at the thought of slipping into it with his laptop and replying to Blaine’s latest e-mail, smirking all the while at his own cleverness. Then, he grins at the though of getting to see Blaine tomorrow.

As if the universe was just as eager as Kurt, the baggage belt starts moving with loud, mechanical noises, and a few seconds later bags start piling onto it. Kurt doesn’t have to wait very long before his comes along and he grabs it.

Hopefully the girls weren’t counting on him waiting ages for his luggage, because he’s not really in the mood to be standing around waiting for them – especially when them coming to pick him up is a mere courtesy as they still have to take a cab back to the loft. He checks his cellphone to see if it’s miraculously returned from the dead (these smart phones really weren’t meant to entertain people on long flights) and sighs when it’s just as lifeless. Hopefully the girls will be easy to spot. Rachel will probably squeal or something.

It’s when he crosses the exit gate that Kurt realizes something’s… strange. There’s a guy in a smart black suit and black tie, holding up a sign that reads “KURT HUMMEL”. He’s slightly familiar, with tanned skin, dark hair and Asian features, but Kurt can’t quite place him.

Kurt’s stomach clenches a little bit and he can’t help smiling even as he frowns. Maybe this is his dad’s idea of a joke. He approaches the guy and says, “I think that’s me.”

The guy nods and says, “If you’ll put this on and follow me.” Kurt’s handed a see-through, plastic poncho.

“What?”

“It’s, huh, pouring outside.” The guy offers as way of explanation.

Now, Kurt would have noticed if it was pouring outside, as he had walked from the plane to the airport shuttle, and not a drop of water had landed on him. But, then again, maybe in the twenty minutes or so he’s been inside the building things have changed.

Trying not to look too displeased at such an offensive garment he puts it on and the guy takes off, not towards the exit, but towards the crowd gathered around the coffee shops and the notice boards.

Kurt bites his tongue and follows him.

He’s dangerously close to saying something, when the guy finally stops at a table for two, that doesn’t seem to belong to any of coffee shops in particular and has two pieces of white paper on top of it, and says “Take a seat, please.”

“What?”

“Please, take a seat, Mr. Hummel.” The guy insists, and when Kurt looks around himself to see if there’s anyone noticing this weirdo, too, his eyes catch Rachel, Tina, Mercedes, Santana, Mike and Sam, grinning as they look at him from a couple feet away, cell phones out and possibly recording.

“What? You guys?” He immediately starts towards them, his own face splitting into a wide grin as he laughs.

“Kurt, just take the goddamn seat!” Mercedes gives him a warning look.

He stops in his tracks, and observes the group as they seem to be practically shaking with anticipation of… something.

Slowly it starts to dawn on Kurt that only the girls were supposed to be there to pick him up, and that the guy in the black suit was definitely not part of _that_ plan and that, besides his dad whose answer had always been an adamant no, the only person who even knew he kind of sort of wanted that was… _Blaine_.

With a thundering heart, Kurt feels his face burn a deep red as he walks carefully towards the table and takes his seat. The guy in the black suit picks up the piece of paper and hands it to him.

Kurt only has time to flick his eyes over it and register that it seems to be the script for some sort of dialogue when a blur of someone hastily takes the chair opposite him, and a voice that sounds wonderfully familiar, even without the added distortion of a Skype call, rushes out, “Kurt, I’m so sorry I’m late! I hope you haven’t been waiting long, I just got held up at school!”

Kurt yanks his eyes out of the paper only to find Blaine, sitting right there in front of him, in all his glory. Blaine’s cheeks are flushed a lovely shade of pink, and his eyes are wide, and his lips are quirked up to a smile.

“Blaine?!” Kurt gasps. It seems his IQ has dropped about fifty percent.

Blaine just shakes his head, smiling even wider and gestures towards the piece of paper.

Kurt frowns and reluctantly makes his eyes leave Blaine’s perfect face.

_Blaine: Kurt, I’m so sorry I’m late! I hope you haven’t been waiting long, I just got held up at school!_

_Kurt: Oh, really? What were you doing?_

_Blaine: Nothing, nothing… just…._

Kurt frowns and looks up at Blaine who gives him an encouraging nod, grinning.

“Huh,… oh really? What were you doing?” Kurt stutters out.

“Nothing, nothing…” Blaine replies, adopting an over the top expression of panic, “Just…”

The guy in the black suit approaches with a glass filled with what looks like Coca-cola and puts them on the table, “Your drink, sir.” For the first time, Kurt notices that Blaine’s also wearing a stupid plastic poncho.

Kurt’s brain is catching up, but at the same time it can’t quite recover from the shock, and after a small moment of silence, where Blaine’s just sitting there in silent laughter, Kurt looks back to his script and reads “I know what you were doing, Blaine.”

“You do?”

“You were e-mailing someone else.” Kurt says and immediately can’t help frowning and laughing, “What?!”

Blaine gives him a pointed look of ‘just go with it’ and takes a hand to his chest and says “No… I wouldn’t… I…”

“Don’t lie to me, Blaine.” Kurt reads, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing too hard.

“I… alright. It’s true. But it’s only because I absolutely needed to, Kurt. I swear, I didn’t want to. I didn’t have a choice!”

Kurt actually does laugh, “Bullshit.”

“I…” Blaine says, and then looks between Kurt and the glass of Coke and gestures with his head as if to say ‘go ahead’.

Kurt just gapes at him, still as a statue, and not even capable of rational thought. From the corner of his eye he can tell they’re drawing a crowd.

He’s half yanked out of his stupor as Blaine urges him, voice shaking a little with laughter, “Please, Kurt, don’t throw your drink in my face, I know you’re angry, but be reasonable, we can work through this,” As he says it he reaches forward and takes Kurt’s hand in his (electric jolts, holy fuck shit fuck) and pretends to struggle as he guides their hands towards the glass of coke, and lifts it, “Kurt, no, please…”

“Blaine, what the…”

“Kurt, think of the hair!” Blaine gasps just as he finally flicks the glass towards his own face.

Kurt just stands there with his jaw dropped as Blaine sputters, eyes clenched and face dripping wet, bubbles fizzing against his skin. Around them there’s startled laughs and gasps, and Kurt can’t help look around himself, to find that there are dozens of people looking at them, including his own friends, with stupid smiles on their faces, several of them still recording it.

Blaine feels the table for his own script and then wipes his face with it, just as the guy in the suit leans close to Kurt and whispers “This is the part where you walk out.”

“Oh…” It takes him at least five seconds before he registers the information, and clumsily pushes his chair back and extricates himself from it. He’s walked a good five steps away when Blaine calls out “Kurt wait!”

Kurt checks his script. “What?” he calls over his shoulder without turning away.

“I’ll never e-mail anyone else again. I’ll delete all my contacts, except for you.”

“Why should I believe you?”

“I’ll write you an e-mail once a day for a whole year. I’ll write you three hundred and sixty five e-mails.”

Kurt turns dramatically towards Blaine, who’s looking pretty ridiculous with coke dripping off his plastic poncho. He knows he doesn’t look all that better either. He checks the script quickly and then affects his voice to sigh and swoon, “Oh Blaine, I thought this was it. I thought now that we didn’t need to e-mail anymore you’d find someone else… I thought this was over.”

“It’s not over.” Blaine shakes his head vehemently, and steps closer, “It’s not over for me.” He is inches apart when he leans in and mutter “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” To which Kurt can only nod and surge forward.

Blaine’s hand curls around the back of his neck at once, and their lips crash together in a searing eager kiss.

At once there’s fresh water on his face. The kiss has barely lasted one ninth of a second when Kurt pulls back, startled, only to find Rachel and Tina happily spritzing away at them. He’s about to tell them off when Blaine just grabs his face and pulls him back. Around them there’s an explosion of applause and cooing. He can feel Blaine’s smile in the kiss as more water hits their faces and necks. It doesn’t take much for Kurt to completely forget about everything else and just throw his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and pull him closer.

When they break apart Blaine’s gasping, but grinning and he says, “I know it’s not pouring rain, but…”

“It’s not even lawn sprinklers, Blaine…” Kurt mutters, letting his arms fall back to his sides.

“Well, if it means that much to you, we can just do it again, you know…?” Blaine smiles, reaching out to take his hand with a sweet smile, and Kurt surprises him with another kiss instead, and they laugh as more water is spritzed at once.

They break apart amid laughter, “Holy shit…” Kurt gasps, looking around himself.

He doesn’t have much time to get his bearings before Rachel is squealing into his ear as she hugs him, and then Mercedes is right there too, and Tina, and the everyone else. All the while, Blaine’s hand is still safely clasped to his.

He takes deep breaths, and lets out long sighs, and everything is still as surreal.

“Oh!” Blaine gasps and turns Kurt towards the guy in the suit, “Kurt, this is Wes, Wes, this is Kurt.”

“Oh!” Kurt chuckles, tons of pictures from New Years Eve on every single of his friend’s Facebooks suddenly coming back to him, “Hi!”

Wes gives him a polite, but warm smile as he says, “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Kurt.”

“Oh, gosh, likewise! That’s why you looked familiar! I’ve seen you around Facebook!” he breathes out, just as Rachel flings her arms over his and Blaine’s shoulders.

“So, we’re ready to go home and have an awesome dinner before you collapse for a week?” she asks, just as, next to them, Sam and Mike have started to take the table and the chairs back to whatever coffee shop they belong to.

Kurt barely has time to think, before Blaine nods and lets his voice carry through to the crowd “Thank you very much, we’re sorry to let you know this was a one-time only performance and there will be no encore. Thank you for coming, and have safe trips.”

They receive another round of applause while some people whoop and cheer, and Blaine actually bows, a couple of times before giggling, with bright red cheeks and saying “Alright, let’s go!”

Wes and Tina have already picked up Kurt’s luggage and started towards the exit. Rachel slips her arm through his free one and he lets her lead the way, as Blaine trails slightly behind, his hand still firmly grasping Kurt’s.

As they walk, Rachel hands him a tissue and Kurt accepts it with a thankful smile, wiping the water that’s still dripping off his face, and finally taking off the silly poncho.

It’s not until he’s seated in a cab, _somehow_ , alone with Blaine, that he’s able to stop reeling. He closes his eyes and for a good minute he just breathes. After a long breath he finally turns to Blaine and says, “So, hi!”

Blaine beams and says, “Hi.”

“Did this just happen?” Kurt mutters.

“I keep my promises.” Blaine shifts his body sideways, so he’s facing Kurt, and lets his head fall against the headrest. His eyes are peaceful and warm, and his cheeks still hold a sweet tinge of pink.

“I don’t even know what to say…!”

“Is that a good thing?” Blaine asks carefully, reaching out to tangle their fingers together.

“Yes!” Kurt breathes.

“Good, good… I’m glad.” They share a long smile, before Blaine’s turns into a smirk and he says, “So you see, it is possible to ask someone whether they like surprise parties and still surprise them.”

Kurt shoves him away, but laughs, “Shut up!”, to which Blaine just shrugs and chuckles.

“Are you exhausted?”

“I can stay awake for dinner.” Kurt scrunches up his nose and then moves a little closer, “Are you guys all coming over?”

“Only if you want us too.”

Kurt rolls his eyes before he leans over and kisses Blaine. They keep it light and chaste and when he pulls back he lets his head rest against Blaine’s shoulder.

“Are you going to fall asleep?” Blaine’s voice is relaxed and soothing.

“I can’t make any promises, right now.”

“Okay…” Blaine nods, circling his arm around Kurt’s shoulders, and pulling him a little closer.

“You know,” Kurt says, letting his fingers play lightly against Blaine’s, “I thought meeting and being with you like this… I thought this would be so weird…”

“Is it?” Blaine asks calmly.

“Not at all.”

-x-

**Sunday, 26 th January, 2015 – 12:01**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** You sneaky little goober

Dear Blaine,

I’m falling for you, too. Very hard, very fast.

I’ll never get over yesterday.

I love my life right now.

Will you be my boyfriend?

Answer in person with a kiss, please (because we can).

I’ll see you AGAIN tonight,

Kurt

-x-

**Sunday, 26 th January, 2015 – 12:05**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Your loft walls are camel colored.

That is all,

Blaine Anderson

Your future boyfriend

Day 1 – E-mail 1

-x-

**Friday, 14 th February, 2015 – 16:15**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Happy Valentine’s Day

Dinner chez moi, seven thirty sharp. Please do not be late. I cashed in on a lot of favors to get the place to ourselves.

Kiiiisseeeessss!

Blaine

Day 19 – E-mail 19

-x-

**Tuesday, 18 th February, 2015 – 22:56**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** What do you mean you had to go study?

Boooo. Be less responsible.

Also, you’re not going to study at 23.00. We both know you’re going to watch America’s Next Top Model. Cheater.

Blaine

Day 23 – E-mail 23

-x-

**Saturday, 1 st March, 2015 – 19:01**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Done falling.

Blaine

Day 34 – E-mail 34

-x-

**Saturday, 22 nd March, 2015 – 12:04**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** This one e-mail a day thing

Is so strange now that you’re here and I get to be with you almost daily and you get to read what I’m writing over my shoulder. Hey there, Kurt. You know that it’s rude to read over people’s shoulders?

Thanks for the head you gave me this morning! :D :D :D

That was completely uncalled for. I was thanking you. You do not slap people for thanking you.

Love,

Bee

Day 55 – E-mail 55

-x-

**Saturday, 05 th April, 2015 – 17:37**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Movie at 9pm

Don’t be late!

This is the 69th day/e-mail. I feel like the occasion should be celebrated tonight, if you get my drift.

Love,

Bee

Day 69 – E-mail 69

-x-

**Tuesday, 29 th April, 2015 – 19:57**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Hi!

How have you been since I last saw you five minutes ago?

No, but really, have fun with the girls and let me know when you get home so I don’t worry.

Love,

Bee

Day 93 – E-mail 93

-x-

**Sunday, 18 th May, 2015 – 06:37**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I don’t even know.

Hey Kurt.

I don’t think I did anything to deserve the way you treated me last night. If I did, tell me what so I can try to be better about it. But even if I’d done anything wrong nothing justifies what happened. Nothing. You can’t talk to me like that ever again.

I understand that you’re stressed and under a lot of pressure, and I like that I’m a safe place for you, and that you feel like you can vent with me. But venting is one thing and projecting/letting out all your frustrations on me is another entirely different. I love you, but I need you to remember that I’m not your punching bag just because I’m here, I’m close and I won’t just walk away.

I can’t sleep.

Get back to me when you’re feeling better. No hard feelings.

I love you,

Blaine

Day 112 – E-mail 112

-x-

**Thursday, 19 th June, 2015 – 14:37**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Dinner was so delicious last night.

I think we should quit school and open a restaurant together. It’s going to be called “Kurt cooks 70% of it and Honey-Bee adds pepper to everything and annoys Kurt even though it really tasted better afterwards”.

Love,

Bee

Day 144 – E-mail 144

-x-

**Wednesday, 16 th July, 2015 – 22:39**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I hope you’re happy now

My mom loves you more than she loves me. This is exactly what I feared. This is exactly why I didn’t want you guys to meet.

(She doesn’t love you more than I do, though. I love you ridiculous levels. I love you as much as my dad loves barbecue sauce. I love you as much as Jupiter is big. I love you as much as water is wet. I love you so much)

I can’t believe we did this. I can’t believe I met your family and you met mine. I can’t believe they all met.

I LOVE YOU,

Honey-Bee

Day 171 – E-mail 171

-x-

**Thursday, 7 th August, 2015 – 12:23**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** you’re so right

Make-up sex is the best.

But I don’t think we should make a habit of fighting so we can have make up sex. I’m sure there are better ways to spice up the good, old sex life. Not that we need it, anyway.

Love you,

Bee

Day 193 – E-mail 193

-x-

**Sunday, 28 th September, 2015 – 20:19**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** This is an email

Because I keep my promises. However stupid they may be.

Love,

Bee

Day 235 – E-mail 235

-x-

**Monday, 27 th October, 2015 – 23:07**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** I haven’t seen you in ages

(3 days IS the new definition of ages). Please, please either come over or meet me after school or something. I promise we can study together. I won’t distract you too much. I need to see our beautiful face, that’s all.

With yearning love,

Bee

Day 273 – E-mail 273

-x-

**Friday, 14 th November, 2015 – 22:46**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Apology

Maybe one day I’ll actually deserve you. I don’t know. God. I don’t know why I did that. I should’ve stopped talking to him the moment I knew you were uncomfortable. Of course he doesn’t mean anything to me, and I never even for one second considered the thought of cheating or even flirting back. And I wasn’t scoping out the field, or experimenting, or checking if I “still got it”. **But** I knew he didn’t have friendship on his mind and I still agreed to coffee and for the life of me I still can’t figure out why I did that. I mean, I can… but I’m going to be disgusted with myself if I put it into words.

I know you’ll forgive me, Kurt, and I’m so thankful for that – the same way I’m thankful everyday for the fact that, somehow, you love me. But I don’t want you to think I’m just going to forget about this or whatever. I’m beyond committed to you and this relationship, and I’ll always want to be better at it, and for you. Everyday I’m learning to be better for you – or at the very least I’m trying. I promise I am.

To quote something you once wrote, “We’re so good for each other.”

Thank you for being in my life, and if I ever take you for granted, do me a favor and slap me across the face or something.

I can’t say it enough.

I love you,

Blaine

Day

Day 292 – E-mail 292

-x-

**Saturday, 20 th December, 2015 – 09:53**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** The thing about your tongue, Mr. Hummel

Is that it’s made of magic.

I’m writing a song about it. I thought you should know.

It’s definitely going in the album.

Love you lots,

Bee

Day 328 – E-mail 328

-x-

**Monday, 26 th January, 2015 – 09:53**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Last of the promised e-mails

So this was fun and only slightly annoying. I’m a little sad to see it end, but I think it’s for the best. You know, I think I’d be sending you one-word e-mails at some point. Either that, or live-narrating your movements in the house. I mean, I think of communication as an important foundation of any healthy relationship, but I think if this were to continue you might strangle me at some point. Don’t you? There is such a thing as over-communication. Leave something to the imagination, am I right?

Also, maybe I should stop writing and go help you unpack.

How mad are you going to be when you realize I’m not actually writing anything important? Leave me a box or two so I can feel like I helped some.

On a scale of one to ten, how cool is it living with Tina and Mike, hey? I mean, hit me back with an answer in like three days so you’re not, you know, just guessing.

Also, it’s been one year and one day since we first kissed. My balance of that year is pretty positive. Quite possibly the best year of my life, so far.

You look tired, Kurt. Maybe I should go help you out. Or you could take a break. Okay, wait a sec, let me just ask you if you wanna take a break.

Soooo, I’m gonna go help you out, kay?

I’ll send you an e-mail when I actually need to send you an e-mail.

So much love,

Bee

Day 365 – E-mail 365

-x-

**Thursday, 13 th November, 2018 – 11:12**

**From:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **To:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **Subject:** Topics in Contemporary Music – essay delivery

 **Attachments** : ring.jpeg, just_the_way_you_are.mp3

Dear Mr. Kurt Hummel,

Will you marry me?

The very best regards,

Blaine Anderson

Your boyfriend (future fiancé)

-x-

**Thursday, 13 th November, 2018 – 11:12**

**From:** Kurt Hummel (khummel@gmail.com)

 **To:** Blaine Anderson (bdevon_anderson@hotmail.com)

 **Subject:** You’re so predictable

I’m right here in the room Blaine,

K. H.

(Please, pretend you didn’t hear me squeal, and pretend I’m not near sobbing right now. I still want our future kids to think I’m the cool one in the relationship when we show them these.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this fic so much. It might actually be my favorite ever. Thank you so much to all of you who followed and reviewed it! I don’t really want to stop writing it, SO by all means, if there’s something you think you’d find interesting reading about in this verse hit me with a prompt at my tumblr (a-simple-rainbow) or PM me. I’ll keep posting those drabbles, if the prompts ever come, here and change this to a series. :)


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